I love sucking cock, but sucking cock for three hours can be tiring. If a guy has taken a drug that makes it hard for him to cum I think that it would be considerate for him to let me rest from time to time. If someone does not let me rest the quality of the blow job is going to decrease. I love making a man feel great, but unless I am on something I cannot do it well that long. I enjoy sucking cock for hours, but I feel bad when I cannot give a man my best, and I cannot do that when I am overly tired. For me pleasing the man I am with is top priority though.
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
X: A Novel by Ilyasah Shabazz, Daughter of Malcolm X, with Kekla Magoon
I found this book, X: A Novel by Ilyasah Shabazz, daugheter of Malcolm X, with Kekla Magoon when looking in the library where I use the computer for a book to read. This book is based on the life of the author's life up to when he is released from prison. Conversations are fictional and people are combined or added. The basic story is fact based. I recommend this book. I learned more about Malcolm X's life and family. I intend to reread The Autobiography of Malcolm X. Why is so little said about the Organization of Afro-American Unity now? People tend to talk about Malcolm X (or El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz) being racist and an extremist. This is an inaccurate portrayal. I prefer to focus on what he did after he became a leader in the Civil Rights Movement, but it is helpful to learn about his family background and his personal story. It is time for Malcolm X Day to become a national holiday.
Monday, June 26, 2017
Changes Are Needed in the USA
The Democrats talk about improving healthcare in the USA, but they do nothing about the high cost of healthcare. They only talk about insurance for everybody. Even with insurance many necessary tests are too expensive. Many medicines are too costly. Yes, many people have insurance when they could not have it before. Many people still cannot get insurance. The healthcare system in the USA is still completely fucked up.
Elected officials in this country receive pensions that are much too big. Many elected officials say that social programs are a drain on the economy. These pensions are a much bigger drain.
The healthcare system, the electoral system and the government of this country need to be completely overhauled.
Elected officials in this country receive pensions that are much too big. Many elected officials say that social programs are a drain on the economy. These pensions are a much bigger drain.
The healthcare system, the electoral system and the government of this country need to be completely overhauled.
Saturday, June 24, 2017
More on my Birthday
A special friend came to my place with food which he cooked for me, yummy chicken and mixed vegetables. We slept together in my bed. He says that I don't share anything about myself with him, but he will never let me talk long enough to do that. I seem to attract people who tell me all about themselves but won't listen to what I have to say about myself. I like to listen to them, but I need someone who will listen to me. I want to be a supportive friend, but I need friends who will be there for me too. People say that I should let go of things from my past, but that is easier to do when I have talked about them. It did help that this friend cooked this meal for me. I love him, and I know that he loves me. I don't know where our relationship is going, but I am happy to have him in my life. The other night I sucked his dick for three hours. I love sucking his cock, and he is very good at sucking cock.
Ein besonderer Freund kam zu mir mit dem Essen, das er für mich gekocht hat, leckeres Huhn und gemischtes Gemüse. Wir schliefen zusammen in meinem Bett. Er sagt, dass ich nichts über mich selbst mit ihm teilen, aber er wird mich nie lange reden lassen, um das zu tun. Ich scheine Leute zu gewinnen, die mir alles über sich selbst erzählen, aber nicht hören, was ich über mich selbst sagen muss. Ich höre ihnen gern zu, aber ich brauche jemanden, der mir zuhören wird. Ich möchte ein unterstützender Freund sein, aber ich brauche Freunde, die auch für mich da sein werden. Die Leute sagen, dass ich die Dinge aus meiner Vergangenheit loslassen sollte, aber das ist leichter zu tun, wenn ich über sie gesprochen habe. Es hat dazu beigetragen, dass dieser Freund diese Mahlzeit für mich gekocht hat. Ich liebe ihn, und ich weiß, dass er mich liebt. Ich weiß nicht, wo unsere Beziehung geht, aber ich bin glücklich, ihn in meinem Leben zu haben. Die andere Nacht lutschte ich seinen Schwanz für drei Stunden. Ich liebe es, seinen Schwanz zu saugen, und er ist sehr gut am Saugen Hahn.
На мой место пришел специальный друг с едой, которую он приготовил для меня, вкусной курицей и смешанными овощами. Мы спали вместе в моей постели. Он говорит, что я ничего не рассказываю о себе, но он никогда не позволит мне говорить достаточно долго, чтобы это сделать. Кажется, я привлекаю людей, которые рассказывают мне все о себе, но не будут слушать, что я могу сказать о себе. Мне нравится их слушать, но мне нужен тот, кто будет слушать меня. Я хочу быть дружеским другом, но мне нужны друзья, которые тоже будут там. Люди говорят, что я должен отпустить вещи из своего прошлого, но это легче сделать, когда я говорил о них. Это помогло, что этот друг приготовил эту еду для меня. Я люблю его, и я знаю, что он любит меня. Я не знаю, куда идут наши отношения, но я счастлив, что он был в моей жизни. В ту ночь я сосал его член в течение трех часов. Мне нравится сосать его член, и он очень хорош в сосании петуха.
Špeciálny priateľ prišiel na moje miesto s jedlom, ktoré si pre mňa pripravil, báječné kuracie mäso a zmiešaná zelenina. Spali sme spolu v mojej posteli. Hovorí, že s ním nič spoločne nehovorím, ale nikdy mi nedovolí hovoriť dosť dlho, aby to urobil. Zdá sa, že priťahujem ľudí, ktorí mi o sebe všetko hovoria, ale nebudú počúvať to, čo musím povedať o sebe. Rád ich počúvam, ale potrebujem niekoho, kto ma počúva. Chcem byť priaznivým priateľom, ale potrebujem priateľov, ktorí tam budú aj pre mňa. Ľudia hovoria, že by som mal dať veci z mojej minulosti, ale to je ľahšie, keď som o nich hovoril. To pomohlo, že tento priateľ pripravil toto jedlo pre mňa. Milujem ho a viem, že ma miluje. Neviem, kde sa deje náš vzťah, ale som rád, že ho mám v živote. Druhá noc som si nasiakala svoj penis tri hodiny. Mám rád sania jeho penis, a on je veľmi dobrý pri sania kohúta.
Особливий приятель прийшов на моє місце з їжею, яку він приготував для мене, смажена курка і змішані овочі. Ми спали разом у моєму ліжку. Він каже, що я не поділяю нічого з ним, але він ніколи не дозволить мені говорити досить довго, щоб це зробити. Я, схоже, залучаю людей, які розповідають мені все про себе, але не будуть слухати те, що я маю сказати про себе. Я люблю слухати їх, але мені потрібен той, хто мене послухає. Я хочу бути прихильником, але мені потрібні друзі, які також будуть для мене. Люди кажуть, що я повинен відпустити речі з мого минулого, але це легше зробити, коли я про них говорив. Це допомогло, щоб цей друг приготував цю страву для мене. Я люблю його, і я знаю, що він мене любить. Я не знаю, де йдуть наші стосунки, але я радий, що він у своєму житті. Іншою ніч я смоктати його член протягом трьох годин. Я люблю смоктати його член, і він дуже добре в смокче півень.
Ein besonderer Freund kam zu mir mit dem Essen, das er für mich gekocht hat, leckeres Huhn und gemischtes Gemüse. Wir schliefen zusammen in meinem Bett. Er sagt, dass ich nichts über mich selbst mit ihm teilen, aber er wird mich nie lange reden lassen, um das zu tun. Ich scheine Leute zu gewinnen, die mir alles über sich selbst erzählen, aber nicht hören, was ich über mich selbst sagen muss. Ich höre ihnen gern zu, aber ich brauche jemanden, der mir zuhören wird. Ich möchte ein unterstützender Freund sein, aber ich brauche Freunde, die auch für mich da sein werden. Die Leute sagen, dass ich die Dinge aus meiner Vergangenheit loslassen sollte, aber das ist leichter zu tun, wenn ich über sie gesprochen habe. Es hat dazu beigetragen, dass dieser Freund diese Mahlzeit für mich gekocht hat. Ich liebe ihn, und ich weiß, dass er mich liebt. Ich weiß nicht, wo unsere Beziehung geht, aber ich bin glücklich, ihn in meinem Leben zu haben. Die andere Nacht lutschte ich seinen Schwanz für drei Stunden. Ich liebe es, seinen Schwanz zu saugen, und er ist sehr gut am Saugen Hahn.
На мой место пришел специальный друг с едой, которую он приготовил для меня, вкусной курицей и смешанными овощами. Мы спали вместе в моей постели. Он говорит, что я ничего не рассказываю о себе, но он никогда не позволит мне говорить достаточно долго, чтобы это сделать. Кажется, я привлекаю людей, которые рассказывают мне все о себе, но не будут слушать, что я могу сказать о себе. Мне нравится их слушать, но мне нужен тот, кто будет слушать меня. Я хочу быть дружеским другом, но мне нужны друзья, которые тоже будут там. Люди говорят, что я должен отпустить вещи из своего прошлого, но это легче сделать, когда я говорил о них. Это помогло, что этот друг приготовил эту еду для меня. Я люблю его, и я знаю, что он любит меня. Я не знаю, куда идут наши отношения, но я счастлив, что он был в моей жизни. В ту ночь я сосал его член в течение трех часов. Мне нравится сосать его член, и он очень хорош в сосании петуха.
Špeciálny priateľ prišiel na moje miesto s jedlom, ktoré si pre mňa pripravil, báječné kuracie mäso a zmiešaná zelenina. Spali sme spolu v mojej posteli. Hovorí, že s ním nič spoločne nehovorím, ale nikdy mi nedovolí hovoriť dosť dlho, aby to urobil. Zdá sa, že priťahujem ľudí, ktorí mi o sebe všetko hovoria, ale nebudú počúvať to, čo musím povedať o sebe. Rád ich počúvam, ale potrebujem niekoho, kto ma počúva. Chcem byť priaznivým priateľom, ale potrebujem priateľov, ktorí tam budú aj pre mňa. Ľudia hovoria, že by som mal dať veci z mojej minulosti, ale to je ľahšie, keď som o nich hovoril. To pomohlo, že tento priateľ pripravil toto jedlo pre mňa. Milujem ho a viem, že ma miluje. Neviem, kde sa deje náš vzťah, ale som rád, že ho mám v živote. Druhá noc som si nasiakala svoj penis tri hodiny. Mám rád sania jeho penis, a on je veľmi dobrý pri sania kohúta.
Особливий приятель прийшов на моє місце з їжею, яку він приготував для мене, смажена курка і змішані овочі. Ми спали разом у моєму ліжку. Він каже, що я не поділяю нічого з ним, але він ніколи не дозволить мені говорити досить довго, щоб це зробити. Я, схоже, залучаю людей, які розповідають мені все про себе, але не будуть слухати те, що я маю сказати про себе. Я люблю слухати їх, але мені потрібен той, хто мене послухає. Я хочу бути прихильником, але мені потрібні друзі, які також будуть для мене. Люди кажуть, що я повинен відпустити речі з мого минулого, але це легше зробити, коли я про них говорив. Це допомогло, щоб цей друг приготував цю страву для мене. Я люблю його, і я знаю, що він мене любить. Я не знаю, де йдуть наші стосунки, але я радий, що він у своєму житті. Іншою ніч я смоктати його член протягом трьох годин. Я люблю смоктати його член, і він дуже добре в смокче півень.
Friday, June 23, 2017
"Ghost of a Flea" by James Sallis
The main character of Ghost of a Flea had been a detective, but this is not a detective novel. There are parts of this novel that I like very much, and there are parts that could have been eliminated. In the latter parts there are extended quotations from books and references to writers and artists that could be considered obscure. The narration is first person, and people in the book say that he uses quotations too much in his books. The other parts of the book are very original and entertaining, I would like to find other books by this author. I hope that he was able to be more confident in his own imagination instead of hiding behind quotations.
Another Birthday
My Birthday started out well, but it has been lonely since early morning. When I got home a friend was waiting in his car in the driveway. We had a few beers, and sucked his cock for a long time. He was not able to cum though. We both had fun though. I hope that I see him tonight before I go to bed. Hopefully I will get some cum from him the next time I see him.
I am used to being alone on my birthday. I don't know why I am more likely to be alone on my Birthday and holidays than I am on other days. I have occasionally been able to suck some cock on Thanksgiving. I just wish there were people who were willing to spend these special days with me. Oh well.
It is hard to believe that this I turned 58 today. I may be getting older, but I am getting more radical too.
I am used to being alone on my birthday. I don't know why I am more likely to be alone on my Birthday and holidays than I am on other days. I have occasionally been able to suck some cock on Thanksgiving. I just wish there were people who were willing to spend these special days with me. Oh well.
It is hard to believe that this I turned 58 today. I may be getting older, but I am getting more radical too.
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
Why Spread Vanilla Rumors When The Truth Is More Colorful?
There are people at my church who spread rumors about me or exaggerate things that they know about me. I don't know why they spread untrue things about me when what I tell about myself is more interesting than what they say about me. Why tell untruths that are not really very interesting when the truth is more colorful? Why would someone say that I am dating someone who is just a friend? I write about water sports here. I write about having multiple sex partners. I write about drug use here. Why spread vanilla rumors when I reveal things that are far from vanilla?
У моїй церкві є люди, які поширюють чутки про мене або перебільшують речі, які вони знають про мене. Я не знаю, чому вони розповсюджують неправдиві речі про мене, коли те, що я розповідаю про себе, цікавіше, ніж те, що вони говорять про мене. Чому висловлювати неправди, які насправді не дуже цікаві, коли правда більш барвиста? Чому хтось каже, що я знайомлюся з тим, хто просто друг? Я пишу про водні види спорту тут. Я пишу про кілька статевих партнерів. Я пишу про споживання наркотиків тут. Навіщо розповсюджувати ванільні чутки, коли я відкриваю речі, які далеко від ванілі?
В моей церкви есть люди, которые распространяют слухи обо мне или преувеличивают то, что они знают обо мне. Я не знаю, почему они распространяют ложные вещи обо мне, когда то, что я рассказываю о себе, более интересно, чем то, что они говорят обо мне. Зачем говорить неправды, которые на самом деле не очень интересны, когда правда более яркая? Почему кто-то скажет, что я встречаюсь с кем-то, кто просто друг? Здесь я пишу о водных видах спорта. Я пишу о наличии нескольких сексуальных партнеров. Я пишу об употреблении наркотиков здесь. Зачем распространять слухи о ванили, когда я раскрываю вещи, которые далеки от ванили?
Es gibt Leute in meiner Kirche, die Gerüchte über mich verbreiten oder Dinge übertreiben, die sie über mich kennen. Ich weiß nicht, warum sie sich über mich aussprechen, wenn das, was ich über mich erzähle, interessanter ist als das, was sie über mich sagen. Warum sagen wir Unwahrheiten, die nicht wirklich sehr interessant sind, wenn die Wahrheit bunter ist? Warum sollte jemand sagen, dass ich jemanden bin, der nur ein Freund ist? Ich schreibe hier über Wassersport. Ich schreibe über mehrere Sexpartner. Ich schreibe hier über Drogenkonsum. Warum verbreite ich Vanille-Gerüchte, wenn ich Dinge offenbaren, die weit von Vanille entfernt sind?
У моїй церкві є люди, які поширюють чутки про мене або перебільшують речі, які вони знають про мене. Я не знаю, чому вони розповсюджують неправдиві речі про мене, коли те, що я розповідаю про себе, цікавіше, ніж те, що вони говорять про мене. Чому висловлювати неправди, які насправді не дуже цікаві, коли правда більш барвиста? Чому хтось каже, що я знайомлюся з тим, хто просто друг? Я пишу про водні види спорту тут. Я пишу про кілька статевих партнерів. Я пишу про споживання наркотиків тут. Навіщо розповсюджувати ванільні чутки, коли я відкриваю речі, які далеко від ванілі?
В моей церкви есть люди, которые распространяют слухи обо мне или преувеличивают то, что они знают обо мне. Я не знаю, почему они распространяют ложные вещи обо мне, когда то, что я рассказываю о себе, более интересно, чем то, что они говорят обо мне. Зачем говорить неправды, которые на самом деле не очень интересны, когда правда более яркая? Почему кто-то скажет, что я встречаюсь с кем-то, кто просто друг? Здесь я пишу о водных видах спорта. Я пишу о наличии нескольких сексуальных партнеров. Я пишу об употреблении наркотиков здесь. Зачем распространять слухи о ванили, когда я раскрываю вещи, которые далеки от ванили?
Es gibt Leute in meiner Kirche, die Gerüchte über mich verbreiten oder Dinge übertreiben, die sie über mich kennen. Ich weiß nicht, warum sie sich über mich aussprechen, wenn das, was ich über mich erzähle, interessanter ist als das, was sie über mich sagen. Warum sagen wir Unwahrheiten, die nicht wirklich sehr interessant sind, wenn die Wahrheit bunter ist? Warum sollte jemand sagen, dass ich jemanden bin, der nur ein Freund ist? Ich schreibe hier über Wassersport. Ich schreibe über mehrere Sexpartner. Ich schreibe hier über Drogenkonsum. Warum verbreite ich Vanille-Gerüchte, wenn ich Dinge offenbaren, die weit von Vanille entfernt sind?
Monday, June 19, 2017
16:35 19/6/17
I got tested for HIV, Hep C and STI's earlier this month, and everything was negative. I am going to be tested again tomorrow, because I did something that I should not have done. I just want to be sure. Some things should not be shared. I knew this, but my brain was not functioning fully. I will have to be sure that I do not make the same mistake. I should not do some things whether or not it involves sharing.
My bed still smells like my friend, and I get an erection when I get in bed. I have to masturbate before I can go to sleep. The scent will not last forever, so I will enjoy it while it lasts. I have a pair of his dirty socks in a zippable bag, so their scent will last longer. He knows that I jerk off while smelling them.
On Saturday I swallowed cum from two special men in my life.
I am continuing my job search. I have not heard anything yet, but I am not giving up.
My bed still smells like my friend, and I get an erection when I get in bed. I have to masturbate before I can go to sleep. The scent will not last forever, so I will enjoy it while it lasts. I have a pair of his dirty socks in a zippable bag, so their scent will last longer. He knows that I jerk off while smelling them.
On Saturday I swallowed cum from two special men in my life.
I am continuing my job search. I have not heard anything yet, but I am not giving up.
Saturday, June 17, 2017
The Scent of a Man Can Be a Big Turn On
It is interesting to me that the body odor of some men really turns me on while I do not like the body odor of others. I have a friend whose scent really turns me on. I can sniff his dirty socks and shoot a big loads when I am masturbating. Maybe some day he will let me suck on and lick his dirty feet. He slept in my bed last night without having taken a shower. I may not wash them when Io do laundry later today. I may just see how long his scent remains there. I probably will have to jerk off before I can sleep in them. Maybe he will be in my bed again soon.
Friday, June 16, 2017
Secrets and Lies
There is one thing that scares me about myself. That is the ease with which I can tell lies. I have not told any lies here, but there are some secrets which I will not reveal here. I can look at someone and say something that is completely untrue. I only do this to protect those whom I love. I sometimes do this to protect myself. I do not tell lies that would hurt anyone. Some of the secrets that I keep can be a burden to keep sometimes, but I do not want to do anything to hurt anyone. Sometimes it is better to bear a burden that to say or do things that would hurt others. There are some people to whom I have never lied. I believe in being open and honest, but this is not always the right thing to do.
Thursday, June 15, 2017
15-6-17 15:16
I have been filling out job applications online. I need to update my resume. I will go to some temp agencies. Most of my interview clothes no longer fit. I have lost weight.
It may be time for me to leave my church. It is not an easy decision to make, but it may be the right decision to make. I have some friends there, and I do not want to lose their friendship. Some of the friends that I have want me to do drugs with them. It scares me some that the people who want me around are into drugs to such an extent. I have to be careful and protect myself. I want friends, but I cannot endanger myself.
I will have to consider these things before making any decisions.
It may be time for me to leave my church. It is not an easy decision to make, but it may be the right decision to make. I have some friends there, and I do not want to lose their friendship. Some of the friends that I have want me to do drugs with them. It scares me some that the people who want me around are into drugs to such an extent. I have to be careful and protect myself. I want friends, but I cannot endanger myself.
I will have to consider these things before making any decisions.
Wednesday, June 14, 2017
I Am Rambling Again
I wish I could stay at the job I have now, but I need to have a steady income. I have started looking for another job. I tend to have more success in finding employment when I work with temp services. I am a good worker, but find job hunting stressful. I need to get new clothes that would be suitable for job hunting.
I have to remember that I cannot depend on other people to make me happy. If I am not happy with myself no one else can make me happy. Mostly I think that I am happy with myself. I also need to make sure that I eat enough. Not eating enough has a very real effect on my mood. When I am depressed I do not eat enough, and this makes me more depressed. It is a downward spiral that only I can stop. I am working on that.
I am happy with who I am. I will find the balance that I need in my life. Who knows if that will involve occasional sex with friends and occasional drug use. I do not want to indulge self destructive behavior. I may be a slut, but I am happy being a slut.
I have to remember that I cannot depend on other people to make me happy. If I am not happy with myself no one else can make me happy. Mostly I think that I am happy with myself. I also need to make sure that I eat enough. Not eating enough has a very real effect on my mood. When I am depressed I do not eat enough, and this makes me more depressed. It is a downward spiral that only I can stop. I am working on that.
I am happy with who I am. I will find the balance that I need in my life. Who knows if that will involve occasional sex with friends and occasional drug use. I do not want to indulge self destructive behavior. I may be a slut, but I am happy being a slut.
Tuesday, June 13, 2017
Руслана - Her Music Helps My Mood
I am listening to Руслана. Her music lifts my mood. "Dance with the Wolves" is one of my favorite songs. I love the video. It has beautiful wolves and sexy men. In the videos that I have seen for her songs there are people who would appeal to men and women. Her songs make me want to dance. I would love to see her in concert especially if I could see her in Ukraine.
Тимати is someone else whose music I like very much.. He is another sexy man.
Russian and French reggae are the only reggae to which I listen. Аддис-Абеба is one of my favorites. I cannot remember the names of the other Russian reggae musicians, and I am too lazy right now to look them up. There is one song with a humorous video, "Legalize it."
I wish I could listen to my CDs by Григорий Лепс and Александр Рыбак too. Александр Рыбак is a very talented musician who sings well in several languages and plays the violin.
Gionnyscandal is another rapper whose music I enjoy very much.
Music, food and sex can always put me in a good mood.
Тимати is someone else whose music I like very much.. He is another sexy man.
Russian and French reggae are the only reggae to which I listen. Аддис-Абеба is one of my favorites. I cannot remember the names of the other Russian reggae musicians, and I am too lazy right now to look them up. There is one song with a humorous video, "Legalize it."
I wish I could listen to my CDs by Григорий Лепс and Александр Рыбак too. Александр Рыбак is a very talented musician who sings well in several languages and plays the violin.
Gionnyscandal is another rapper whose music I enjoy very much.
Music, food and sex can always put me in a good mood.
Monday, June 12, 2017
I Am Struggling, but I will Survive
It looks like I will have to find another job. One day I am told that I will be working every day. The next day I am told that I may go for weeks without working. This is difficult financially and emotionally. I cannot continue doing this.
I spent time with friends last week. I sucked one friend's cock. Another guy says that he wants me to give him head. He wanted money for this, so I gave him some money. He keeps making excuses for not following through with this. They seem valid, but he will not get any more money until I get so suck his cock.
I reach out to people who claim to be friends, but they do not call. This is true when I am happy and when I am depressed. I think it is time to let these people go and find new friends. Some other people who claim to be friends seem more interested in getting money from me, doing drugs with me or having me suck them off. I do not mind doing these things, but sometimes I need people who will just spend time with me. I learned last week that I know at least one guy who is willing to spend time with me and will listen to what I need to say.
Sorry that this is not the most entertaining post. I just need to express how I feel.
I spent time with friends last week. I sucked one friend's cock. Another guy says that he wants me to give him head. He wanted money for this, so I gave him some money. He keeps making excuses for not following through with this. They seem valid, but he will not get any more money until I get so suck his cock.
I reach out to people who claim to be friends, but they do not call. This is true when I am happy and when I am depressed. I think it is time to let these people go and find new friends. Some other people who claim to be friends seem more interested in getting money from me, doing drugs with me or having me suck them off. I do not mind doing these things, but sometimes I need people who will just spend time with me. I learned last week that I know at least one guy who is willing to spend time with me and will listen to what I need to say.
Sorry that this is not the most entertaining post. I just need to express how I feel.
Wednesday, June 7, 2017
Honestly: I am Not 100% Altruistic
It is better to identify a potential problem and prevent it than to let it become a real problem. I know that with the help of friends that I can keep from becoming an addict. For years I have had a fear of addiction. I believe that I can have fun without becoming addicted. I am already addicted to dick, but that is not an addiction that I want to give up. I can never get enough dick, piss and cum. I may say that I do it to make other men feel, but honestly I do it for selfish reasons. I love having a cock in my mouth. Hopefully I make the men I suck off feel good. It is less satisfying for both of us if I cannot make him cum. It is less important to me for me to cum. I will see what mischief I can get into today. I plan on having fun.
Tuesday, June 6, 2017
6/6/17 I Need Moderation in Some Areas of my Life
When I talk about experimenting with drugs I do not mean that I am doing a lot of drugs. It has only been a few times, just enough to get a little high and a bit horny. I just need to be careful not to let it get out of hand, and I do not plan on doing that. I cannot afford it financially. I have to pay rent. Also I want to stay in good health. I have lost weight, because I have not been eating enough. I am working on that. I still think that weed should be made legal. It would probably be better for my health than the medication that I take to keep from having seizures. I have not had any seizures since last May. I have not been able to afford to get any of the tests that my neurologist wants me to have. Even with insurance they would be too expensive. The healthcare system in the USA is completely fucked up.
I have to use moderation in my spending money, drug use and cock sucking. I am not going to stop taking care of myself.
I have to use moderation in my spending money, drug use and cock sucking. I am not going to stop taking care of myself.
Monday, June 5, 2017
14:31 thoughts on addiction
I have to be sure to pay rent before I spend money on anything else. I do not want to be homeless again. I know that I have not hit rock bottom, and I do not want to find out what that is like. I do enjoy how some drugs make me feel, but I do not want to be an addict. I have an addictive personality. I do not want to get in contact with people from whom I could buy these drugs, and I do not want to do them unless I am with a few friends. I have to be careful. I know that I could lose everything that I have, so I have to be careful. The addictions I want to keep are to cock, cum and pee. I am going to be careful. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and I have to choose the right things to enjoy.
I do want to enjoy the cocks of two of my friends at the same time. I want to find a way to relax my asshole, so that I can suck one of them while the other fucks me. I want to cum and pee when I am with both of them.
I do want to enjoy the cocks of two of my friends at the same time. I want to find a way to relax my asshole, so that I can suck one of them while the other fucks me. I want to cum and pee when I am with both of them.
Saturday, June 3, 2017
My First Post for June 2017
I may have fucked up big time earlier this week. I spent more money than I should have. A friend promised to pay me back about $100.00 today. I hope that he does that. If not I will have to try to work out something with the friend from whom I rent my apartment. I will have to be more careful with my money. I need to give him money for rent before I see anyone else. Another thing that I may regret was sharing a needle with a couple of friends. I know that that was stupid, but I got caught up in the moment. I enjoyed what we did together, but I hope that I do not have to pay a big price. I have not hit rock bottom, and I do not want to do so. This was the first time that one of these friends saw me with the cock of the other in my mouth. That was a turn on for me. I was also turned on by taking risks with them. I just have to be more careful.
I also spent some time with another very close, intimate friend this week. We smoked some and had some fun together. He picked me up and took me to his place. After we had our fun he took me downtown to catch a city bus. I had some of his cum in my my hair. I was still very horny because of what we smoked. I was tempted to jerk off on the bus, but I resisted that temptation. He told me not to get in trouble, and I would not want to be a registered sex offender. It was fun just thinking about doing it though.
Tomorrow I am going to suck off another new friend. I hope he shows up.
They say that with age comes wisdom. That is not happening with me.
I also spent some time with another very close, intimate friend this week. We smoked some and had some fun together. He picked me up and took me to his place. After we had our fun he took me downtown to catch a city bus. I had some of his cum in my my hair. I was still very horny because of what we smoked. I was tempted to jerk off on the bus, but I resisted that temptation. He told me not to get in trouble, and I would not want to be a registered sex offender. It was fun just thinking about doing it though.
Tomorrow I am going to suck off another new friend. I hope he shows up.
They say that with age comes wisdom. That is not happening with me.
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