Einstürzende Neubauten, Hank Williams III and Sean Lennon

I am now listening to Einstürzende Neubauten. They are a German industrial band. The CD to which I am listening is "Strategies Against Architecture." There are three volumes in the series with this name. They are compilations of selections from their various CD's. The first contains their more experimental, some would say their more painful, music. Their name translates as "Tearing down new buildings. Neubauten referred to the style of buildings built in East Germany when the country was divided. They used things that most people would not think of as using as musical instruments, a shopping cart, water dripping on a hot stove, metal springs, etc. In one selection they play with water. I worked with someone who had lived in Germany, but he had not been familiar with the band. When I first mentioned the name of the band he thought I was talking about actually tearing down buildings. I gave him a copy of one of their CD's. I told him that some people thought their music was painful. He told me the next day that he had listened to the music with the volume on his car sound system turned up. He was a bit shocked. He had not been listening closely to what I had said about their music. He thought I had said that their music was controversial. It may be controversial, but that is mainly because of its experimental nature. I enjoy listening to their music at a high volume. It can be cathartic, and I am a bit of a masochist. Actually, I do not find their music painful, but at times it fits my mood perfectly. This is especially true when I am in a more radical mood.
I was listening to Hank Williams III earlier. One of the things that I like about him is that he can go from country to punk to metal. He has combined country and metal-style vocals in the same song. I like his fuck-the-world attitude. I have heard that in his concerts he does performs from two or more of these genres. I would like to go to one of his concerts.
Also earlier I was listening to Sean Lennon. He is a very talented musician. He plays several instruments and plays in various styles. He has done some work with his mother, Yoko Ono. He has done some a couple of film soundtracks, some somewhat experimental instrumental music, and he has done some more pop-like songs solo and with different bands. Some of his songs remind me of the Beatles. I hope he continues to produce music.

Sometimes I Take Expressions too Literally in English

One of the things about myself that I have found embarrassing about myself is my tendency to take expressions in English literally. For some reason unknown to me me this does not happen with other languages. I remember when I was maybe six or seven years old someone asked me how high I could count. I thought he meant how high I could count before I got bored with doing or physically able to count. My answer was two hundred. He asked why I couldn't count higher if I could count that high. It was then that I realized he had wanted to know how high I knew how to count. I did not answer. I did not want him to think I was being disrespectful. I have never been especially fond of people asking if someone can do something when they want to know if they know how to do that thing. At times in workplaces my tendency to take things too literally has caused some awkward moments. I cannot remember any specific instances at this time, but if I remember them later I will write about them if they are amusing enough. I do not have this problem with a few of my favorite expressions in French. One is "chercher des champignon." Literally this means "to look for mushrooms," but it is used when one is going into the woods to pee. Another is definitely not politically correct, but I like it anyway. It is "être con comme la lune." In French "con" can mean cunt or stupid. It is definitely not a polite term. "être con comme la lune" literally means "to be cunt (or stupid) like the moon." It is used to call someone very stupid. Sometimes I like to say "Je suis con comme la lune." I really do not think of myself in that way, but I think it sometimes as a way not to take myself too seriously or in an ironic way, saying the opposite of what I mean. That, in a way is taking myself too seriously. Another expression I learned years ago is "parler français comme une vache espagnole." I do not know if this expression is used currently. Literally it means "to speak French like a Spanish Cow." I saw it translated into English as "to murder the French language" or "to speak French very badly." It makes no sense to me why my brain is more flexible in languages other than English than it is in English. I may never know why this is true.

A Silly Question and Avoidance of Being Clever Just to Be Clever

There is one question that has always seemed a bit silly. "Can God make a rock so big that he cannot lift it." It is usually asked by people who are trying to be clever. If they ask this question they fail miserably at being clever. Lift from where? If said rock were larger than the object from which it is being lifted would this action still be considered lifting? In terms of things the size of planets would a larger thing be considered to be on something smaller than itself? A true answer to this question does not reflect the limitations of God but the limitations of semantics. I have not wasted a lot of time pondering this silly question, but this is my view on the matter.

I usually try to avoid trying to be clever just for the sake of being clever. I do like to make people laugh and/or think. I tend to avoid people who try too hard to be clever. I find that too many people who consider clever try to show this by put downs. I usually find nothing amusing about clever put downs. On the other hand, I enjoy it when someone who is the recipient of a "clever" put down is able to deflect said insult and walk away unscathed.

One Assumption I Don't Mind (Sexual Content) and a short Mention of Eisbrecher

I realize that I contradict myself at times. I wrote that I do not like for people to make assumptions about me, but I had previously said I liked it when men see me and know that I am a cocksucker. There are always exceptions. I can sometimes tell when a man wants to have his cocks. It depends on the situation or hints from the man. Sometimes these hints are subtle, and sometimes the hints are not subtle at all. Once I was doing laundry in a laundromat, and a young Asian guy kept giving me a sly smile. I was getting the vibe that he wanted a blow job, but he never said anything. I was not bold enough to approach him to ask him. I told my roommate about his actions without telling what I had thought, and he came to the same conclusion that I had. Sometime later I saw him at a place where men sometimes had clandestine sex. I found out that my previous thoughts had been correct. He did want to have his dick sucked, and I was happy to do it for him. I know know by the force of his ejaculation in my mouth that I pleased him. A few months ago I was walking downtown. I was walking towards a young man walked towards me. He subtly brushed his crotch and kept walking. I looked back towards him, and I went into the restroom. I was not sure if he had been trying to get my attention or not. I soon knew the answer to that question. I was urinating at a urinal when he cam in and started stroking his cock at another urinal. I got closer to him, and we stroked each other's cocks. I asked if I could suck his. He nodded. I got on my knees, and took it in my mouth. He said when he was about to cum, and I kept it in my mouth until he did. Sometimes the hint that a guy wants to be sucked is as subtle as a certain kind of smile, and sometimes it is a not-so-subtle groping of his crotch accompanied by a lustful leer. I am still a little uncertain until words are spoken or we get somewhere and he makes his desires known more clearly known.

I am listening to a German band, Eisbrecher. I have a couple of their CD's, and I want to get more of their music. I mentioned before that I find the German language very sexy. The lead singer of this band, Alexander Wesselsky is sexy with a very sexy voice. Their music is called Neue Deutsche Härte or Dance Metal. I like this style of music. There are other bands in this genre that I like very much.

The First Installment on the Inaccuracies in the "History" Textbooks Used in Classes in the United States

The people who are usually referred to as "Native Americans" have been treated unfairly in history books and many "Westerns." I remember being taught that they were savages who attacked settlers who came here from Europe. They were not savages. It seems to be overlooked that they were defending their own land from invaders. They were trying to keep their own land from being stolen from them. I do remember reading about the broken treaties between the U.S. and the peoples whose land this had been. As most people know these treaties were broken by the U.S., and the U.S. is again ignoring treaties in regards to plans for the Keystone Pipeline to cross lands owned by Native American tribes. I have never been a fan of Westerns, but I remember seeing scenes where Native Americans were portrayed as villains, and the "settlers" were portrayed as innocent victims. This is a twisting of how things really were.  The "settlers" were really invading land to which they had no rights.
I do not like the term "Native Americans," but it is better than "Indians." I would prefer to use the name that the people used themselves, but I am referring to different groups of people. I am also ignorant of the real names of these peoples.
Much of what is written in history textbooks in this country is inaccurate. I have heard complaints that history taught in other countries is propaganda. The same thing is true concerning the history being taught in most of the United States.
There will be more to come on this topic at another time.

Looking Back on Watching I first Watched "To Sir with Love"

I remember when I first watched "To Sir with Love" with Sidney Poitier I did not know that the film dealt with race issues. I thought that the students were being disrespectful to the new teacher simply because he was a new teacher, and they were teenagers. The thought that they would be disrespectful because of his race simply did not enter my mind. It was not until I read the book upon the film was based that I noticed the racial aspect. I remember thinking that these were students who had been troublemakers, and the new teacher had to earn their respect. He had to prove that he was not going to put up with their bullshit. (These were not the words I thought at that age, but it is the same idea.) I still have difficulty grasping the concept of someone being treated disrespectfully based on skin color. For anyone to be treated as "less than" is something that I simply find unacceptable. This feeling is part of my core being. I cannot understand how blacks could be treated as they were in this country and continue to be treated here. The same goes for any marginalized group. Racial profiling with the police has to stop. Assumptions should not be made about anyone based on the color of their skin, attire, tattoos or any other exterior qualities. At work it is often assumed that because I am American I do not speak any languages besides English. People are often shocked to learn that I love languages and know a few of them. I am rusty in my languages, but I am working on that. I do not want to stop doing that. We do not have the right to judge anyone. All people should be treated with respect.

Furry Cons and a Glimpse at Why I am not Exaggerating when I Say that I Am Eclectic

For a few years I was able to go to furry cons, and that is one thing that I miss. I feel at home with most furries. The conventions have someone for every age group. There are activities that are fun for children, and there are parties in hotel rooms that are for adults only. I had long been aware of comic strips, comic books and animated films and cartoons with anthropomorphic animals before I was familiar with the furry  fandom. I did not know what to expect at my first furry con. I was happily surprised by how comfortable I felt there. Most of the people I met there were very friendly and nonjudgmental. It felt great to be in an atmosphere where two people of the same gender could walk hand in hand openly and openly kiss each other. There were dances, costume contests, art auctions, panels of different kinds, and other activities. There were some people wearing wonderfully made fursuits (or costumes, people use either term, some of the costumes are more anthropomorphic than others.) I mentioned yiffing before. That is an adults only activity that can be very  fun. Look it up if you want. I made some very good friends at furry cons, and through them I met other furry friends.
One of the friends I met at my first con was later my one of my roommates in Kansas. He was the first furry that I met. I miss him, He was the first person with whom I felt relaxed enough to roll around on a bed and laugh. It is great to have friends with whom I can relax enough to do that. He is a friend from whom I do not feel the need to hide anything.
When I tell people I am eclectic I am not exaggerating. I am a furry, an intellectual, a punk, a queer, an asshole, a nerd, a geek, a socialist, an existentialist, an agnostic trying hard to have faith, a feminist, an anti-racist sometimes skinhead, and a person with a very open mind. These are some of the things that make up who I am.