I Want to Join the Fight for Gay Rights in Poland, Russia and Other Countries

One of my friends on Google+ said that gay prisoners were being mistreated in Poland. This news saddened me. I wish I could go there and join the fight for gay rights there and in Russia. I long to be in that part of the world. It is like there is a hole within me that can only really be filled there. (A hole besides the penis-shaped hole that is my mouth.) I may be deluding myself, but I feel strongly drawn there.

Jeden z moich przyjaciół powiedział, że na Google+ homoseksualnych więźniów były maltretowane w Polsce. Ta wiadomość mnie zasmuciła. Chciałabym tam pojechać i przyłączyć się do walki o prawa gejów, a tam w Rosji. Pragnę być w tej części świata. To jest jak jest otwór we mnie, że naprawdę może być wypełniona tylko tam. (Dziura obok dziury w kształcie penisa, który jest usta.) I może być łudząc się, ale czuję się silnie przyciągany.

Один из моих друзей в Google+ сказал, что гей-заключенные были плохо обращались в Польше. Эта новость опечалило меня. Я хотел бы пойти туда и вступить в борьбу за права геев там и в России. Я долго, чтобы быть в этой части мира. Это как есть отверстие внутри меня, что может только действительно быть заполнены там. (Отверстие кроме пениса в форме отверстия, которое рот.) Я может быть в заблуждение себя, но я чувствую себя сильно тянет туда.

Akram Raslan Update

It has been confirmed by the Damascus-based news service Souriatna that Akram Ralsan died in the spring of 2013. His death is thought to have been caused by torture. In his cartoons he had spoken out strongly against the regime of Bashir al-Assad. I had the honor of chatting with him several times on Facebook. It was a great honor that he considered me his friend. He spoke of people being afraid of going out on the street. He himself was afraid of being arrested, but he did not let this stop from speaking out against an unjust regime. He showed great courage in his cartoons. I am not surprised to learn of his death, but I am saddened by it. He has been recognized for his courage, and I hope that his name and the message of his cartoons will not be forgotten.

Trying not to get down

I am trying not to get down, but it is difficult when I am so far from friends. I may have to start selling things. I have not been eating enough for a couple of days, and that affects my mood. Even a couple of days with friends would help some, but it does not look like I will be able to do even that. I do not want to me melodramatic, but the last time I felt this down for so long was when I attempted suicide. I am trying not to think about that possibility, but to be honest I am scared. I know things will get better, but I do not know what to do.

Kinky Musings

I wish I could find a more unconventional way to make money. I know I am too old to be in porn or for someone to be interested in having me as a slave. I am definitely too old to be a hustler. I would make a good sex slave. i would be happy to be someone's sex slave and to have an outside slave. I am happiest when I am making a man happy and am obedient to him. I would like to make a man proud to have a slave as obedient as I would be. Whether or not I pleased his friends would be his decision to make. If he wanted me to be a urinal for his friends I would be happy to do that. If he wanted me to be a urinal for him alone in front of them I would be happy to do that.

I think that in gay leather bars that it would be a good idea to hire human urinals for their restrooms. Their job would be to stay in the restroom and to be ready to drink the pee of the male customers. This could be possible for the female customers with female customers too. I know I would be happy to have that job. Whether or not the human urinals drank their pee when they are shitting would be up to the customer to decide. If the urinal did a very good job he could receive cum as a tip. The urinal  would probably be nude except for a collar and maybe a harness. Urinal piss gags would be available for the guys who did not want to put their cocks into the urinal's mouth or if two or more men wanted to use the urinal at the same time. I think this would be a fun job to have.

Scandy and In Extremo

I have been listening to "13 Ways to Masturbate" by Scandy, another project by Andy LaPlegua. The sound is not quite as dark as Combichrist. The sound is more electronic. He is definitely a talented musician. I have heard that he is a very nice guy. I definitely think he is sexy. I like all of his projects, but Combichrist id my favorite. I will probably listen to some Combichrist before I go to bed.

I have also been listening to In Extremo's CD "Verehrt und Angespien." In Extremo is called a German Medieval Metal Band. They use instruments with medieval origins. They include bagpipes. Their music is fun and the members are also sexy. They sing in German which is another plus for me. I am fond of the sound of bagpipes. The marriage of medieval and metal works very well. This CD was their first. I want to hear their others.

It is almost time for me to get ready for bed. Gute Nacht, mes amis.

It's Monday

It's Monday again, but it's the only day I am working this week. I do not know know how long I will be working today. I do hope I can get some rest this week this week as well as get some things done. I need to try to keep from getting too stressed. This stress is more tiring than physical work.

I was listening to "DJ Cam: The French Connection" yesterday. I use Windows Media Player to listen to CD's. Sometimes song titles are displayed incorrectly. With this CD "Life of Fortune & Fame" showed up as "Life of Future & Fume." I am listening to E-Type again, but even their music is having little effect on my mood. I am not giving up, but I cannot do this by myself.

I will try to be more cheerful next time.

Looking forward to time off from work.

Tomorrow is the only day I will be working this week. I will be working on things I need to get done, organizing things in boxes, research into how much it will cost to move, job hunting and lots of masturbation. I need to be sure to eat enough. When I don't eat enough I get depressed. I am going to continue to reach out to friends. I may need to sell some things. I need to be sure to stay active. I slept too long last night and this morning. I had a hard time getting out of bed. I have a tendency to focus on what I cannot do instead of what I can do. I will also try to post more here. I am scared of ending up without a place to live. I need to get over my insecurities.

Dobranoc przyjaciele.

Feeling overwhelmed, and I don't know what to do.

I would like to be entertaining, but I need to write about some things that are not very entertaining.

I know that I am the one responsible for getting in the I am in right now. I may not agree with my sister about many things, but she has helped me. It is time for me to move on though. If I do move to Arkansas I will not be able to do that soon. I am not equipped to handle my current situation by myself. It is difficult for me to reach out to other people for help, but that is what I need to do. I know that things will get better, but I do not know what to do in the meanwhile. This week I will do more organizing of my things in boxes.

I know that I am far from perfect, but I am not a hypocrite. I have difficulty fitting into the society in which I am living, but I am not going to change who I am in order to fit in. I am not going to apologize for who I am. I may look at too much porn, but I enjoy it. I wish I knew how to handle the practical aspects of life better, and I am trying. With the economy the way it is now there are many people who are not able to live by themselves. I do not know if I am emotionally equipped to handle living by myself if I had the economic means to do so. I need the emotional support of my friends.

I am reaching out to people who are willing to help me find my way.

I do not like being a whiny bitch, but that is how I feel right now. (That is not to be taken 100% seriously.)

An update with adult content

I desperately need to move. The only prospect so far is in Arkansas. He says that his new medication is helping keep him steady. I have been very open about myself with him. I am still a little uneasy about moving to be with him. He is a Christian. I am leaning more strongly towards atheism. I believe in accepting people of different faiths and no faith. I do not expect other people to view religion the same way that I do. I do not believe in anybody shoving their views on religion down anybody's throat. The only thing I want shoved down my throat is a hard cock.

I need to get away from my sister. Our relationship is becoming more strained. As I become more liberal she becomes more conservative. I am tired of her hypocrisy. She has been married three times. She is still legally married to number three, and she has a boyfriend. She complains about the porn on my computer. She has no business looking at my computer. She does not like my "life style." She writes notes, but we don't talk. She says that being gay is against God's law. There is more in the Bible against divorce than there is against homosexuality.

If any of my male readers wants a good, obedient slave and can help me to move to be with him he can contact me. I am very oral and love to swallow anything I can get from a cock. I would gladly do for him everything I talked about in my previous post. This includes drinking his piss and sucking him off while he shits. How kinky I am willing to get has not yet been established. I am being serious here.

Dobrú noc priatelia.

Another kinky Post

One of the main reasons I am sorry that things did not work out in Rhode Island is that I really wanted the things he had promised. He had promised that I would get to drink all of his pee when he was home. He had promised that we would go to leather bars and I would be his urinal there in front of all of his friends. I would not be wearing a harness and collar and not much else. Every time he needed to pee I would just get on my knees and drink it. If we were out shopping he was going to take me to the restroom with him, and I would be his urinal there. He was not going to share me with his friends. The only other man I would service would be the other guy living with us. He had promised that we would take showers together and I would get a special shower from him. This would almost be the perfect situation. I would have loved to be his personal urinal in front of his friends and suck him off in front of them. I love sucking dick in front of an audience, especially if I am going to be able to suck more than one. I would love being a urinal with an audience too. I would have loved being a urinal for his friends too. I can never get enough pee and cum. I love pleasing men. I am proud of my oral skills.

Time to go to work. No time to jerk off. Nashledanou.

Another Rambling Post

The other day when I was riding home from work (My sister was driving. I don't drive.) we passed a truck being driven by a very sexy man. His arms were covered with tattoos. We passed each other a few times. We looked at each other and nodded each time. I wished I could ride with him in his truck or do some fun things with him. Unfortunately there is not much of a chance of meeting him, but I still remember him. He may be the source of many sexual fantasies.

I am off from work most of next week. I only work Monday. I am looking forward to having some paid time off from work. I hope I can spend time with my sweetheart. He is scheduled off from work on Tuesday. He promised me that he will not go in. I want to spend time with him, with and without clothes. I think we will make each other feel good. I want to explore every inch of his body.

I am listening to Bára Basiková. The CD is Nová Gregoriana. When I was in Prague I went into the Bonton Superstore looking for this CD. I was hoping I would be able to find it. The CD was released in 1999, and I was there in 2004. When I went into the store it was playing on the sound system. She has a beautiful voice. On this CD she sings in Latin and Czech. I have a few other of her CD's. I made the mistake of loaning one of her CD's to somebody, and he never returned. I will see if I can find it on eBay.

It is time for me to masturbate and go to bed. Nashledanou.

I Still Need My Friends

Sometimes I need the emotional support of friends, and that support is hard to find. I will not give up. It is hard to reach out to others when you are trying to keep yourself together. There are people who say that they are always there for me, yet when I need them they are nowhere to be found. Sometimes they just say"Keep your head up, things will get better," but then they go on their way. I want to make this blog entertaining, but sometimes I have to write about things I am going through. This keeps them from overwhelming me. I have the strength to get out of my current situation. I just have to find the way.

Escala, Mina, etc.

I am listening to Escala. I listen to this CD when I want a good laugh. It is not intended to be funny, but there is something about their earnestness that I find hilarious. If you do not know, they are an English string quartet who plays classical and popular music. They have all performed in orchestras. I am not saying that they do not have talent. They definitely have talent, but their performances are over the top. I find their recording of "Live and Let Die" hilarious. They seem to take themselves too seriously.

Now I am going to listen to Mina. I definitely want to find more of her music. The first song I heard by her was "Insieme." The CD to which I am listening is entitled "Veleno." Among my favorite songs are "Succhiando l'uva" and "Il pazzo." Her latest CD was released in 2014. She has been performing since 1959. "D'amore non scrivo più" is a beautiful song." I could listen to her for hours.

Why is it that people talk about Obama being accused of being a Muslim. That makes it sound like being a Muslim is a bad thing. I think it would be better to say that there are some people who claim that he is a Muslim. One does not accuse someone of being something good or neutral. We need to choose our words more carefully.

Gute Nacht, miei amici.

Still looking for feedback

I am asking again for feedback from readers. What am I doing right? In what areas do I need improvement? Do I ramble too much? Are my posts too short? Should I post more or less frequently? I will still write about what interests me. This will remain my main creative outlet. I just want some feedback. What would you like to read more about?

Thanks for reading.

Another post with unrelated paragraphs.

I just finished talking to a special friend. As furries I was his pet. This was not the usual master/pet relationship. I was obedient, but there was tenderness to the relationship. He did not want to be a master anymore. We are still very close. We are not always in touch, but he has a special place in my heart and life. He is someone with whom I can be very open. He is in California, and I miss him. For awhile he was one of my roommates in Kansas. I would still do anything for him that he wanted. His name is still on the tag of a collar that I wear. It says "Property of ****." It is to reflect our special friendship.

I do not know if I would trust a fundamentalist of any religion in any elected office. This includes fundamentalist atheist. I would not want anyone in an office if that person expected everybody to believe of not believe as they do. I would want those who uphold the constitution to be elected to office. I would want their decisions to be based on that and not on any religious texts. This does not mean that I do not believe that the constitution can be amended. I do not want anybody's religious views to be forced down my throat. There is only one thing I allow to be forced down my throat, and that is with my consent.

I am listening to E-Type from Sweden. I was introduced to their music by the friend mentioned above. They are one of my favorite bands. I would love to dance to their music. I have not been dancing in a long time, but I would love to be able to do it again. I would lose myself in the music and not worry about what anybody else thought.

Buona sera, mes amis.

Fond Memory (Adult Content)

This was more than ten years ago, but it is a fond memory. I was in a restroom where there was a lot of cruising going on. All of the stalls were occupied. There was a hot guy who caught my eye in one stall. He nodded at me. The guy next to him wanted him wanted to play, but the hot guy wanted me. The other guy finally left, and I entered the stall. Hot Guy slid his legs and hard cock under the partition, and I started giving him head. Several times Hot Guy got nervous and pulled back. Each time he gave it back to be, and I would continue to suck him. I am not sure how long this went on, but I got a nice reward. He shot his load in my mouth. Before he left he thanked me, and I thanked him. I felt good that such a hot man would give me the honor of sucking him off and swallowing his cum.

The Tourists, My Sweetheart, and more

I am listening to The Tourists' Greatest Hits. Annie Lennox and Dave Stewart were members of this band before performing as Eurythmics. One of their biggest hits was a recording of "I Only Want to Be with You." They were a couple when they performed with this band. Dave Stewart joked that they were one of the few couples who broke up then became famous. I have two CD's of their music, their greatest hits and "Reality Effect." Annie Lennox's voice stands out in their songs. She is a very talented musician who plays multiple instruments. Dave Stewart also plays multiple instruments. The Tourists's music focused had less of an electronic sound than Eurythmics' music did starting with their second album "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)." Their first album as Eurythmics, "In the Garden" also had a more organic sound.

I was not able to get together with my sweetheart today. He was going to have today off from work, but they asked him to go in today. Nobody showed up to replace him, so he had to stay longer than he had planned. Hopefully we will be able to get together next Tuesday. I miss him.

I went to Subway to get a sandwich, but when I was paying for my sandwich the card reader was not working, so I had to go somewhere else to get something to eat. I went to Chick-Fil-A. That is not a place where I like to eat, but it was one of the few places I could afford today. I had what was supposed to be a spicy chicken sandwich. It was one of the worst things that I have ever eaten. The only taste I could really discern was the taste of salt. The chicken tasted like it had been fried in oil that had been used too much. The chicken did not taste like any chicken I have ever tasted before.I am not sure what it tasted like, but it was not the taste of chicken. I left a comment on their website. I do not plan on going back. Another reason that I avoid eating there is their anti-gay stance.

I got a voicemail from the Arkansas guy. I only listened to the beginning. He started out by calling me a drama queen. Aside from him there has not been much drama in my life. He seems to like to stir up drama.

Gute Nacht

Going to Meet my Sweetheart

I am going to get together with my sweetheart. I am not sure what we are going to do, but it will involve hugging and kissing and hopefully more. I am going to meet him at a mall, and we will decide what to do. I feel comfortable in his company. I can't wait to see him. I want to explore his body with my hands and mouth. I will write more later, but I will not write anything that reveals too much about him,

When Will I Learn?

I spent several hours listening to the guy in Arkansas. He seemed sincere, but he still refuses to resolve an issue. He lied to me when he said that he had taken a bottle of pills. As I mentioned before I called emergency services where he lives. He kept throwing this in my face, because he said that I was trying to get him in trouble. At the time he said that he was going to take a warrant out for my arrest. I called the police there, and they said that I had nothing to worry about. I tried to get this issue resolved between us, and he got upset saying I was throwing the issue in his face. It was all right for him to use the incident to attack me, but if I tried to resolve it I was being the "bad guy." He has never offered me any emotional support, yet he claimed to love me. If I was down he would tell me to get over it. I do not know how many lies he told me. He kept telling me that he was fifty-one years old, but on his recent birthday he said that he just turned fifty-three. I do not know what to believe of what he has told me. What he has told about his upbringing and health seem unquestionable. I have shown him enough patience. Enough is enough.

More Monday Morning Musings

I hope I get an eight-hour day at work today. It seems like we usually have too much or not enough. I am going to continue my job hunt. I need to be with people who can give me emotional support. I do not want other people to make my decisions for me, but having people who will be supportive while I am finding my way would be helpful. Some hugs along would be nice too, and hopefully I will get some of those tomorrow. I am keeping my head up in all situations. I can keep my head up while I am on my knees. People tried to tell Toshiko Akiyoshi that a Japanese woman could not play jazz. I am not going to let other people tell me what I can and cannot do.

Adult content and a bad pun

I am definitely a submissive guy, but I do not like to be fucked in the ass. It hurts too much. I would like to be able to be able to please a man  by letting him fuck me, but it is a pain that I definitely do not like. I am better at pleasing a man with my tongue. I also can fuck a man in his ass and give us both pleasure. I have had men tell me that I just need to relax. I find it difficult to relax when all I can feel is pain. I would like to be able to focus on giving him pleasure, but I have not been able to do that. The last time I was fucked was by a guy with a small dick, but it did not feel good. He was able to cum in the condom he was wearing, but I never heard from him again. There have been a few times when it did not hurt too much physically. The last time I was with a FWB who had entered into relationship since we had played together. He was on his back, and I lowered myself on his cock. As he was fucking he told me how much he loved his partner. WTF? Anyway, there are ways in which I please a man.

If I wore leather in France would I be a queer en cuir?

Manic Mike and the Mood Stabilizers

I recently discovered the music of Manic Mike and the Mood Stabilizers in a group on Google+. I was initially drawn to listen to their music by the name of the band. The first song I heard by them, Contempt for Capitalism,"deals with working a low-paying job where workers are treated like shit. I am listening to their music on Soundcloud (https://soundcloud.com/manic-mike-1). The lyrics are more easily understood than the lyrics of hardcore music usually are. One of my favorites in addition to the one mentioned above is "No Hard Feelings, Just My Hard Dick." The lead singer is straight, but he does sing about a subject I enjoy, a hard dick, even though it is in a heterosexual context. The music is fun. It lives up to the name of the band. I will be spending more time listening to their music.

More from Arkansas

In the last two days I spent close to three hours on the phone with the guy in Arkansas. He did most of the talking. That is another thing that bugs me. It is hard to have a regular conversation. Either he interrupts me every time I try to talk or he says, "You want to talk. Go ahead." That doesn't help. I do want to get away from North Carolina, but I am not sure about Arkansas. I need to talk with my local sweetheart.

Manau: Fest Noz de Paname

Manau is one of my favorite hip-hop bands. I did not know anything before seeing this CD in a Borders store. I wanted to hear some new French music, so I took a chance and bought the CD. I was happy that I took the chance. I love the music, the lyrics and the instrumentation. One of my favorite is "Tout le monde...(a besoin de tout le monde.)" It is a positive, but I am not sure I need everybody. There are some people with whom I would rather have to deal. "Faut pas faire chier Mémé" is a hilarious song. It is about a Mémé you it would be better not to fuck with, because she is armed and is not afraid to use her gun. Their song "Je jazz les couleurs" introduced me to Dee Dee Bridgewater. She is a great American jazz singer who sings in English and French. "Des kilos is another funny song about losing weight. "Dafunkamanau" is definitely a fun song. Among their instruments are bagpipes, harp, violin, bombarde, Jew's harp, accordion, etc. Some of their songs are moving. I never get tired of their music.

C'est aujourd'hui vendredi.

C'est aujourd'hui vendredi. That means it's payday. Almost all gone. Oh well. Dum spiro spero. It does no good to worry about what I cannot do. Worrying does not do any good. I am keeping my head up. One of them, I will get the other one up before I go to bed. On the CD I just got there is a song "I'm Horny" though it sounds like the vocalist is singing "I'm Ernie, Ernie." It is a woman singing it. It makes it rather funny. I am not really horny all the time, but the potential is always there. In those circumstances I usually focus on getting one head down rather than getting the other one up. I always like making other people feel good, but it does not always involve sex.

I may not be among the sexiest people on earth, but I feel good about how I look. My tummy could be firmer, but it's ok.

Nashledanou.

"Haters Make Me Famous" by Gionnyscandal

I think I was initially drawn to this CD by the title. I saw it listed on Amazon after hearing one of his songs. (Haters usually make themselves look themselves look bad and bring attention to those they badmouth.) I have difficulty understanding him when he raps, but that is because my Italian needs work. He has two more CD's that I want to get. Listening to his songs is helping my Italian, but that is not the main reason for which I listen to his music. I really like it. His music videos are very good too. So now I have Gionnyscandal, Mina and Lucio Dalla to help me with my Italian. I do like the sound of the Italian language too.

Now I know why I'm not famous. I don't have haters saying mean things about me. That's fine with me. I would prefer not having the drama and fame.

Monsoir, mis amigos.

God dag.

I am not going to enter into a relationship where I have to hide things about who I am. I want someone with whom I can share my interests. He does not have to like everything that I do, and I do not have to like everything that he does. It would be nice if I found someone with whom I could watch films in different languages and listen to music in various languages and various genres. It would be great if I could find friends with whom I could speak more than one language. The ideal situation would be to find someone special with whom I could study and practice languages. The ideal situation would be to have someone with whom I could travel around Europe. At times I doubt my language abilities until I get to practice. At those times I realize that I am not so bad at languages after.

Dobrý deň (God dag)

More from Arkansas

I had a long talk with the guy in Arkansas. He said that he almost died as a result of an accident recently. He wants to get back together with me. I could hear tears in his voice. I do still have feelings for him, but I do not want to rush when it comes to relationships. There are things about him that really bother me. He uses a certain word that starts with "n" too frequently. He says that there will be no more yelling, fighting, etc. I want to take time to be really sure that this is true. I love him, and I love my sweetheart here. The Arkansas puts too much emphasis on the sexual aspects of relationships. He says that since my sweetheart here and I are both bottoms our relationship could not work. I need to be able to think things through before making a decision. I want to make sure that the guy in Arkansas really understands who I am. For me faith is not something that comes easily. This could be a problem in our relationship. I do not tolerate racism. I do not want to hurt him or my sweetheart here. I need to be open with both of them about my doubts. I am happy with who I am. I would love to have a man in my life, but I cannot let my happiness depend on that.

Bonsoir, mes amis.

I'm Still Not in Kansas

My checking and saving accounts are still in a Kansas credit union. I still have a Kansas ID. Most of my close friends are in Kansas. I am starting to feel like Dorothy. I want to get back to Kansas, well Lawrence, Kansas. I would not want to live in most of the rest of the state. I miss my friends there and the larger variety of beer available in the liquor stores. When I was there I did not like my job, but compared to the job I have now it is a dream job. The salary and benefits were definitely better. I liked my coworkers more than I do most of my coworkers at my current job. I had friends with whom I could I could go out and enjoy good beer, food and conversation. Once  in awhile I could enjoy some fun sex. The downtown in Lawrence is definitely more diverse than the empty buildings in Kannapolis. When the time is right I will either be able to move back there or move somewhere with my sweetheart.

Nashledanou.

Hank Williams III, Gionnyscandal, Daniel Landa, etc.

I watched a video of Hank Williams III performing "Ghost to a Ghost" live in 2013. I was blown away by the quality of the performance, a seamless combination of country and metal. He has to be one of the most underrated musicians today. I have heard that his concerts are great. I would like to see him perform live in person.

Listening to Kraftwerk now. Eventually I might get some of their music on CD. Their music has always made me want to dance. Yes, it is a bit slow for dance music, but it has that effect on me. Since the very early 80's when I first heard their music I have not been able to stay still when listening to them.

I was listening to Pandora Radio on shuffle earlier. In the shuffle while I was listening I heard Dave Brubeck, Klaus Nomi, Sublime, Colton Ford, Kraftwerk, etc. I enjoyed the mix, but when it comes to music I am a control freak. You will never know what you will find me listening to. Today in addition to the above I have listened to Tublatanka, Gionnyscandal, Combichrist and Daniel Landa. Who knows what I will listen to next. I just want to make the choice. It is not a big deal to me. It is just the way it is.

Boa noite, somn usor.

Tublatanka: Gold

My CD "Tublatanka:Gold" arrived today. It is sort of a greatest hits collection from the Slovak heir-metal band Tublatanka. The earliest song was released in 1985, and the latest is from 1993. There are videos for some of their songs on YouTube. Anybody who has watched the movie "Hostel" has heard their song "Pravda víťazí." It plays during a scene that takes place in a club in Bratislava. I was introduced to their music by a friend about twelve years ago. I wish I knew more Slovak so I could understand their lyrics. I can understand a word here and there, but Slovak is one of the languages I would really like to learn. I think I would have enjoyed seeing Tublatanka in concert. I enjoy their music a lot.

Dobrú noc, moji priatelia po celom svete.

I Am Tired Of the Arkansas Sh*t

The guy in Arkansas acts like he is going to be nice to me, then when I answer his calls he starts a verbal assault. I am not going to answer his calls or listen to his voice mails. I am not going to pug up with verbal abuse. I think he is trying to push me further away from him. He is doing that. I do not know what to believe of what he has said. He calls me a liar. I have always been honest with him. I know he lied about the pills. I do not know what else he has lied about. He refuses to understand that is very difficult for me to save money in my current situation. I am not going to communicate with him anymore. I have someone here whom I love and who loves me. We are going to get together soon for some intimate fun. We make each other feel good. I need to be with someone with whom I can communicate. I need someone who will listen as well as talk. My sweetie does that. Just knowing I have someone like him in my life brightens my day.

Well, time to get dressed for work.

An encounter I had with a 'straight" man.

I was reminded of a man with whom I had a sexual encounter. He wanted to be very discreet. he was staying at a friend's house. We met at the house. He had been outside walking, and he has been sweating. He wanted to wash his cock before letting me suck it. He took his clothes off. He had a nice body and I beautiful uncut cock. His balls and hole smelled great. He loved having his cock sucked as well as his balls. He also enjoyed being rimmed. As I was sucking him he undid my pants and played with my hard cock. He also fingered my hole. For several minutes he sat on a couch and jerked his cock. He wanted to see my ass while he was masturbating. He did not cum though. He said several times that he was not gay. I had a good time with him though. He asked if I wanted to rinse my mouth out before leaving. When I got home I could smell him on my shirt. I jerked off as I enjoyed the lingering scent.

Auntie Mame

I finished reading Auntie Mame: An Irreverent Escapade.  I had forgotten some things about the book. I had forgotten that Mame had gay friends and there is a mention of her spending time with them on Fire Island. At one point she asks her nephew, Patrick the narrator, if he likes boys or girls. One of the main themes of the book is enjoying one's life. It also speaks against prejudices. It is an enjoyable book with a positive message.

I started rereading Assholes Finish First by Tucker Max. I enjoy his books, but it is probably good that we won't meet in person.

It is bedtime. Goodnight, mes amis.

Starting the Day Slowly as Usual

I am slowly waking up. I am getting ready to face another day in the same workplace. Tomorrow I need to do some more job hunting online and get some of my stuff better organized. I may find some music I have been looking for. I definitely need to dust. Cleaning this room is easier if I do it bit by bit. I need to keep myself from getting overwhelmed by how big the mess is. I really do not like having things disorganized. One incentive is that my sweetheart will be spending a day with me here soon, and I want things to be a bit neater. I know we will be paying more attention to each other than my room. I am looking forward to having some intimate time with him. It's time for me to get dressed and get ready for work.

I hope everybody is having a good уик-энд.

Сьогодні п'ятниця. (Dzisiaj jest piątek.)

It doesn't make much difference that today is Friday, oh well. I will be happy today a pesar de todo. (A little melodrama there for humor) Things are still uncertain, but I am still breathing, so I have hope. I have friends and a special guy in my life. If anybody has music that they want to recommend to me I am always happy to find music I have not heard before or to be reminded of music I have forgotten. Slowly people at work are learning to say please when they want me to do something for them. Too bad I won't get a break to suck a cock today, but I will be able to suck and fuck my sweetie soon.

Иметь хороший уик-энд, друзья.

Gionnyscandal

I am listening to Gionnyscandal's CD, "Gionata." It was released in 2014. I do not remember where I first heard his music. I immediately wanted to hear more when I first heard him. He is talented and sexy. Some of his songs are very moving, "Vestita di lividi" for example. There are videos  some of his songs on YouTube. I like all of the songs on the CD. Gionny Bravo is a fun song. "Philofobia," Gionata" ans "Supereroe" also stand out. His songs flow very well. I am enjoying hearing rap in Italian. It is also helping me to brush up on my Italian.

I have heard people say that they can't stand rap. They lump all rap together. There is a lot of diversity in rap and hip hop. I try to approach music and other things with an open mind.

On an unrelated note when Is John Boehner going to stop trying to sue President Obama? Boehner needs to be voted out of office. He is wasting time and tax-payer money. He does not have the best interest of the U.S. in mind.

Buona sera. Auf Wiedersehen!

I Will not Put up with Rudeness

I prefer to be laid back, but I am not going to tolerate someone being rude to me. A woman at work yesterday grabbed a box from my hand yesterday. This is not something I will put up with. I told her that if she needed it to say so not to just grab it. She acted as if I was being unrealistic. She was being a rude bitch. I try to make other people's jobs easier, but I will not let people treat me rudely. Some of the people want to be treat other people any way they want, but they do not tolerate the same behavior. If they try this with me they are in for a rude awakening. Every person is worthy of respect.

If I go to another country I want to be able to communicate in the language spoken in that country. I do not accept the rudeness of Americans who expect people in other countries to speak English. I am in favor of letting people from other countries to immigrate to the U.S., but they need to make an effort to learn English. Some of the people at work make fun of the Americans who do not speak Spanish. They say rude things in Spanish about expecting not to be understood. This is not a good idea. I undestand not knowing how to speak English initially. I do not act like that in other countries.

My New Sweetheart

I had hoped to be able to be able to see my new sweetheart, but he had a headache. I know we will see each other soon again. I feel very comfortable with him. He is a very sweet guy. We are still getting to know each other. We have some interests in common. We both can be sort nerdy. He is a good kisser. We both enjoy cuddling. I can be open with him. I know he is a caring person. I hope that we will be able to spend more time together. We are planning on going for walks together, maybe hand in hand. We will probably go bowling together some day. I am looking forward to building a relationship with him.

No One Noticed the Cat

I just finished reading No One Noticed the Cat by Anne McCaffrey. It is a book that is hard to put down once you start reading. It reminded me of what a wonderful writer Anne McCaffrey was. It makes me want to reread the books I have read in the Dragonriders of Pern series. I started this book yesterday afternoon, and I would have probably been able to read it in one sitting if I had not had to attend to other matters. I would not want to read it too quickly. I enjoy reading some books in order to savor the writing and the story. It is a slim book, and I was a bit saddened to come to the end. I am glad that there are more books by the same author that I have not yet read. This book was marketed by its publisher as fantasy, and that fits if you want to label it. Wikipedia calls it a children's book, but the vocabulary would be advanced for many children. It is a book that can be enjoyed by many ages. I would recommend it to anyone who is willing to let their inner child enjoy a great read.

Starting the day with O-Zone (Updated)

I am waking up with O-Zone's CD "DiscO-Zone." It has their song "Dragostea Din Tei." Some people insist on calling it "Numa Numa" because of the line,, "Nu mă iau, nu mă iei." On YouTube references are made to the original Italian version. The song is in Romanian. Where do people get their misinformation? They did record the song in English too, but I prefer the original. The video for the song is fun too. Europop puts me in a good mood. I wish I could take this music with me to listen to at work. I won't let the  bullshit there crush my mood though.

Once in the early 90's I was at party helping DJ. There were not many people dancing. I suggested playing some techno. The guy I was DJing with was reluctant, but he started playing some 2 Unlimited. A lot of people started dancing immediately. I had a feeling that this was what the people there wanted.

I will add more to this post later. (Some of what I had  typed this morning had disappeared, and I did not have time to retype everything.)

Hasta luego, mes amis.

Another Update: Temp Agency Appointment

I had an appointment at a temp agency. I hope that this leads to a new job. This will mean starting as a temp again, but things keep getting worse where I am working. Workers are treated as replaceable parts of a machine and not as people. Sometimes I think that they want workers to quit before they finish one year so that they will not have to give vacation or holiday pay. Workers have to be there one year before they get those benefits. Appreciation is never shown for a good job. Some people can get away with childish behavior. There are some people who run and play like children. The work environment at times is hostile. The supervisors are often rude to workers, and workers are often rude to each other. This is supposed to be a "professional workplace," but there is very little professional about it. I was told by the agency that if I do not hear from them before next Monday to call them. I will post what happens.

Boa noite. Somn usor.

What's on my Mind Now

I think I piss people off sometimes when I say what I think instead of what they want to hear. I was chatting with someone I have known for a long time. He was complaining about losing a lot of friends. I asked if he talked about anything besides farting, cats and wrestling. These are his main topics of conversation. He also sent a lot of pictures that make fun of people. I told Him that I did not want to see things that made fun of people. I told him I was glad to be his friend if he would talk about himself. Videos of people farting get very tedious very quickly. I am very fond of animals, but there are limits to how many cat photos and videos I want to see. I think he is hiding behind these topics instead of dealing with his real problems. I told him this. I am not going to be unkind with honesty, but I am not going to pretend a problem is not there when it is. I also do not hide things behind the words I say in personal communication. I may write poetry or other pieces of creative writing with multiple meanings, but if I have something I want to communicate I do so directly.

I have been guilty of laughing at photos of people seen at Walmart, but I realize that that is not a good thing to do. The people in these photos may have mental health issues. We do not know why they go out in public the way that they do, but making fun of them is not all right. These are people who have feelings. If we do not like what they are wearing we do not have to take photos of them to ridicule them. We can either look the other way or talk to them and see if they need help. These sites are a form of bullying in my opinion.

Gute Nacht, мои друзья.

Monday Morning Starting Slowly

Happy Labor Day to those celebrating it today. I work today.

I am slowly waking up drinking a cup of coffee and listening to "DJ: Cam: The French Connection: A Continuous Mix Featuring the Sounds of Artefact." It is a gentler start than I sometimes have. It was either DJ Cam or Orlík this morning. I will save Orlík for later. Sometimes I like something rowdy in the morning to prepare for the bullshit I have to put up most days. The place where I am working at times is becoming more and more of a comedy of errors. I think it is better to laugh at the situation than to let it drive more insane than I already am.

Not long ago I received a robocall from somebody claiming to be People's Bank. The recording said that my debit card had been suspended, and I needed to enter my card number to reactivate it. It was obvious that this was a scam. My bank would not ask for this information on the phone, and I do not have an account with People's Bank.

I am listening to "Immigraniada (We Comin' Rougher)" by Gogol Bordello then heading to work. I am saving Orlík for after work.

Nashledanou

Gute Nacht

I will try to start posting more regularly. I have been trying to get caught up with Facebook and emails.

I have an appointment at a temp agency on Tuesday. I hope I can find a new job.

The guy in Arkansas that I mentioned before is being difficult. I do still love him, but I do not think that we would make a good couple. He has serious issues that he is not fully dealing with. Several months ago he called and said that he had taken a bottle of pills. He sounded groggy. I was afraid that he had done it. I called emergency services in his town. He had not taken any pills. He said that I was trying to get him in trouble. I thought I was doing the right thing. He had scared me, and I was afraid he was going to die. There were a few times that he ended the relationship. Then he wanted to start anew. He did this one time too many. He told me to find somebody else. It was just after this that I met my new friend. He says that I had lied to him, and I found someone behind his back. If I did it behind his back it is because he turned his back on me. I do not know what to believe of what he says. According to him he almost went to jail and has had health scares lately. I do not want to hurt him, but I have had as much as I can take from him. I need to focus on my new relationship.

People speak of the U.S. as a "developed country," but I do not think it has developed as much as many other countries. Healthcare in this country needs serious work. Workers in Europe are treated better than workers are treated here. This country refused to accept the metric system. In many ways this country lags behind the others that call themselves developed.

Boa noite, mes amis.

Saturday Morning Post

It's Saturday. I do not know how long I will be working today. I need to work at east eight hours for the money. I am not sure how long I will be working less. I hope I find a new job soon. I have an appointment at a temp agency on Tuesday. The heavy lifting is wearing me down.

I am reading Auntie Mame by Patrick Dennis, a pseudonym of Edward Everett Tanner III. I read it quite a few years ago. It is a delightful, light-hearted humorous book. I also read Little Me by the same author. These are not the full titles of these books. The real theme of Auntie Mame enjoying life by being oneself. It is a book that I have a hard time putting down. I am also very fond of the film based on the book. It starred Rosalind Russell. "Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death." I will write more later. It has been a while since I read Little Me, the "autobiography" of Belle Poitrine a star of stage and screen. I did not know the real identity of the author until recently. Since reading his books I thought he was gay. According to Wikipedia he was bi and he became active in the gay community in New York. He also wrote books with the pen name Virginia Rowans. I do not know anything about them yet. I'll do research later. I will write more later.

I am getting a CDs by Tublatanka and Gionny Scandal, I will, write about those whem, I get them.

Well it is time to get ready for work. Hugs and kisses for all. Na shledanou.

Developing Relationship

I am developing a relationship with my new friend. Before we met I was afraid that we were not going to meet. I am very happy that we have met. We have only seen each other in public. The first time we kissed and hugged in a store dressing room. He gave me a lap dance. The second time we kissed and embraced more publicly. He is a sweetheart.We are learning each others' likes and dislikes. I will write later when my brain is working better.
Bonsoir, amigos.

It's Back

Internet is back. I will be posting.

Update

I am using a computer at the public library. The library is not open on Sundays, so I can only come here on Tuesdays. I will update on my phone at times.

On Sunday I watched "Brother to Brother," a film directed in 2004 by Rodney Evans. Anthony Mackie plays a gay African-American art student. He meets Bruce Nugent, played by Roger Robinson, who had been an artist and writer in the Harlem Renaissance. One of the themes is the resistance within the African-American struggle for equal rights. There are flashbacks in the movie that show writers and artists involved in the Harlem Renaissance, such as Zora Neale Hurston, Langston Hughes and Wallace Thurman. What is written on the DVD case in places does not make sense. The film is called surrealistic. There is nothing surrealistic about the movie. There is a quote from The Hollywood Reporter  that says that this film "Heralds the emergence of an exciting new voice in black filmmaking."Why not just say that he is an exciting new voice in filmaking? This is a moving and sometimes sexy movie. The theme of interracial gay sex is also shown as well as gay and heterosexual promiscuity. This is an excellent film.

I am finishing Reading Diary by Chuck Palahniuk. It was published in 2003. It is the diary of an artist, Misty Marie Wilmot (Though on the dust jacket she is called Misty Tracy Wilmot.) whose husband is in a coma. It is not surprising that things are often not as they initially appear to be. Some things I suspected, but there hints along the way, as there were in Fight Club. I plan on reading more of his books. This is a book that is hard to put down.

I heard from my friend in Arkansas last night. He still wants me to move there. I love him, and I love my new friend here. I do not know yet what to do. I just know I need to move as soon as I can.

I hope to write soon.