Fuck Big Brother

When I was looking for a job I went to several workshops on resume writing, interviewing, etc. Presenters often talked about being careful about what you post on Facebook, in blogs, on Twitter and in other places online. They advised Googling your own name to see what showed up. I listened to what they were saying at first. Then I started asking myself if I would really want to work for somebody who was that interested in what I would be doing outside of work. As long as what someone does online does not interfere with their work performance I do not see how it is any of the employer's business. I do not want to know what my boss does outside of work. I am not going to shove my opinions or what I do outside of work down the throats of my co-workers or employers, but I do not want to have to hide who I am. It seems that too many employers want to be Big Brother. I would think that employees would be more productive if they could focus on their jobs when they are at work and did not have to worry about whether or not what they post online may cause them to lose their jobs. I know that I do my best work when I am in an environment where that is the case. I am not going to hide who I am. If other people have a problem with that, fuck 'em.

How to be an effective Asshole

There is the saying that the squeaky wheel gets the oil, but in reality the wheel that squeaks too much gets replaced.
 As I said before being a Professional Asshole does not mean being an Asshole all of the time. Being quiet and cooperative does not mean letting people take advantage of you. This is a lesson I learned at a young age. When I was about seven or eight years old I had to take a cab to school. I remember hearing the dispatcher giving the driver the price for the ride (cabs in this town have flat fees not meters), but when we arrived at the school the driver tried to charge me more than the rate the dispatcher had given him. I guess they thought I would not say anything. They were mistaken. When I was in college my roommate worked for the school newspaper in charge of distribution. The editor of the paper was used to being able to intimidate people. One day she came to the room looking for my roommate. She tried to intimidate me in the way she did other people. I do not remember what I said to her, but she learned that I was not someone was not going to be treated in the way she did other people. The element of surprise helped in this situation.
Sometimes not giving in can be helpful when dealing with poor customer service, as it did with the cab drivers. When I was living in Greensboro, NC I would take the bus often. There was a driver who often leave stops earlier than the scheduled time. Once I had gone food shopping, and I had bought some frozen vegetables. I arrived at the bus stop before the bus was scheduled to leave, but it had already left. I called the transit office. After it was confirmed that my watch had the correct time the dispatcher apologized. I said that an apology was not enough because of the frozen foods that I had bought. It was a hot summer day. A supervisor came in a car, and he gave me a ride home from the shopping center. That driver no longer left stops early after that.
Sometimes it can be very easy to change the course of a conversation or to stop it altogether. When I was taking a course in conversational French the professor wanted to talk about the "generation gap." This was a topic that did not interest me at all. I simply asked her what defined a generation. I stated that in my generation of my family I had cousins who were twenty years older than I. Members of my own generation of my family had children who were close to me in age. She was not able to answer my question and another topic was chosen.
As has been made plain in earlier posts I do not have anything against profanity, but if it is overly used it can lose its effectiveness. Sometimes I enjoy the look of shock on the faces when I say fuck or other words that they do not expect me to say. The element of surprise is very effective.

Musings on Why I Like Some Things

I have had people suggest that I would like something (a book, music, film, etc.) simply because it was unusual. This is an assumption that I find annoying Whether or not I enjoy something is not dependent on whether or not it is unusual. There have been times when someone has brought something to my attention saying "You'll like this, it is strange," and I felt like saying, "What the fuck is this shit?" There are things that I like that are considered to be unusual by a lot of people, but they have a quality besides being unusual that attracts me to them. Some of the things I like are only consider unusual in some cultures and circles. There are singers that I like from other countries. They may be considered something other where I live, but in their own countries they would be thought of as mainstream. Sometimes I will enjoy something, and I am taken aback by comments of others that whatever it is is strange. I simply do not consider other people's opinions make an impact on whether or not I enjoy something. I do enjoy finding people with whom I can share things that I enjoy. I do enjoy finding people with whom I fit in, but I am not going to change who I am in order to do that. Most people will like some of the things that I do and hate some of the things that I like. That is something that can make life interesting. OK, that's enough for now.

Getting the Outside to Match the Inside

I touched on this when I wrote about working for a conservative. Usually I have chosen the clothes I wear or other aspects of my appearance to reflect who I am or how I feel. I do feel comfortable in a wide variety of styles of clothing. In the late 70s I was attracted to the "fuck the world" attitude of punk music. There has usually been a touch of the punk in my outward appearance since then. Some things are a combination of punk with other things. On my left thigh I have a tattoo of a barbed-wire cross. This is a combination of punk and Christian. At times I have worn a spiked leather collar. This started as punk statement. This later became a sign of my connection with furry fandom (more about this later). I stopped wearing that collar, because the leather started wearing out. I now wear a cloth collar with tags. The tags have my name and a reference to a special friend who means a lot to me. People ask me sometimes why I wear it. Sometimes I ask them why they don't wear one. Sometimes I say there is no reason, but I just want to wear it. How I answer the question depends on the situation and the questioner. I have a pair of boots with spikes on the toes. These were given to me by a younger punk friend. I enjoy wearing them from time to time.
I have enjoyed having different hair styles. During the 80s I would have my hair cut and dyed at a beauty school. For a few years I would have it dyed platinum blond with a blue streak somewhere. After a while when I went to get my hair done a group of students would form around where it was being done. They were curious what new thing I was going to have done. I usually have a buzz cut now, because I can do it at home myself. This saves money. I still may have the color changed again.
I have two tattoos in addition to the one mentioned above. One is a pink triangle (It has faded. and it no longer looks pink. I need to have it re-inked) inside a black heart. This combines the pink triangle of gay pride with the black heart used by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. The other is a lion. This was initially inspired by a tattoo that I saw in a photo of Brad Wilk, the drummer of Rage Against the Machine. There were designs for lion tattoos in the place where I had my tattoos and piercings done, but they were all smiling. I found one I liked, but I said I did not want the lion to be smiling. I have plans of getting more tattoos done.
I like wearing t-shirts that make some sort of statement. Sometimes it might be for a band or musician I like, Gogol Bordello, Social Distortion, Hank Williams III, etc. Some are meant to make people laugh or to piss them off. I have a few that Tucker Max sold on his website. "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell," "Assholes Finish First" and "What Would Tucker Do?" Some reflect things that mean something to me, gay rights or anti-racism for example. I wear some shirts to show people that their point of view is not the only one. For instance I sometimes wear a t-shirt with "Buddhist Atheist" on the front. I also have t-shirts for schools where friends had attended or have other personal attachment of some kind: Wichita State, Baker University, KU and NCSU. I became a fan of the University of Kansas after moving back to North Carolina. Sometimes I just wear a t-shirt as a way of saying, "Fuck you, I am who I am. If you don't like it I don't give a shit.

Overcoming insecurities about writing

I am working on overcoming my insecurities about my writing ability. There were times in the past that I let my self doubts get in the way of trying to get writings published. In a class in Latin-American Poetry I handed in a paper a month late. It was a paper comparing some Latin-American poets and some poets from Madagascar. When the professor read the paper he said that I should get it published, but I let my self doubts keep me from submitting it anywhere, Later when I got my nerve up enough to submit it I had lost the paper. This was in the day before personal computers were handy for keeping such things. The same professor later wanted me to translate some of his books from Spanish into French. I procrastinated too long because of insecurities. I had a teacher in high school who sometimes would give optional writing assignments. They were optional for everyone but me. He wanted me to write, because he said that I had talent. Even with that encouragement I was not very confident. I am working on overcoming that insecurity. So far writing this blog has helped my mood immensely as a means of self expression.

Random Memories of Incidents as a Pedestrian

The first few are from the years when I was living in Greensboro, North Carolina, from college through my early 30s. Once I was walking down the street and someone called me a dyke, and I had a mustache at the time. For a few years I would be whistled at by women driving trucks. Once I was walking along a walking path wearing a backpack. I was stopped by the police who said that people in the neighborhood thought I looked suspicious. I was not wearing anything unusual or doing anything unusual. They stopped me on a busy street and searched me on the sidewalk. Once I was walking close to the university, and a guy offered to pay me $4.00 to smoke a joint with him. I have enjoyed smoking from time to time, but this just seemed a bit too odd even for me. For a period of time I wore bright colors and sometimes strands of beads. Once I was going down the street wearing such attire, I don't remember whether or not I was wearing beads. A fire truck went by with sirens on, and most, if not all, of the firemen turned and looked at me. Usually it is the other way around. Once I was walking by some road work downtown, and one of the guys working asked if I cared for some good sex. I was tempted to say either that I was or to ask him where I could find some. I have regretted since then that I just acted like I did not hear him and continued walking down the street.

When I was in Prague I had two straight roommates. They complained that the women there never paid attention to them. When I walked anywhere I often had women smile and wave at me. They were younger and better-looking than I, yet I was the one who got attention from women on the street.

One of the things I liked about Lawrence, Kansas was the friendliness of the people. A lot of times when I would walk anywhere people driving would honk their horns and wave. Almost always people I did not know, but it made me feel welcome in that city.

The Arrogance of the Ignorant.

Why is it that the biggest idiots think they know everything? Usually I try to avoid dealing with people like that as much as possible, either that or piss them off enough that they stay away from me. Usually pissing them off does not take much effort. A lot of times just questioning ideas that they hold dear is enough to make them keep their distance. Such is the arrogance of the ignorant. The most intelligent people never stop learning, and I have not yet met a truly intelligent person who was arrogant. There are different kinds of intelligence. I am not putting down people who are not seen as intelligent according to society's norms. The people for whom I do not have tolerance are those who act smug and look down on others. To be honest though I have sometimes wanted to slap their smug looks off of their faces, but I realize that it would only make me look bad. I have to remember not to let them make me as miserable as they are.