An Update with Adult Content at 15:41 (Updated)

I am relieved to find out that a friend will slap the shit out of me if I try any addictive drugs. I have a fear of getting addicted to any drugs anyway, and this will be an added incentive to stay away from these things. I would also lose his friendship, and I would definitely not want to do that. I spent some time with him, and I enjoyed that. He would not spank me as a form of punishment, because he knows that I would enjoy that. I also like pleasing him. I have been his urinal at times, and I want to be his cum dump as well.

I found out that a handsome friend is bi. I will not make any moves on him, but I will let him know that I would be willing to give him a blow job if he wants. I may have the opportunity to play with another friend, but if we do it will have to remain secret.

I have some straight friends who know that I think that they are sexy, but they know that I would never try to initiate anything sexual with them. I am much too submissive for that. I enjoy being submissive, and I do enjoy having men tell me what to do even if there is no sex involved.

A young straight friend was hinting that he wants me to give him money for sex. I would be glad to do that if I had money, but I am broke now.

"A Little Learning: An Autobiography by Evelyn Waugh"

I made an attempt to read A Little Learning: An Autobiography by Evelyn Waugh. I am glad that I did not have to pay for this book. I just wish that I had not wasted my time reading what I did of the book. I should not have ignored his statement where he said that he was easily bored. People who are easily bored are usually boring. I will not waste any more time on this book.

A Fear I Have

One of the things about which I have to be careful is to keep myself from being tempted with street drugs. I have tried to stay away from them, because I know that I could easily become an addict and lose everything that I have. I did have a taste of something that I should not have tried. The main effects were a heavy heart beat and not sleeping well that night. I do not think that I want to try that again. I have friends who are addicts. Mostly they do not try to get me to try anything. I do wish that marijuana was illegal throughout this country. I have an addictive personality, so I have to be careful.

"The Sojourn" by Andrew Krivak

The Sojourn by Andrew Krivak is a novel about the son born to Slovak immigrants in Colorado. After some tragedies he and his father return to what was then the Austro-Hungarian Empire. He ends up fighting in World War I. It tells of his life before, during and after the war. He lives for a time in the newly formed Czechoslovakia. It is a very moving novel. The author has also written a book of memoirs. This book is a well-written book. There are very likable characters, and some characters who are not very likable. Prejudices are also a theme, one of these prejudices is that against Gypsies. This is another book that I highly recommend.

Kinky Stuff

I have written about a friend pissing in my mouth. One day I was with him and one of his straight friends. He asked me if he could tell his friend about my fetish. I gave him permission to do that. He also told his frend what we had done. He told him how good I was at drinking it. It was a turnon for me to have him tell his friend what we had done. I am proud of my cocksucking skills, and it turns me on when friends tell their friends how good I can make them feel. I also love sucking cock in front of one, two or more men.

Random Update

I have been neglecting my study of the Slovak language, so I had a dream that was a brief lesson of that language. I also had a dream in French the same night. I would love to be able to travel around Europe and taste cocks in different countries. Of course I would want to learn languages and meet people in those countries. I might need knee pads though. I have been sucking cock recently, but I have not been able to see my Master lately. I miss him. I will be glad when we are living in the same house again. I would gladly suck only him if that is what he wants.

Bol som zanedbával svoju štúdiu o slovenskom jazyku, takže som mal sen, že bol krátky poučenie z tohto jazyka. Tiež som mal sen vo francúzštine rovnakú noc. Bol by som rád, aby mohli cestovať po Európe a chuť kohútiky v rôznych krajinách. Samozrejme by som chcel učiť sa jazyky a stretnúť sa s ľuďmi v týchto krajinách. Mohol by som aj keď potrebujem kolien. Bol som sania vtáka v poslednej dobe, ale ja som nebol schopný vidieť môj pán v poslednej dobe. Chýba mi. Budem rád, keď žijeme v rovnakom dome znova. Bol by som rád sať ho len v prípade, že je to, čo chce.

Я пренебрегал мое изучение словацкого языка, так что у меня был сон, который был краткий урок этого языка. У меня тоже был сон на французском языке в ту же ночь. Я хотел бы, чтобы иметь возможность путешествовать по Европе и вкус петухи в разных странах. Конечно, я хотел бы изучать языки и встречаться с людьми в этих странах. Я, возможно, потребуется наколенники, хотя. Я сосать хуй в последнее время, но я не смог увидеть своего Учителя в последнее время. Я скучаю по нему. Я буду рад, когда мы опять живем в одном доме. Я бы с удовольствием сосут только его, если это то, что он хочет.

J'ai négligé mon étude de la langue slovaque, donc j'ai eu un rêve qui a été une brève leçon de cette langue. J'ai aussi eu un rêve en français la même nuit. J'aimerais pouvoir voyager autour de l'Europe et goûter les coqs dans différents pays. Bien sûr, je voudrais apprendre des langues et rencontrer des gens dans ces pays. Je pourrais avoir besoin de genouillères cependant. J'ai été sucer cock récemment, mais je n'ai pas été en mesure de voir mon maître récemment. Il me manque. Je serai heureux quand nous vivons dans la même maison encore. Je serais content de le sucer seulement si c'est ce qu'il veut.

2 More Books

Metaphors Be with You: An a-to-z dictionary of history's greatest metaphorical quotations  was compiled by Dr. Mardy Grothe. There are some gems in this book, but I would not include many of the quotations in this book among the "greatest metaphorical quotations. There are some that are not metaphorical. Many of the quotations may fit the lives of a few people, but they are not universal. Many people think that our own personal experiences reflect universal truths. Many of the statements here reflect this point of view. One can find some inspiration here though.

When the Moon Is Low by Nadia Hashimi is the story of an Aghan woman's life and her flight from Afghanistan to England. It paints a very vivid picture of what can happen to people who have to leave their home countries and become refugees. This book gives a better understanding of the lives of refugees than we can get from news stories. I was profoundly moved by this novel. Its author is the daughter of a couple who left Afghanistan to come to the USA in the early 1970s. Now I want to read her debut novel, The Pearl that Broke its Shell. I highly recommend this book. Any words I may use to write about this book pale in comparison with what you will gain through reading it.

Two more books

The Faiths of the Postwar Presidents: From Truman to Obama: It is rather obvious what this book concerns. It was written by David L. Holmes. I definitely learned some things from this well-written book. My views of these presidents were not changed. I have never been especially fond of Billy Graham, but I like him less after reading this book. He has been too supportive of conservative presidents. He claims to want to stay out of politics, but he has not always done that. The actions of some of the presidents did not reflect what they claimed to believe. Some people have claimed that the author's point of view is balanced, but I cannot completely agree with that. I still think it is a worthwhile book.

The Scenic Route: Life on the Road Between Hope and Paradise by Sandy Compton is a collection of what the author considers his best columns that he wrote for a free newspaper The River Journal. The paper is published in Clark Fork, Idaho. The pieces published in this book are entertaining. It could use some editing. (I know that my posts here could use some editing too.) I enjoy the pieces where the author writes about himself and his family the most. This would be a good book to read in a cabin with a fire in the fireplace and while drinking a craft beer.

More Childhood Memories

I vaguely remember seeing a television program on homosexuality. I was quite young at the time. The main thing that I remember is that after seeing this program I thought that a mixed marriage was when a man and a woman married each other. I do not know where I got this idea, but I was confused about people getting upset about mixed marriages. I am still confused about this but for different reasons. As a child I was never afraid to be open about the things that I enjoyed. I was often bullied for this. At times when a teacher asked if the members enjoyed a certain movie or book or something I would often be the only one to raise my hand. I was a late bloomer sexually, and I was not very open about that area of my life. I did know at a young boy that I was attracted to other boys, but I did not know what to do about this. I did have a friend who taught me how to masturbate, but we did not do anything with each other after that. We did not touch each other's dicks. I never considered trying to fit in with other children my age if this meant changing my likes or dislikes. I was always smaller than the other children my age, and that did not help with the bullying problem. The books that I remember as my favorites were Madeline by Bemelmans and a satirical history of hairstyles. The school librarian later set aside another book about hairstyles, but I did not enjoy it as much. I was raised being told to be myself and not what other people wanted me to be.

Childhood Memories

It seems that I have very few memories of my childhood. There are very few photos of me as a child. There are no photographs of me before the age of two. I do have some happy memories from my childhood. I remember once sitting in mt Grandmother's lap and reading a book. This was a rare occurrence. I know that she loved me, but she was not an affectionate person. We always called her "Grandmother." I remember going on fishing trips with my Father. I do not remember much of these trips, but I believe that I enjoyed them. I never watched horror movies. I thought that they were beneath me. My strongest memories are about being afraid to displease my Father. He was a perfectionist. I remember once when I was playing with a yoyo he said that I was not doing it correctly. It was not possible to have a relaxed conversation with him. He would pounce on any grammatical mistakes. I remember playing softball with one of my sisters. I went with my oldest sister to a couple of films when she was in high school. I do not remember being enthusiastic as a child. I only remember that my it was not encouraged. Once I started to go outside with my shirt unbuttoned. My mother made me button my shirt. I have since started to open up, especially sexually, but that has taken a long time. Mostly I was encouraged to read, but I was not given as much freedom as many children are. My Mother was overly protective, and as a result I had to overcome many fears. She often was afraid that I would get hurt. I do not want to dwell on negative things from the past. I only want to consider them and let them go.

More Books

Here are some more books that I read recently.

I am Malala: The Girl who Stood up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban by Malala Yousafzai and Christina Lamb is truly a tale of courage. Some people in Pakistan say that her fight for the education of girls and women shows a western influence. I do not think that this is true. She is speaking out against what she sees as a misuse of the Quran. She wrote that nowhere in the Quran does it say that women should not be educated or that women should be submissive to men. Malala's father founded schools where boys and girls were educated. He spoke out against extremist Muslim organizations. At the age of 11 Malala wrote a journal telling about the situation in Pakistan. She used a pseudonym when writing this journal. She later started using her real name when speaking out. The Taliban wanted to silence her, and she was shot by someone in this organization. Instead of silencing her they gave her a larger audience for what she was saying. She continues to fight for the causes that are important to her. This is a book from which we can all learn.

Naked Genius by George Moses Horton is a book of poems that was published in 1865. George Moss Horton was born a slave in North Carolina in the late 1790s. He taught himself to read using spelling books. This was his third book of poems. At times he made money writing poems for students at the university in Chapel Hill to give to their girlfriends. He remained a slave until after the end of the Civil War. In later years he supported himself by writing for Sunday School publications. This book was published to demonstrate that "God, in his infinite wisdom and mercy, created the black man for a higher and nobler purpose than to toil his life away under the galling yoke of slavery." It is a shame that so little attention is given to the life and writings of this writer.

A Renaissance in Harlem: Lost Voices of an American Community is a collection of writings that was edited by Lionel C. Bascom. There are essays by Ralph Ellison, Frank Byrd, Vivian Morris, Dorothy West and others. The writers of the essays were employed by the Work Projects Administration. The writings were forgotten for a number of years. These essays deal with what really happened in Harlem during the "Harlem Renaissance" as opposed to what was seen by the white people who frequented the night clubs of Harlem. According to the book's dust jacket African Americans of the time stopped writing for members of their own community and started writing to entertain a largely white audience. They started omitting things that would offend this audience. This is a collection of well-written essays that are entertaining and educational.

The Whistler's Room: stories and essays is a collection of writings by Richard Selzer, a physician who became a writer after retiring as a surgeon. The title piece is a retelling of a novella by a German writer, Paul Alverdes. The original novella was published in 1929. It is about three soldiers who "Each had been shot in the throat and sustained a more or less identical wound, destruction of the larynx." The author of this adaptation said that he wanted to adapt the novella for a modern audience. I would like to be able to read the original version of the novella. There seems to be a hint that at least one of the characters may have been gay. This adaptation is tender and moving. In this book there are lectures on art, painting and sculptures. I do not agree with all of the author's views of the pieces of art about which he wrote, but I do enjoy his style. There are also selections from Selzer's diaries from journeys to cities in Italy. Other topics include birdwatching, writing and the Bible. Reading this book was time well spent.

The Perfect Wave:With Neutrinos at the Boundary of Space and Time  by Heinrich Päs is definitely an entertaining and educational book. I will read it again in order to get a better understanding of the subject. My knowledge of physics is not strong enough to fully grasp it after one reading. There are a couple of statements that stood out for me. (1) "Our universe is a weird place." (2) "Actually, nobody has the faintest clue what time really is."Time travel, "extra dimensions," string theory and neutrinos, of course, are among the topics of this book. Learning about physics can be fun.

An Update for 12/1/2017

Hopefully I will be moving into my new home in four weeks. I lived in this house before the fire. I am definitely looking forward to moving into the dungeon. I will be happy to be able able to please someone on a regular basis. I hope that I will be eble to see my young friend occasionally, but I will not have as much money to give him. Paying rent will have a higher priority. I will swallow cum and pee more regularly. I would love to be able to please them both. Maybe I will be able to play with both of them together some day. I know that I can make my Master feel very good. Doing that makes me feel very good. I will not be able to see my friends on the street as often, and I will miss them. I am getting excited about the move.

Dilemma concerning giving head and other things

There are some times when I just want to give a man a blow job or to give him everything he wants, and there are times that I want to be wanted for more than my skills at fellatio or for the little money that I want. I am proud of my talent for please a man sexually, but I also want to a relationship with someone who stimulates my intellect and imagination as well. My Master is very good at doing those things. There is a young man who claims to love me, but I know that he is mainly interested in getting money from me. I enjoy that, but I need to be sure that I have enough money to take care of my own needs. I hope that he will let me give him some sexual pleasure soon. Recently he told a friend about the time that he pissed in my mouth. I will be glad when I move into the dungeon that will soon be my home. I am not yet where I want to be, but I am on my way. I am glad that I have been able to please my Master more often. Perhaps I will be able to please him and my young friend too. If my Master wants to be the only one whom I please I will be happy to obey him. The question concerns whether or not I can stop being a total slut. You will be able to read the answer to that question here some day...maybe.