The French Language Will Always Be Special to Me

As much as I love other languages French will always be special to me, because it is the first foreign
language that I learned. Studying French in school definitely changed the direction of my life. Before getting interested in languages I had planned on going into Christian Ministry. I know that that would not have been an easy road. At that time I did not know anything about gay-affirming Christian churches. When I started studying French I discovered something I was good at and enjoyed. It was like discovering a part of myself that I did not know was there. I would like to have someone in my life with whom I can share my love for languages. I cannot think of myself as a citizen of one country but of several countries including France, Ukraine, Poland, Slovenia, Slovakia, Czech Republic, etc. This may sound trite, but it is true.

Autant que je aime d'autres langues française sera toujours spécial pour moi, parce que ce est la première langue étrangère que je ai appris. Étudier le français à l'école définitivement changé la direction de ma vie. Avant de se intéresser à des langues que je avais prévu d'aller dans le ministère chrétien. Je sais que cela ne aurait pas été un chemin facile. À cette époque, je ne savais rien sur les églises chrétiennes gay-affirmer. Quand je ai commencé à étudier le français, je ai découvert quelque chose que je étais bon et apprécié. Ce était comme découvrir une partie de moi-même que je ne savais pas était là. Je aimerais avoir quelqu'un dans ma vie avec qui je peux partager mon amour pour les langues. Je ne peux pas me considère comme un citoyen d'un pays, mais de plusieurs pays dont la France, l'Ukraine, la Pologne, Slovénie, Slovaquie, République tchèque, etc. Cela peut sembler banal, mais c'est vrai.

Tak jak ja kocham inne języki francuski zawsze będzie dla mnie wyjątkowy, ponieważ jest to pierwszy język obcy, że dowiedziałem. Studiowanie francuskiego w szkole na pewno zmienił kierunek mojego życia. Przed uzyskaniem zainteresowany językach ja planowaliśmy pojechać do Ministerstwa chrześcijańskiej. Wiem, że to nie byłoby łatwe drogi. W tym czasie nie miałem nic na temat gejów potwierdzając kościołów chrześcijańskich wiedzą. Kiedy zacząłem studiować francuski odkryłem coś byłem dobry i cieszył. To było jak odkrywanie część siebie, że nie wiedział, był tam. Chciałbym, aby ktoś w moim życiu, z którymi mogę podzielić się moją miłość do języków. Nie mogę myśleć o sobie jako obywatel jednego kraju, ale z kilku krajów, w tym Francji, Ukrainy, Polski, Słowenii, Słowacji, Czech, itp Może to brzmieć banalnie, ale to prawda.

Uncut Member Only

"Uncut Member Only" is an Italian movie that features Franco Trentalance's crotch. For almost all of the film the camera is focused on his naked crotch. We see his cock hard and soft. While on vacation with his fiancee he had an accident and fractured his pelvis and leg. He had fallen off a deck at the beach, and his fiancee has disappeared. The police think he killed her. He has just gotten out of the hospital. He thinks that she has dumped him. He keeps trying to hook with a woman, but things do not work out. The first woman he calls is in London. One comes to see him, but she has a tennis player boyfriend with her. She eventually shows up without the boyfriend, but says that she does not want to betray him. She teases Ciccio, and out of frustration he calls the tennis player and tells him that his girlfriend is there. This turns out not to be a good idea. Another woman likes to have her "bongos" played. (Having her ass lightly spanked.) Another likes to have her radio knobs (her nipples) adjusted. (I would like to do that with a man.) He talks about popping corks. (finger fucking, another fun activity with a man.) A friend shows up. Her grandmother had recently been killed when a cement truck accidentally covered her with cement. While she is talking Ciccio is playing with himself. She is wearing sunglasses, and Ciccio uses them and a cigarette to make his crotch look like a face. She says that she is a virgin and will remain so until she is married. He is about to fuck another, but she wants him to do so without a condom. She reveals that she wants to get pregnant. He throws her out of bed. A nurse comes to check on him. As they are talking the nurse takes off his clothes and tries to convince Ciccio to let him give him a blow job. This doesn't happen. (unfortunately) One woman has taken a pill that makes her pass out mid blowjob. The police show up while she is out, and he moves her under the bed clothes. While the police officer is talking to him she revives. She crawls out and says that she likes women in uniform. A woman calls claiming to have dialed the wrong number. He reads to her a couple of stories that he has written. They combine sex and violence. He also plays with a vacuum cleaner. There is a noose in his room, but it is never explained why. It is a funny, sexy movie.  It is fun to see the skin on his scrotum move as his cock hardens and softens. The order of the things may mixed up here.

Slovenska zastava shirt v Česko hokej Jersey. Vesel sem, (Slovinský T-Shirt a český hokej Jersey. Jsem šťastná.)

This was my first purchase from eBay. This photo does not show the image of the flag well enough. Slovenia is a beautiful country that I want to visit. I have added s Slovene-English dictionary to my Amazon.com wishlist. I have a photo that shows the t-shirt better, but I look too silly in it.

To je bil moj prvi nakup iz eBay. Ta fotografija ne kaže podobe zastave dovolj dobro. Slovenija je lepa dežela, da želim obiskati. Sem dodal ov slovar Slovensko-angleški mojemu Amazon.com seznam želja. Imam fotografijo, ki prikazuje t-shirt bolje, vendar sem videti preveč neumno v njem.

Here is the Czech Hockey Jersey. It just arrived today. I am happy with it. I am waiting for a Russian one, a Soviet one and a Ukrainian one. Included with the jersey were come Hockey cards from 2003. I need to put them in a safe place where they will not be damaged. maybe some day I will be able to see a hockey match in Prague, Ljubljana, Bratislava, Odessa, Warsaw and /or Moscow.

Zde je český hokej Jersey. Je to právě dorazil dnes. Jsem spokojený s tím. Čekám na ruské jedno, sovětského jeden a ukrajinská. Součástí dres přišli Hokejové karty z roku 2003. Musím se dát je na bezpečném místě, kde nebudou poškozeny. Možná jednoho dne budu moci vidět hokejovém utkání v Praze, Lublani, Bratislavě, Varšavě, Oděse a / nebo v Moskvě.

Another Kinky Post

When I was living in another city I met a man through a watersports website. I saw him a couple of times. He stopped by a couple of times to pee, and I was his urinal. He was surprised that I was able to swallow every drop. He peed a lot both times, and it had a nice, strong taste. He apologized for the strong time, but I said that I liked it that way. I would continue to suck him after he finished pissing. He got hard both times, but he only came the first time. He wanted to pull my cock out while I was taking care of him, because he wanted to be sure that I was enjoying it too. I did not see him again. He entered into a relationship. He later wanted to get together again, but I had moved to Kansas. I would like to see him again. He is a very handsome man with yummy piss and cum, a good kisses too. There was a married man I met through the same site. We had fun, but something was missing. I am not sure what it was, we would play in the tub. We would pee in and on each other. At least he peed in my mouth after he came in it. He went to bath houses often where he had sex with multiple men. I did have fun with him. He wanted me to give him golden showers, and I enjoyed drinking his piss and swallowing his cum. We did snowball one time. I came in his mouth, and we kissed and he passed my cum back into my mouth. That was hot. Another hot time I had sucking cock was with a man who was watching TV as I sucked him. He gave me little attention, but he did shoot a nice load in my mouth. He gave me his phone number, but I threw it away. Later I sort of wished I had kept it, but with him once was enough. I will write later some more about some restroom action.

Sexual Fantasies

I sometimes fantasize about what it would be like to go to an event where men are getting and giving blow jobs in public. I wonder if I would find men who would let me suck them and to be their urinal. I know I would be turned on by sucking cock in public. I would also like very much to be with a man who would let me only suck and drink from him. With or without a leash I would stay by his side unless he sent me on an errand. I would also enjoy it if he would let me suck and be a urinal for his friends, but they would have to get his permission from him first. I would be proud of being able to please my man. I would enjoy being with a man who allowed me to have sex with his friends, but I would prefer a relationship where I am expected to be faithful to him. It would be nice if I could find a man to marry. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to give a man a blow job in front of his wife or girlfriend. It might be fun. I have only kisses and cuddled in a mixed group of people, and we were on the periphery. Some things may only remain fantasies, but I have learned never to say never.

Je fantasme parfois sur ce que ce serait comme aller à un événement où les hommes sont de plus et de donner des fellations en public. Je me demande si je voulais trouver des hommes qui me permettrait de les sucer et être leur urinoir. Je sais que je serais retourné sur les par sucer la bite en public. Je aimerais aussi que beaucoup d'être avec un homme qui me permettrait de ne suce et boire de lui. Avec ou sans laisse, je resterais à côté de lui à moins qu'il m'a envoyé faire une course. Je voudrais aussi en profiter se il me laisserait suce et être un urinoir pour ses amis, mais ils auraient pour obtenir son autorisation de lui en premier. Je serais fier de pouvoir faire plaisir à mon homme. Je voudrais profiter d'être avec un homme qui m'a permis d'avoir des relations sexuelles avec ses amis, mais je préférerais une relation où je suis censé lui être fidèle. Ce serait bien si je pouvais trouver un homme de se marier. Je me demande parfois ce que ce serait comme donner à un homme une fellation en face de sa femme ou petite amie. Il peut être amusant. Je ne ai que des baisers et se blottit dans un groupe mixte de personnes, et nous étions à la périphérie. Certaines choses ne peuvent rester fantasmes, mais je ai appris à ne jamais dire jamais.

Sem včasih fantazirajo o tem, kaj bi bilo všeč, da gredo na dogodku, kjer so moški dobili in daje udarec delovnih mest v javnosti. Zanima me, če bi se mi zdi moških, ki bi mi jih zanič in da je njihov pisoar. Vem, da bi vklopljen sesanju petelin v javnosti. Jaz bi tudi zelo všeč, da se z moškim, ki bi mi samo sesati in pijte iz njega. Z ali brez povodca bi ostal ob strani, če me je poslala po opravkih. Prav tako bi ga imeli, če bi mu mi sesati in se pisoar za svoje prijatelje, ki pa bi jih morali dobiti njegovo dovoljenje od njega prvič. Jaz bi bil ponosen, da lahko prosim mojega moža. Jaz bi uživali z moškim, ki mi je omogočila, da imajo spolne odnose s prijatelji, ampak jaz bi raje odnos, kjer sem pričakuje, da bo zvest do njega. Bilo bi lepo, če bi lahko našla moškega, da se poroči. Včasih se sprašujem, kaj bi bilo všeč, da bi človeku fafanje pred svojo ženo ali punco. To bi bilo zabavno. Imam samo poljubi in cuddled v mešani skupini ljudi, in smo bili na obrobju. Nekatere stvari lahko ostanejo samo fantazije, ampak sem se naučil, da nikoli ne reci nikoli.

More about "Crash"

I continue to discover things about "Crash" each time I wash it. There are things also some interesting details I did not mention earlier. Rosanna Arquette plays a woman who had been seriously injured in a car crash. She wears braces on her legs. She has a scar on her leg that resembles a vagina. In one scene kisses it lovingly. Colin Seagrave is a character who works with Vaughan. They are planning on reenacting Jayne Mansfield's death. In one scene where they are discussing this Segraves is wearing a bra and fondling fake breasts. He is killed in an accident, and he is dressed as Jayne Mansfield. Elias Koteas and James Spader are very sexy in this movie.

There are things about this movie that remind me of things that have happened to me. When I was in high school I rode in a car with someone whose driving scared me. He had been in an accident in which someone had been killed. When he got a new car he had the backseat from the car in which that accident had taken place and placed in the new car. Several times he missed hitting other cars by a few inches. At one point he said, "This car would be fun to have a wreck in. It would just roll right over." There was something about him that I found sexually attractive too.

Some people find the following unbelievable, but it is true. For awhile I kept having premonitions of being hit by a car. I knew that I needed to build up my tolerance for pain. That is one of the reasons I got the piercings. I also like body piercings. I knew where I was going to be injured and how it was going to feel. I was struck by a car, and the and my tibia plateau was fractured. It felt exactly as I had thought. I remember the first time I walked along a busy street following the accident. The sound of cars was frightening. In the movie, Ballard has the same reaction to cars after his accident.

There is something about scars that I find sexy. I almost wish I could have scars without the pain of injury.

Ballard gets a tattoo with a design chosen by Vaughan, and it is placed where Vaughan wants it. I would love to be in a relationship with a man who would choose a tattoo design or design it himself. I would not know what it is until the tattoo is done. This would have to be with someone I trusted very much.

Crash (David Cronenberg 1996)

In my DVD collection I have two films with the title "Crash." One was directed in 1996 by David Cronenberg, and another directed by Paul Haggis in 2004. I just finished watching the former. I am not saying this is a perfect movie, but I would consider it one of my favorites. The music by Howard Shore definitely adds to the mood of the film, but in some of the most intense scenes there is no music except the sounds of trains and metallic sounds. These sounds to me are very musical. Throughout the movie there is sexual tension and the tension caused by the potential car crashes. The film is filled with accidental car crashes and intentional ones. The film is based on the novel Crash by J.G. Ballard, and one of the main characters, played by James Spader, is named James Ballard. Near the beginning of the movie he is involved in an automobile accident in which a man is killed. He is hurt badly as is the wife of the man who is killed. While in the hospital he enounters her, she is a doctor, Helen Remington played by Holly Hunter, and Vaughan played by Elias Koteas. Vaughan looks intensely at Ballard's wounds, and he seems to be on the verge of having an orgasm. Also while is in the hospital while he is still in bed, Ballard's wife describes the remains of a crash while she masturbates him, under the bed clothes. One of the things that Vaughan does is reenact famous car crashes. The first time, after the scene in the hospital, is at a reenactment of the car crash in which James Dean was killed. Eventually Remington, Ballard, his wife, Vaughan and others gather at the place where Vaughan works on various projects. The first time we see Vaughan and Ballard it is clear that there is an attraction there. Vaughn, standing behind Ballard, comes very close to kissing Ballard's back. When he is almost caught doing this he pretends that this was not his intention. In another scene Ballard and his wife are having sex, and she asks him if he wants to fuck Vaughan. She asks him to describe what he would do, how he would fuck him. She imagines that Vaughan has sex frequently in his car. She asks if his car smells like semen, and Ballard says that it does. There are several sex scenes that take place in or close to cars. There are several sexual pairings and three way sexual play in the movie, between men and women, two men and two women. Of course my favorite is the one between the two men. I will write more about this film later this evening along with some things in my own life that it reminds me of.

Comments Wanted

I would like to get feedback from readers. I would like to know who is reading this. What do you like about my blog? What are the areas that need improvement? I would appreciate constructive criticism in comments. Do I ramble too much in my posts? Are the posts too long or too short? I am going to continue to give my own uncensored thoughts, but I want to know what my readers think.

I have discontinued ads for at least a short time. It does not look like I will get revenue from them, and I do not like ads on my blog. I may start posting photographs.

Eine Fortsetzung der Post von heute morgen: (Sexual Content) Продолжение поста с утра: A continuation of the post from this morning:

I mentioned before that I have been fighting against a prejudice against southerners, but I am also attracted to redneck men. I am not sure why I am so turned on by the idea of sucking off a southern man from the country, especially if he is married. Well you know by now how easy it is to get me to suck a dick. I am not sure how I would react if someone with Swastika tattoos said he wanted me to give him a blowjob and be his urinal. I know if he spoke to me in German I would probably not say no. I have similar conflicting thoughts about Soviet memorabilia. I have the Soviet Hockey Jersey as well as a flask. I also have a jock strap with a hammer and sickle. I cannot say that I approve of a lot of the Soviet government's actions. I am not particularly fond of some of the stances of the Russian government, especially their actions in Ukraine and the laws against homosexuality. I do have a fondness of a lot of Russian culture. I definitely would enjoy having a Russian husband or boyfriend or a Ukrainian one or one from any of the countries in Central or Eastern Europe. I still fantasize about having a cocksucking tour of Europe. I'd just have to be sure and take knee pads. I could use my tongue to give oral pleasure and to practice speaking different languages in all of the countries where I know some of the language.

Ich schon erwähnt, dass ich gegen ein Vorurteil gegenüber dem Süden gekämpft, aber ich bin auch angezogen, um Menschen Redneck. Ich bin nicht sicher, warum ich so von der Idee, Absaugen eines südlichen Mann vom Lande, vor allem, wenn er verheiratet ist eingeschaltet. Nun, Sie wissen jetzt, wie einfach es ist, mich zu einen Schwanz lutschen. Ich bin mir nicht sicher, wie ich reagieren würde, wenn jemand mit Hakenkreuztätowierungen, sagte er wollte, dass ich ihm einen Blowjob seines Urinal geben und. Ich weiß, wenn er in Deutsch sprach zu mir, ich würde wahrscheinlich nicht nein sagen. Ich habe widersprüchliche Gedanken über die sowjetisch-ähnliche Erinnerungsstücken. Ich habe den sowjetischen Hockey Jersey sowie eine Flasche. Ich habe auch einen Tiefschutz mit einem Hammer und Sichel. Ich kann nicht sagen, dass ich zu genehmigen von vielen Aktionen der sowjetischen Regierung. Ich bin nicht besonders begeistert von einigen der Substanzen der russischen Regierung, vor allem Bewertungen ihrer Handlungen in der Ukraine und die Gesetze gegen Homosexualität. Ich habe eine Vorliebe für viele der russischen Kultur. Ich würde auf jeden Fall genießen einen russischen Mann oder Freund oder ein ukrainisch-eine oder einer aus einem der Länder in Mittel- und Osteuropa. Ich phantasieren noch darum, eine cocksucking Tour durch Europa. Ich möchte einfach nur, um sicherzustellen, und trifft die Kniepolster. Ich konnte meine Zunge verwenden, um die orale Vergnügen zu bereiten und zu üben die verschiedene Sprachen sprechen in all den Ländern, in denen ich weiß etwas von der Sprache.

Я упоминал, что я боролся против предрассудков в отношении южан, но я также привлекают быдло мужчин. Я не знаю, почему я так возбуждает идея отсасывания южного человека из страны, особенно, если он состоит в браке. Ну вы знаете теперь, как легко это, чтобы заставить меня сосать член. Я не знаю, как я бы отреагировали, если бы кто-то со свастикой тату сказал, что хочет, чтобы я дал ему минет, а быть его писсуар. Я знаю, если он говорил со мной по-немецки, я бы, наверное, не сказать нет. У меня есть противоречивые мысли о советско-подобных памятных вещей. У меня есть советский хоккей Джерси, а также флягу. У меня также есть Джок ремень с серпом и молотом. Я не могу сказать, что я одобряю много действий Советского правительства. Я не особенно люблю некоторые из позиций российского правительства, особенно Отзывы свои действия в Украине и законы против гомосексуализма. У меня есть пристрастие много русской культуры. Я бы определенно наслаждаться с русским мужем или бойфрендом или украинско-одному или один из любой из стран Центральной и Восточной Европы. Я до сих пор фантазировать о том, ебаные в рот тур по Европе. Я просто должны быть уверены, и принять наколенники. Я мог бы использовать свой язык, чтобы дать оральное удовольствие и заниматься говорящих на разных языках во всех странах, где я знаю, что некоторые из языка.

What Is Sexy About Nazi Symbolism?

I do find Skinheads sexy, but I draw the line at Nazi symbolism. The only symbol that pertains to the Nazi era in Germany is a pink triangle on my left shoulder. I do not understand why a gay man would find the wearing of Swastikas and other Nazi symbols to be sexy. Gay men were among the groups of people who were put into concentration camps by the Nazis. They were forced to wear pink triangles on their prison uniforms. I do not find any symbol of white supremacy sexy. I am against the oppression of any group of people. One t-shirt that I have, but seldom get to wear, reads "Fuck White Supremacy." I do find men with shaved heads and leather sexy, and to be honest I am attracted to one man who has a Swastika tattooed on his side. This attraction is in spite of that tattoo not because of it. The reason I am attracted to him is that I know that if I were with him I would be used as his urinal and would give him pleasure in other ways perhaps on video. That is mostly a fantasy though. I do not want to put a symbol of hate on my body. There are limits as to how far I will go in letting someone abuse me. I would role play with someone calling me a faggot as long as it is understood that I am a worthy of respect. I will put myself in a place of powerlessness with a man as long as it is understood that it I am not giving up my personal worth. There is a difference between fantasy and reality. I would still love to be submissive in front of other people as long as the one to whom I am being submissive treats me with tenderness from time to time and shows that he really loves and values me as his equal.

Getting over the fear of making mistakes in language

At times when I speak Spanish I make mistakes, but I am no longer afraid of making mistakes. I do not like making mistakes, but it is not fatal. By practicing my Spanish is getting better, and my comprehension is improving. Many times I have been afraid of making mistakes when speaking and writing, but I realize that the fear of making mistakes has hindered my progress in speaking languages. Stepping out of one's comfort zone is something that I have believed is necessary for personal growth, but I have been hesitant to do that when it comes to languages. When I was in Prague I was hesitant to speak Czech in public, and to feel more relaxed I would say, "Jsem hloupý." When I said that the person to whom I said it would say that it wasn't true. I did feel a bit stupid for making mistakes in speaking Czech. I was focusing more on what I couldn't do instead of what I could do. I still make mistakes in languages including English, but I am getting over the fear of making mistakes. When I do make mistakes I usually learn from them. I just have to get over it.

Română: altă limbă pe care mă interesează

Another languages that has interested me is Romanian. I have learned a few phrases, "te iubesc," "multumasc," "cu placere," "da" "nu" and others. It shouldn't be surprising that I am drawn to this language. It is a Romance language crossed with Slavic languages with a touch of Turkish. Also one of my favorite writers is from Romania, Eugène Ionesco, even though he did write in French. He is a big influence on my early writings. I have someone special on Facebook who is from Romania but now lives elsewhere. Romania is another country I would like to visit. I do not yet know how to pronounce some of the phrases that I know, but I will find out. I do know how to pronounce some words because of the song, "Dragostea din tei" by O-Zone. That is a fun song. I would like to find a good Romanian dictionary and a history of Romania. I also want to find some films in Romanian. I know that I cannot learn all of the languages that I want to learn, but I am going to learn as much as I can. My brain may be perverse and twisted, but it is perverse and twisted in good ways. The brains of the Tea Party are perverse and twisted, but they are perverse and twisted in totally sick ways. I am going to listen to the song mentioned above and get ready for work. My love goes out to those reading this.

Urmatorii limbi care mi-a interesate este limba română. Am învățat câteva expresii, "te iubesc", "multumasc", "cu placere", "da" "nu" și altele. Nu ar trebui să fie surprinzător că am atras la acest limbaj. Este o limbă romanică a trecut cu limbi slave, cu o atingere de turc. De asemenea, unul dintre scriitorii mei preferați este de la România, Eugène Ionesco, chiar dacă el a scris în limba franceză. El este o mare influență asupra scrierilor mele timpurii. Am pe cineva special pe Facebook, care face parte din România, dar acum trăiește în altă parte. România este o altă țară, aș dori să viziteze. Eu nu știu încă cum se pronunță unele dintre frazele pe care le cunosc, dar voi afla. Eu știu cum se pronunță câteva cuvinte, din cauza piesei "Dragostea din tei" de O-Zone. Acesta este un cântec distracție. Aș dori să găsească un bun dicționar română și o istorie de România. De asemenea, doresc să găsească unele filme în limba română. Știu că nu pot învăța toate limbile pe care le doresc să învețe, dar am de gând să învețe la fel de mult ca pot. Creierul meu poate fi pervers și răsucite, dar este pervers și răsucit în moduri bune. Creierul Tea Party sunt perverse și răsucite, dar ele sunt perverse și răsucite într-un mod cu totul bolnavi. Am de gând să ascult melodia de mai sus și pregătiți-vă pentru muncă. Dragostea mea iese la cei care citesc acest lucru.

Я сподіваюся, що після вивчення Нові способів побачити і подумати про речі. (I Hope I Stop Learning New Ways to See and Think About Things)

Sometimes it is interesting how sometimes how we see something or think can be quickly changed. Long a go a friend gave me a book that he thought was in Russian, but it was in Ukrainian. The book was printed in Toronto, and not when I think of the name of that city I see it spelled Торонто in my mind. I gave the book to the language department where I was going to school. I wish I had that book now, but I hope it was put to good use. The only book I have in Ukrainian is a Bible. I also have Bibles in French, Spanish, Polish, Czech and Slovak. When I am tired or drunk I have difficulty doing simple math in English. I have to switch to Slovak in these circumstances. Some changes can take longer. When I was in school I would drink with a friend with whom I would speak French, and still when I drink my brain starts to switch to French. Sometimes in the morning it is hard to pick the right language in which to speak to someone. Sometimes I will start to say "Gutten Morgen!" to someone who does know German. (This is funny, because I know very little German.) Or I will start to say "Good Morning in another language." Sometimes I do not talk much in the morning, because it takes too long for me to pick the right language to speak to someone. I would like to find someone who wouldn't mind if I said "Dobré ráno!" or "Добрий Ранок!" or "Доброе Утро!" or  "Dobro jutro!" I hope I never stop learning languages or learning new ways to see or think about things.

Іноді це цікаво, як іноді, як ми бачимо щось або думаємо, можна швидко змінити. Довгі йти друг дав мені книгу, яку він думав, було російською мовою, але це було українською мовою. Книга була надрукована в Торонто, і не тоді, коли я думаю про імені цього міста я бачу, що написано Торонто, на мій погляд. Я дав книгу у відділ мови, де я ходив до школи. Я б хотів цю книгу, але я сподіваюся, що це було хороше застосування. Єдина книга, я маю на українському Біблія. У мене також є Біблії на французьку, іспанську, польську, чеську та словацьку. Коли я втомився і не пив, я насилу робить просту математику англійською мовою. У мене є для перемикання на Словацька в цих обставинах. Деякі зміни можуть зайняти більше часу. Коли я був у школі, я б випити з другом, з яким я буду говорити по-французьки, і як і раніше, коли я п'ю мій мозок починає перемикатися на французькій мові. Іноді вранці важко вибрати правильну мову, на якому, щоб поговорити з кимось. Іноді я почну говорити "Гуттен Морген!" для тих, хто знає німецьку мову. (Це смішно, бо я знаю дуже небагато німецька.) Або я почну говорити "Добрий ранок іншою мовою." Іноді я не багато говорити вранці, тому що це займає надто багато часу для мене, щоб вибрати правильну мову, щоб говорити з кимось. Я хотів би знайти когось, хто не буде заперечувати, якщо я сказав "Dobré Рано!" або "Добрий Ранок"! або "Доброе Утро!" або "Ласкаво jutro!" Я сподіваюся, що я ніколи не зупинятися вивчення мов або вивчення нових способів побачити або думати про речі....

More About Coming Out in School and Feeling Like an Outsider

I was not helped in my process by most of the other gay guy sin school. There was a pressure from them to behave in a certain way and to like certain things. I was trying to get into an international dorm, and I had to go to an interview in order to do that. Usually this was done by the dorm counselor and four dorm residents, but I was interviewed by the counselor and eight residents. The person who was supposed to be interviewed before me did not show up, so the people who were set to interview that person were there for my interview. This made me a bit nervous. One of the guys did not like me for some reason that I never knew. He asked me if I liked to boogie, and I answered "some." He said, "That's too bad." I do not know if it was because I was doing better in language classes than he was or if it was because I did not act like the gay men at school. I think that he probably tried to keep me from getting in the dorm, but I got it anyway. There were some other gay guys in the dorm. I was coming to terms with being gay. Instead of helping me they seemed to try to force me out of the closet. I did not yet know about the diversity in the LGBTQ community. (It would be more accurate to speak of communities.) They did not seem to accept me as I was. I did not wear the right clothes, and I did not listen to the right music. This was the time of disco. I only enjoyed disco music if I was dancing to it. I did not really like just listening to most of it. I could not afford to go to the gay bars. There was a dance bar called Wham and a small bar called The Palms. I did not fit in at Wham. I enjoyed dancing to the music the few times I went, but no one would speak to me. I might have been more comfortable eventually at The Palms, but I did not want to go by myself. The only people I found who were willing to help me to discover who I was as a gay man were heterosexuals. The other gay guys probably went to the same thing that I did, but they did know how to deal with someone who was different from them. I am not saying they were wrong in being who they were. I am only saying that I needed to find my own path.

There still seems to be a division among gay men. I like to blend things. I still like to dance to disco and techno and other dance music. I like to blend masculine and feminine. I like some country music, the rowdy music like Hank Williams III. I would like to dress in leather sometimes. There are some things that I like about BDSM. I definitely like punk. I do not want to limit myself to any one of these. I am submissive, but only with men with whom I want to be submissive. I do not put up with that shit from anybody else. I know that there are other guys who feel the same way that I do, and gradually I am meeting more of us.

I Am not Ashamed of Enjoying Having Sex or Watching Porn

I do not that we should be ashamed of what we do in our sex lives as long as those involved in what we do are of legal age and all acts are consensual. I do not see anything shameful about watching pornography as long as those who appear in what we are watching are not coerced into doing so. I do not have anything against straight or bi porn, but I do not have any interest in watching it. Well I guess the film "Uncut Members Only" would be considered porn by most people, well softcore porn. It is an Italian film with Franco Trentalance, an Italian porn star. Most of the film is a close-up of his bare genitals. I plan on watching it again soon, and I will write more about it later. It has a plot. Anyway, back to what I was saying about not being ashamed about watching porn. I like most kinds of gay porn, but fisting looks too painful to me. I am not interested in seeing men taking very large objects in their asses. I am more of a cocksucker. I do like to fuck men as long as they are the ones in control of what is being done. I do like watching porn that shows oral sex, water sports and fucking, but I am getting more adventurous. Some people are aroused by making porn and thinking that people might masturbate while seeing them nude, jerking off or having sex. If I had the opportunity to make porn I might not say no, as long as it does not involve acting. I don't know if I could act.

A Rant About the Republican Form of Prostitution

When the Republicans say that they do not want government interference in people's lives is that they do not want the government to stop them from spreading their hatred of anyone who is not a rich white heterosexual Christian man. They want to repeal the Affordable Care Act. They clam that it isn't working. This is not true. The numbers tell that it is true. More people have insurance that would not have it before. The Republicans want to eliminate any government program that benefits those in need. They do not want to raise the minimum wage, but those working minimum-wage jobs need government assistance to meet their basic needs to survive. They claim that raising the minimum wage would cost jobs, yet they say nothing about how much the excessive wages of CEO's is hurting the economy. They care nothing about the people they are supposed to represent. They only care about the people who can give them money. They may not get fucked for money, but they prostitute themselves to people like the Koch brothers by giving in to their demands. The Koch brothers give billions of dollars to buy elections and politicians. They do not want Citizens United to be overturned, because their only interest is in getting money from the rich and letting the rich steal from the government by not paying their fair share of taxes.  They would not to legalize sexual prostitution, but they want their own form of prostitution to be legal. They want to be able to fuck the planet. They do not care if the ecology is completely by the removal of limits on pollution. They claim to stand for freedom around the world, but they are only interested in ending oppression if they have interest in getting oil or cheap labor from the country in question. They do not want one man to be able to fuck another man, but they want to be able to fuck the poor in other ways. They claim to be pro-life, but they are simply anti-abortion. Once a baby is born they care nothing about the child or mother's health. It is time to tell the Republican Party to go fuck itself. We don't need them anymore.

Another Reason to Love Henry Rollins; We in the LGBTQ Community Need to Embrace Diversity Within the Community

To be honest I first was drawn to listen to the music of Henry Rollins and the Rollins Band and Black Flag, because I think he is very sexy. I have long been a fan of punk music. Now there is another reason I consider myself one of his fans. He has been outspoken in his support of LGBT rights. I have a long list of CDs I want to buy, and Black Flag and Rollins Band CD's are on that list. I would buy them based solely on the music, but his speaking out in support of single-sex marriage has made me want them more. He is still a hot man.

We in the LGBTQ need to accept all of the members of our community. We are a diverse group of people. Some people want to exclude others for various reasons. They say some men are too flamboyant. Some want to exclude people who are proudly promiscuous. Some want to exclude those who are not Christians. Some people look down at those who do porn. We need to be more accepting of each other and work together for the rights of all. We face enough discrimination from outside of the LGBTQ community. Let's stop discriminating against each other. When we stand together we are stronger. We use a rainbow flag to reflect diversity. It is time to really embrace this diversity.

Gefangen: Softcore Porn, A Guilty Pleasure, but not for the Reasons Intended

I just watched "Gegangen" (American Title - "Locked Up"). It is really softcore porn. It was released in the "Guilty Pleasure Collection" from TLA Releasing. It was made by Cazzo films,  a German porn company based in Berlin. Some of the acting in the film leaves something to be desired. For me the guilty pleasure does not come from the sex, but the poor acting. The sex scenes are very hot. There are some scenes where men are fighting, but these scenes seem very fake. Marcel Schlutt plays a guy who is in jail for credit card fraud. He meets and falls in love with  a black guy who grew up in the U.S.A., played by Michael Sale. Michael Sale is very sexy, but his acting is unconvincing. He is seen hitting a few guys, but it is obvious that he does not hit them very hard. His dialogue is in English. Michael Schlutt has done gay porn. He is very cute in this film. There are some skinheads who basically run the prison on the inside. The skinheads have someone they call "punk" whom they force to clean their cells including the toilets. They spit on him on screen, and it is learned that they frequently rape him. He says that their behavior towards does not affect him any longer, but it becomes clear that this is not true. There are some tender scenes between the two lovers. The skinheads become upset that Dennis, the character played by Marcel Schlutt, is involved with a black man. Some of the scenes that are supposed to be violent are rather funny. The DVD does have some outtakes that are hot. It is an enjoyable piece of fluff, and it can be useful for jerk-off material. If you are looking for hardcore skinhead action look elsewhere.

Krysař, the Musical by Daniel Landa

I am listening to the soundtrack to Daniel Landa's musical "Krysař." I was happy when I got home from work and it had arrived. It has the lyrics, so I will be able to look at them as I listen to it. There is a video of the musical posted on YouTube, and I hope to watch that soon. I am thoroughly enjoying the music. I am not usually not a big fan of musicals. I do like a few of them. Daniel played the title character. He also wrote the music, lyrics and arranged and produced it. It has a smooth blend or rock and "musical" style of music. It has rock-style singing and singing that is more like the typical musical style.  The Title is translated into English as "The Pied Piper." It was first performed in 1996, and was directed by his wife, Mirjam Landa. The Soundtrack was released that year in two volumes. Now it is available as one double CD package. I will be glad when my Czech is better, and I can understand more of what is being sung. Seeing the lyrics while listening will help, and I will be able to tell more what the musical is about when I watch the video, but the title may be a big hint. Daniel Landa seems to have an interesting career. He had the skinhead band, Orlík. He has written two musicals, this one and "Tajemství." He graduated with honors from the Prague Conservatory. He has released solo albums.

I ordered this CD through Amazon.com from a store in Prague. They have more CD's by Daniel Landa, and I hope eventually to order some of the others. I am excited that I will be able to do this, but I will have to be careful to do slowly. I need to be careful with money.

Einstürzende Neubauten: Soundtrack for Dungeon Play?

Einstürzende Neubauten is a band I wish I could have seen in their earlier days when their music was more experimental and more painful. They remind me of some Dada and composers like John Cage and the composers of concrete music. They use things that many people would not think of using as musical instruments. There earlier music videos have a definite Dadaesque feel. There live video for "Armenia" shows them beating on different pieces of metal and large metal springs. It looks like they are playing in the ruins of buildings that have been torn down as referred to in the band's name. I prefer their songs in German. That does not mean that I do not like the ones on English. I really like those too. I like Blixa Bargeld's hairstyles in their early videos when it was more spiky and punkish. In one of their songs there is the sound of someone playing with water, and in another there is the sound of water dripping on a hot stove top. They also used a metal shopping cart as a musical instrument. I prefer listening to music at a high volume. Their music could be used for dungeon play.

I could enjoy dungeon play to an extent, and it would have to be with someone I trust completely. It can be hard for me to give up control like that with someone. I definitely would not want to be fisted. I cannot get my finger in my hole. For the right man or men I would like to be able to loosen up my anus enough to get fucked. There is an appeal to the idea of lying in a sling with several men standing around me pissing on me. They take turns urinating in my mouth and they all shoot their cum in my mouth. I am a bit of an exhibitionist, and I like to be seen giving pleasure to a man. I would not want there to be excessive pain. I do not know how much pain I can take. I may find out some day. Who knows?

I have not forgotten some of the things I said I would write more about, but I need to masturbate before I go to work. That last paragraph has me turned on.

Einstürzende Neubauten ist eine Band, die ich wünschte, ich könnte in ihren früheren Tagen gesehen haben, als ihre Musik war eher experimentell und schmerzhafter. Sie erinnern mich an einige Dada und Komponisten wie John Cage und die Komponisten der konkreten Musik. Sie nutzen die Dinge, die viele Menschen nicht der Verwendung als Musikinstrumente zu denken. Es früher Musikvideos haben eine bestimmte Dadaesque Gefühl. Es leben Video zu "Armenien" zeigt sie auf verschiedenen Metallstücke und großen Metallfedern zu schlagen. Es sieht aus wie sie in den Ruinen der Gebäude, die abgerissen wurden, um in den Namen der Band bezeichnet spielen. Ich bevorzuge die Songs in deutscher Sprache. Das heißt nicht, dass ich nicht wie die, die auf Englisch. Ich mag diese Module. Ich mag Blixa Bargeld Frisuren in ihren frühen Videos, wenn es war spitze und punkish. In einem ihrer Songs gibt es das Geräusch von jemandem mit Wasser spielen, und in einem anderen gibt es den Klang der Wassertropfen auf einer heißen Herdplatte. Sie verwendeten auch ein Metall Warenkorb als Musikinstrument. Ich bevorzuge das Hören von Musik mit hoher Lautstärke. Ihre Musik könnte für Dungeon Spiel verwendet werden.

Ich konnte Dungeon Spiel in einem Umfang zu genießen, und es müsste mit jemandem, den ich völlig vertrauen. Es kann schwierig sein für mich, die Kontrolle so mit jemandem. Ich auf jeden Fall möchte nicht gefistet werden. Ich kann meine Finger in meinem Loch nicht zu bekommen. Für den richtigen Mann oder die Männer würden Ich mag in der Lage sein zu lockern meinen Anus genug gefickt werden. Es ist ein Appell an die Idee, liegend in einer Schlinge mit mehreren Männern, die um mich pissen auf mich. Sie wechseln sich beim Wasserlassen in den Mund, und sie alle ihr Sperma in den Mund schießen. Ich bin ein bisschen ein Exhibitionist, und Ich mag zu sehen, die Vergnügen mit einem Mann. Ich möchte nicht, dass es zu übermäßigen Schmerzen. Ich weiß nicht, wie viel Schmerz Ich kann dauern. Ich kann herausfinden, eines Tages. Wer weiß?

Ich habe einige der Dinge, sagte ich, ich würde mehr darüber zu schreiben vergessen, aber ich brauche, um zu masturbieren, bevor ich zur Arbeit gehen. Das letzte Absatz hat mich eingeschaltet.

Ich hoffe, dass richtig übersetzt wird. Ich musste Google Tramslate verwenden.

Patti Smith and Robert Mapplethorpe

Patti Smith is another of my favorite singers. I started listening to her music after she had released three albums. My favorite is "Radio Ethiopia." It is her most experimental. It is hard to believe that it was released thirty-nine years ago. She wrote poetry before becoming a singer. She had a relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe. He did the cover photographs for several of her albums. She is sometimes called the "poet laureate of punk music." I was introduced to her music by a friend who said it was good music to listen to when depressed. I had been listening to Janis Ian when depressed, and that can be cathartic in that situation. I can listen to both of them in any mood. Patti Smith's first single was "Piss Factory" which was inspired by her first job in a factory. My favorite songs on "Radio Ethiopia" are "Pissing in a River" and "Pumping (My Heart)" There is strength in her songs both musically and lyrically. I only have a couple of her albums on CD now. I want to replace the others. I never get tired of her music.

I have several books of the photography of Robert Mapplethorpe. The first photograph that I saw that depicted water sports was the one he did of two guys in leather with one guy pissing into the mouth of the other. He did some very sexy photography and some other beautiful photographs. He was also a very handsome man. He was very good at capturing the beauty of the male physique. Some people said that he objectified black men, but I think he was just showing great-looking men. One of my favorites is "Man in a Polyester Suit." It shows a man with his cock sticking out of the fly of his pants. I do love that sight. I imagine a man pulling his cock out of his pants for me to suck. I'll write more about his photographs when I get my brain recharged.

Les Fleurs du mal in drugih knjig, berem in še nekaj drugih misli :Les fleurs du mal and other books I am reading and some other thoughts.

I started reading Les fleurs du mal yesterday, It is a book of poetry by Charles Baudelaire published in 1857. Well, actually I only read the introduction by Sartre. (The introduction was taken from a book that Sartre wrote on Baudelaire. The poems deal with decadence, death and eroticism. Some of the poems were considered very shocking at the time they were published. They would be popular with goths today. Baudelaire was fond of the writings of Edgar Allan Poe, and he translated his writings into French. This is a book that can be read in parts as I read other things.

I am also reading In Defense of Lost Causes by Slavoj Žižek. On the back cover of the book it says "In this combative, major new work, philosophical sharpshooter Slavoj Žižek looks for the kernel truth in the totalitarian politics of the past." As in his other books, he brings to me a new way of looking at some things, and he also reinforces my point of view concerning others, I definitely would not want to live under a totalitarian regime. I believe too strongly in individual freedoms for that. I will write more on this as I read more of this interesting book.

I am also reading a couple of books on blogging and continuing gradually to  read The Making of Americans by Gertrude Stein. I think that after reading the Žižek I may need to take a break and reread Assholes Finish First by Tucker Max. I also want to reread some books by Camus and Sartre.

When I changed my name in Kansas I was tempted to change my last name to Smrt, to make my name Vlk Bruce Smrt, but I would have had to put a legal notice in the paper, because it would be considered a major name change. Changing my first name was considered a minor change. I do like the sound of "smrt." People often want to put a vowel in my first name. It would be funny to see the reactions of people if I had no vowels in my first name or last name.

There is a quote from Gertrude Stein that occasionally pops into my mind, "If perfection is good more perfection is better." "If" is an important word there. She did not say whether or not perfection is good. To me perfection tends not to be very interesting. Sometimes unintended imperfections can make things more interesting if not amusing.

Začel sem branje Les fleurs du mal včeraj, je knjiga poezije Charlesa Baudelaira objavljen v 1857. No, v bistvu sem samo prebral uvod Sartra. (Vnos je bil vzet iz knjige, ki Sartre napisal na Baudelaira. Pesmi se ukvarjajo z dekadenco, smrti in erotike. Nekatere pesmi so bile obravnavane zelo šokantno času, ko so bile objavljene. Prav bi bilo priljubljena z Goti danes. Baudelaire je bil navdušen od spisih Edgar Allan Poe, in je prevedena njegova dela v francoščino. To je knjiga, ki jo je mogoče brati v delih, kot sem prebral druge stvari.

Jaz sem tudi branje v bran Lost Causes Slavoj Žižek. Na zadnji platnici knjige piše "V tem bojevite, večje novo delo, filozofska Snajper Slavoj Žižek išče resnico jedra v totalitarni politiki iz preteklosti." Tako kot v drugih njegovih knjig, mu prinaša zame nov način gledanja na nekatere stvari, in je prav tako utrjuje moje stališče v zvezi z drugim, jaz zagotovo ne bi želeli živeti pod totalitarnim režimom. Verjamem preveč močno v posameznih svoboščin za to. Bom napisal več o tem, kot sem prebral več o tem zanimivo knjigo.

Jaz sem tudi branje nekaj knjig o blogging in se nadaljuje postopno, da se glasi izdelavo Američanov po Gertrude Stein. Mislim, da po branju Žižka sem morda morali vzeti odmor in prebrala kreteni Finish najprej Tucker Max. Rad bi tudi prebrala nekaj knjig po Camusa in Sartra.

Ko sem spremenila svoje ime v Kansasu sem bil v skušnjavi, da spremenim priimek na smrt, da bi moje ime Vlk Bruce smrt, vendar bi moral dati pravno obvestilo na papirju, ker bi se zdelo velika sprememba imena. Spreminjanje moje ime je štelo manjša sprememba. Storim všeč zvok "smrt". Ljudje pogosto želijo postaviti samoglasnik v mojem prvem imenu. Bilo bi smešno, da vidim reakcije ljudi, če bom imel nobenih samoglasnike v mojem imenu ali priimku.

Tukaj je citat iz Gertrude Stein, da občasno pride na misel: "Če popolnost je dobro bolj popolnost je bolje." "Če" je pomembna beseda tam. Ona ni povedal, ali je popolnost dobro. Za mene popolnost nagiba ne bi bilo zelo zanimivo. Včasih lahko nenamerne nepravilnosti bi stvari bolj zanimive, če ni zabavno.

A Brief Introduction to Some of My Fetishes.

I enjoy blending different styles of clothing. Masculine and feminine, business and leather, punk and preppy, etc. I have a pair of imitation leather pants, but I may not be able to fit into them, I have gained weight since I last wore them. emphasize the crotch area. I have worn those with long t-shirts or in some places without a shirt. I have worn them with heels and work boots. I wile wearing a suit with a leather studded collar. I have a bit of an underwear fetish. I have jock straps, thongs, briefs, boxer briefs, boxers, lace panties made for men (they have more room in the crotch), underwear that are open in the back, etc. I like wear butch clothing with feminine underwear. I would love to dress in a way that is pleasing to a man. I like wearing a hockey jersey, jeans, work boots and lace panties. I do not think I would dress in drag. I do not have anything against it, but I just do not look good dressed that way. I have learned that it is dangerous to say never. If a man did not want me to wear lace underwear with him I would not do so. I like dressing in different ways. I would like to be able to get a pair chaps. What I wore with them, if anything, would depend on the mat with whom I am going out. I am very much a sub. I believe in enjoying life, and dressing in different ways is one of the ways in which I enjoy life. Whether or not I write more about my fetishes depends on what feedback I get about this post.

Daniel Landa, Orlík and Memories of Prague

I am listening to Daniel Landa. I would like to be able to find more of his CD's, but at least I can listen to some of them on YouTube. What I like most about the music of his group Orlík is their energy. They still remain a guilty pleasure. My favorite of the songs that I have heard from him as a solo artist is "Protestsong." What I like most about the music of Orlík is that it brings back memories of my visit to Prague. It was eleven years ago, but listening to them brings it back to me as if it were yesterday. I remember going into a small music store on Václavské náměstí and finding their CD "Demise." (I started with Daniel Landa, but now I am listening to that CD. It fits my mood.) When I went up to buy the CD the cashier was speaking to the customer in front of me in English. When I walked up, she addressed me in German. I could tell from context and the little German I know what she was saying. Often people think I am German, and she probably did not think that an American would buy that CD. When I left the store people addressed me in Czech, Slovak and English. I also have memories of listening to the CD while walking around Karlův most. It was just great to listen to that music while walking around Prague. Both of the places I mentioned are big tourist sites, but when I was there I was not treated like a tourist mostly. I was approached by one guy who tried to get me to let him exchange some money. He thought I was German or English. I could not convince him that I am American. Anyway, the video for "Protestsong" was made on that bridge. I also think that Daniel Landa is sexy. He is a skinhead, but I do not know how open minded he is.

This is going to be a good day even though I am going to work. I will not let the idiotic behavior of a few people affect my mood. I can only control my own reaction. I will just be myself, and they can go fuck themselves.

I want a man who will acknowledge our relationship publicly. (Some Sexual Content)

I have known guys who will only speak to me when there is no one else around. There is a guy where I work who, when no one else is around, calls me buddy, but when there are other people around he acts like he doesn't see me. I do not know why they act like that. There have been a few times that guys who treated me like that really wanted me to suck their dicks. I guess they did not want people to connect them to a cocksucker. Oh well. They wanted to use me go get their rocks, but I just used them to get a load of cum. I would not expect an emotional connection with guys like that. I would prefer to be in a relationship with someone who will acknowledge our relationship in front of others. Nothing kills a relationship than having to hide it from other people. It can be fun to have a secret sexual relationship, but that is not very fulfilling. I would really like to have a relationship with someone who is willing to hold hands or kiss me in front of other people. I had a friend who a few times surprised me with a kiss, and once when we were walking in a mall he kept placing his hand in the small of my back. I want a man who is not afraid to let other people know that we love each other and that we have sex together. When I was the pet to a Master I wanted to have "Property of my Master"tattooed on my ass. I do have a tag on a collar I wear. It says, "Property of (his name)." He is not my Master now, but he is a very dear friend, and I would do anything he wanted. As for those who only speak to me when no one else is around. I will speak to them when they speak to me. I don't worry about them not speaking to me at other times. Who knows I might get a mouth full of cock then cum and/or pee.

"Cigaretka na 2 t'ahy"

I am listening to one of my favorite songs, "Cigaretka na 2 t'ahy" by Richard Müller. I remember hearing the song for the first time when I was first starting to learn some Slovak, and I was able to figure out what some of the lyrics were without seeing the title. I knew he was singing about smoking a cigarette in two puffs. It had been a long time since I had had any contact with Slavic languages when I first started studying Slovak, and it was like seeing an old friend I had not seen in years. It reawakened my dormant connection with them. Instead of regretting not having studied languages for so long I decided to get started again. I had a friend who thought that it was because of a man that I had an interest in Slovak and Czech. I wanted to start learning Slovak, because I was a bit intimidated by Czech. I do want to learn both along with some other languages that I have mentioned. One of my dream situations would be to live spring in Prague, Czech Republic, summer in Poprad Slovakia, fall in Łódź, Poland and winter in Ljubljana, Slovenia. With travels to other places, taking trips to Lawrence, Kansas. When I dream I dream big. I will not give up my dreams.

Já poslouchám jeden z mých oblíbených písniček, "Cigaretka na 2 t'ahy" od Richarda Müllera. Vzpomínám si, slyšel píseň poprvé, kdy jsem byl poprvé začínáte učit nějaké slovenštiny, a byl jsem schopen přijít na to, co někteří z textů vlkodlaka, aniž by viděl titul. Věděl jsem, co se zpívá o kouření cigaret ve dvou pusinky. Bylo to už dávno, co jsem měl nějaký kontakt s slovanských jazyků Když jsem poprvé začal studovat slovenštinu, a bylo to jako vidět dávného přítele jsem neviděla roky. To probudila mé spící spojení s nimi. Místo toho lituje, nemají studovaných jazyků tak dlouho jsem se rozhodl začít znovu. Měl jsem kamaráda, který si myslel, že udělal: kvůli tomu, co člověka, který jsem měl zájem slovenštiny a češtiny. Chtěl jsem se začít učit slovenštinu ,:, protože jsem byl trochu zastrašit Czech. Chci se učit Jak alongwith některé další jazyky udělal jsem se již zmínil. Jeden z mých snů situací by bylo žít na jaře v Praze, České republice, na Slovensku v Popradu léto, podzim v Lodži, v Polsku a v zimě ve slovinské Lublani. U cest do okolí, přičemž výlety do Lawrence, Kansas. Když sním jsem velký sen. Nebudu vzdát své sny.

Ja počúvam jeden z mojich obľúbených pesničiek, "Cigaretka na 2 t'ahy" od Richarda Müllera. Spomínam si, počul pieseň prvýkrát, kedy som bol prvýkrát začínate učiť nejaké slovenčiny, a bol som schopný prísť na to, čo niektorí z textov vlkolaka, bez videl titul. Vedel som, čo sa spieva o fajčení cigariet vo dvoch pusinky. Bolo to už dávno, čo som mal nejaký kontakt s slovanských jazykov Keď som prvýkrát začal študovať slovenčinu, a bolo to ako vidieť dávneho priateľa som nevidela roky. To prebudila moje spiace spojenie s nimi. Namiesto toho ľutuje, nemajú študovaných jazykov tak dlho som sa rozhodol začať znova. Mal som kamaráta, ktorý si myslel, že urobil: kvôli tomu, čo človeka, ktorý som mal záujem slovenčiny a češtiny. Chcel som sa začať učiť slovenčinu,:, pretože som bol trochu zastrašiť Czech. Chcem sa učiť Ako alongwith niektoré ďalšie jazyky urobil som sa už zmienil. Jeden z mojich snov situácií by bolo žiť na jar v Prahe, Českej republike, na slovenských v Poprade leto, jeseň v Lodži, v Poľsku a v zime v slovinskej Ľubľane. U ciest do okolia, pričom výlety do Lawrence, Kansas. Keď zjem som veľký sen. Nebudem vzdať svoje sny.

Słucham jednej z moich ulubionych piosenek, "Cigaretka na 2 t'ahy" Richard Müller. Pamiętam, słysząc piosenkę po raz pierwszy, kiedy po raz pierwszy zaczynają uczyć się trochę Słowacki, i byłem w stanie dowiedzieć się, co niektóre z wilkołaka piosenki, nie widząc tytuł. Wiedziałem, co on śpiewa o palenie papierosów w dwóch pociągnięć. To było dawno nie miał żadnego kontaktu z języków słowiańskich Kiedy zaczynałem studia Słowacki, i to było jak widząc starego przyjaciela nie widziałem od lat. To obudził moje uśpione połączenie z nimi. Zamiast ubolewając, nie mając badanych językach tak długo, postanowiłem zacząć ponownie. Miałem przyjaciela, który myślał, że tak: to, co w człowieku, że miałem interes w słowackim i czeskim. Chciałem, aby rozpocząć naukę słowacki ,: bo był nieco onieśmielony Czech. Chcę się nauczyć Zarówno wynajęliśmy niektóre inne języki nie wspomniałem. Jednym z moich marzeń sytuacji byłoby żyć sprężynę w Pradze, Republika Czeska, Słowacja Poprad w lato, jesień w Łodzi, jak i zimą w Lublanie w Słowenii. Z podróży do innych miejsc, biorąc wycieczki do Lawrence w stanie Kansas. Gdy marzę Marzę duże. Nie dam się moje marzenia.

Jaz sem poslušal enega od mojih najljubših pesmi, "Cigaretka na 2 t'ahy" Richard Müller. Spomnim se, da sem predstavitvi pesem prvič, ko sem bil prvič začeli učiti nekaj slovaško, in sem bil sposoben, da ugotovimo, kaj nekatere lyrics volkodlaka ne da bi videl naslov. Vedel sem, kaj je petje o kajenju cigaret na dva vpiha. To je bilo dolgo časa, saj sem imel nobenega stika s slovanskimi jeziki Ko sem prvič začel učiti slovaško, in bilo je, kot vidim starega prijatelja nisem videl v zadnjih letih. To prebujajoĉih mojo spečo povezavo z njimi. Namesto, da obžaluje, nimajo od preučevanih jezikih, za tako dolgo, sem se odločil, da se ponovno začeli. Imel sem prijatelja, ki je mislil, da je to storil: zaradi tega, kar človek, ki sem ga imel interes v slovaškem in češkem. Hotela sem začeti učiti slovaško ,: ker sem bil malce prestraši češčini. Jaz želim, da se naučijo Oba alongwith nekateri drugi jeziki naredil sem že omenil. Eden od mojih sanjskih situacijah bi bilo živeti pomlad v Pragi, na Češkem, Slovaškem Poprad poleti, sodijo v Lodžu, Poljska in pozimi v Ljubljani, Slovenija. Pri potovanjih v druge kraje, ki so jemali izlete v Lawrence, Kansas. Ko Sanjam Sanjam velik. Ne bom dal moje sanje.

Open-Minded Skinheads are Sexy

I do find skinheads sexy, but only if they are open minded. I definitely find gay skinheads sexy. It would be hot to find a German gay skinhead, but not a racist, sexist or fascist one. One who would be part of Anti-Racist Action (A.R.A.) or Skinheads Against Racial Prejudice (S.H.A.R.P.). I had my head shaved for a while, and I may do it again. I haven't decided yet. I definitely would not mind being obedient to a gay skinhead Master. It would be fun to go to a bar with him while he has me on a leash. For the right man I do like being very obedient. I would not mind licking his boots, but I would prefer sucking on his socked feet and then taking his socks off of him and licking his feet and sucking on his toes. I do not know how strong a foot odor I could take, I would like to find out. I do like the smells of a man's body as long as he bathes more than once a week.

I like a wide variety of men. Mostly I like a man who is comfortable with who he is, and will accept me as I am. I have a wide range of fetishes, and I may write about them. That does not mean I do not want a healthy loving relationship, but I think that playing with fetishes can be part of a healthy, loving relationship. If I get in a relationship with a man I would love for people to know that I am obedient to him as long as he treats me with love and respect.

Another fun date would be to go to a fetish bar with a gay skinhead wearing nothing but Bundeswehr boots and a collar and leash, maybe a yellow jockstrap.

Some Things I Left Out About the Fiasco in Rhode Island: The Kinky Part

Before I had moved to Rhode Island I had wanted to visit for a week to see how this guy and I would get along. He wanted me to move there without visiting first. I should have listened to my gut and not move, but I was going to have to find a place to live. We had chatted on Facebook, texted and talked on the phone. I was also getting a bit burnt out on my job. He promised to help me to find a job, and he had made other promises that were attractive to my kinky side, He had also promised to give me time to adjust to living in the new situation. He had a man living with him, and this guy, douche 2, took care of douche 1's grandson and the house. Douche 2 was on disability. I knew that I would be sleeping between them, but I did not know that both of them rarely bathed. Douche 1 slept in the same clothes in which he worked, and douche 1 took one shower during the month I was there.  I do like man odors, but there are some limits.Douche 1 did keep some promises. He greeted me with a kiss at the airport, and he had a ring that he had bought for me. He also had bought a chastity device that he had promised, but it would not stay on. To be honest the only chastity device that would work for me would be one that keeps a cock from entering my mouth. He had told me that douche 2 liked to keep house in a certain way, and he did not want me to interfere with that. I agreed to that, but when I got there I realized that there was very little cleaning being done. There was dog shit in some of the rooms. Douche 2 complained to the other douche that I was treating him like a slave. It was then that I was told that I was supposed to ask what he wanted me to do, but it was hard for me to trust someone who would not speak to me directly when he had a problem with me. I had been told that there were a lot of jobs in the town where they lived, and douche 1 promised to help me find a job. There were few jobs available there, and Douche 1 said he did not have time to help me.

What had attracted me to douche 1 was that he was going to be my Master, and he was going to give me all of his pee whenever we were together. He had promised that if were out together in public and he needed to pee he would take me with him into the stall of a restroom and use me as his urinal. He also promised that I would get all of his pee at home. We did go shopping together once while I was there, but he did not pee while we were out. I did not get all of his pee at home. He would always start peeing before I could get his cock in my mouth. I wanted to drink all of it. He had promised that we would take showers together, and he would pee on me then. He didn't take showers or bathe. He had talked about buying a cottage in the country where we would spend time together alone. I do not know if that would have happened if I had stayed, but I doubt that it would have. He had also promised that we would go places in the country where I would be urinal whenever he wanted. He had said that I would occasionally suck off Douche 2 in front of him, and I did that. Douche 1 took a photo of me sucking the other guy. I wish I had that photo. He also talked about taking me to leather bars where I would be his urinal in front of other guys. That idea excited me.

Douche 1 had talked about having me get a tattoo on my ass that said "Property of 'Douche 1,'" but I had said I would have to wait to make sure before I had his name tattooed on my body. He had also talked about me having my last name changed. I said that I would consider having a hyphenated last name. These things did make me a bit uneasy before I went there, but I ignored that gut feeling. He had said that I would not have a lot of room to keep my belongings, but I did not realize how little room I would have.

In order to move away from him I had to close out my 401k. I had to find a place to live. I could not find anywhere in Kansas, and that is how I ended up back in my hometown living with my sister without money and job. He never apologized. He only said that I just did not fit in.

Loka Nunda

I discovered the music of Loka Nunda on Facebook. I am listening ti his CD "Stomp Stomp" now. He is a gay singer from Australia. He is also a gay skinhead in his music videos. He has performed with Nina Hagen. As I have said before, she is one of my favorite singers. I am fond pf what I have heard of his music, and he is sexy. On this CD he sings fis own songs and songs written by Tim Curry, David Bowie among others.  I actually prefer his cover of "Putting Out Fire" to David Bowie's recording of it. I still like the original, but I think Loka Nunda's recording is better. He has released three CD's. Some of his songs are sexually explicit and kinky. The videos are definitely sexy. He makes references to watersports and leather in songs like "Cum Together," Hung Punk Dude," and "Hot Leather Boy." His songs also have a great beats. I may have to buy his music on MP3's, because the CD's tend to be expensive. I do want to get more of his music. He has a great voice too. I am definitely glad I found out about his music.

Paul Oakenfold: Getting Lost in the Beat

Starting off the day to the beat of Paul Oakenfold on a Perfecto Radio CD. It is a good way to wake up. This would be good music to help the work day go faster. It would also be good for sex and dancing, of course. I cannot remember how I first got into the DJ work of Paul Oakenfold, but he is one of the best. I think he could turn almost any music into great dance music. I would like to be at one of the big dance parties where Paul Oakenfold, Timo Maas, Tiesto, or one of the other great DJ's is playing. That would be fun as long as I don't have to put up with bitchy attitudes from young guys. Well I could ignore them and focus on having a good time. It is easy to get lost in good dance music. It can be like a drug without the bad effects that can come with them. The only thing I did not like about Radost FX, the club in Prague, was the attitude of the young gay guys. They were only interested in young guys, and they acted as if I was not there. Well it's their loss. I still had a good time getting lost in the music. A straight guy from Ukraine did buy me a couple of drinks because of my Soviet hockey jersey. He introduced me to the DJ. He had a gay friend, but he was not there that night. I wish I could have gone back another night and met him. I could have got some Ukrainian cock maybe. On the walls of the club they showed video of people who had been there on previous nights, and I was captured by the camera for a future night which is now long past. It would be fun to be in a club where there is great dance music and anything is allowed on the dance floor. I could get lost with a man and give all of my attention to pleasing him. I could focus all of my attention on giving and receiving pleasure.

Kinky Gay Sex Talk

Some people say that it is better to be pissed off than to be pissed on. I say that it depends on who is doing the pissing. I would prefer being pissed in though actually. I would like to find a man who would pee in my mouth in front of his friends. The guy in Rhode Island was going to do that, but I was not with him long enough for him to do that. I would love to take hikes with a man in the woods and drink his urine every time he has to go. I have drunk from a few guys, and I love doing it. I like to take a man's cock in my mouth and let him pee then to continue to suck him until he gets hard then cums in my mouth. I don't care if it is mild or has a strong taste, but I only like it if it is fresh. I do not like the taste of cold urine, disgusting. I love pleasing a man. I like being spanked, but I am very particular about whom I allow to spank me. It is something that has to be agreed on before hand, and I do not like to be spanked too hard. I prefer that he use his hand, but I have a leather-lined paddle that has not yet been used. I am waiting for the right circumstances and the right man. I like piercing and tattoos, but I am not fond of that pain. Local anesthetic was used when I got my P.A. That was the only time a woman has handled my penis since I have reached adulthood. It had not been handled by a woman since I was a baby. I cannot be sure it was done then, but I am pretty sure that it had to have been done when my diaper was being changed. Anyway, another thing I would like to try is for a man to unzip my pants and put his cock in them and pee. I do like the feeling of wetting my pants, but I rarely do that. I do not do it at all now, because I do not live alone. I  do like leather, but I cannot afford it now....maybe some day. I may write later about my other kinks. It depends on whether or not I get comments.

More Explicit Sex Talk

I still swing back and forth between wanting to be in a committed relationship and being a total slut. To be honest I don't know if either of them will happen anytime soon. I enjoy sex with someone I love very much, but I also like sucking the cock of someone I barely know. I know that the latter is risky behavior,  but it is so much fun. The idea of giving a blow job with a lot of guys watching still turns me on. If I were in a relationship with someone who wanted me to please his friends I would be willing to do that as long as I have some control over whom I please. To me swallowing a man's cum is a very intimate act. I enjoy having a man cover my face with his precum then having it on my face as I go through the day. This is especially true if it is a man I love, to have whatever I can get from his cock after he has covered my face. It is like having part of him inside and on me. I have swallowed the cum of two men in one day, but I would not object to swallowing the loads of more than one man. One day I was watched by a man as I sucked another man off, and then later I did give head to the guy who watched the first blow job. That was a totally hot day. I definitely would love to be able to marry a loving man one day and be in a committed relationship with him, but I also fantasize about having a large number of friends with benefits. In friendship and marriage I am submissive, but, as I said before, there are limits to that. There has to be mutual respect. That doesn't mean I don't like being a cum dump.

Krzysztof Penderecki/Johnny Greenwood

This CD has two pieces by Krzysztof Penderecki, "Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima" and Polymorphia" and two pieces by Johnny Greenwood, Popcorn Superhet Receiver" and "48 Responses to Polymorphia." They are played by the Aukso Orchestra. Penderecki conducts his pieces, and Marek Moś. I did not know until I read the notes on the music on the CD that "Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima" was originally entitled "8:37." That was the length of its first performance. According to Ronen Givony, the author of the liner notes, he changed the title when he first heard the piece in concert. I had not heard "Polymorphia." In this, as in many of Penderecki's pieces, the instruments are played using unorthodox techniques such as pencils being used as bows on the strings. Greenwood's pieces definitely reflect the influence of Penderecki, but to me they have a softer edge in places. I would definitely like to hear more orchestral pieces, and I hope he develops his own style as a composer. I am not saying that he copies Penderecki. He has his own style of composition. I would just like to hear his style become more strongly his own.

This Is Kevin and Other Music from Slovakia

I am starting off the day with some Slovak electronic music from a group called This Is Kevin. There are videos by them on Youtube. Most of the songs with lyrics are in English,  They have a song about not understanding Slovak. The singer says that people ask him questions in Slovak, and he tells them "Nerozumiem po slovensky." He then says to them "Ne hovorim po slovensky." He cannot get them to believe that he does not speak Slovak. It is a fun song. Several of their songs have samples from jazz greats. One of my favorite songs by them is called "To Pasteur." That song is sung in Slovak and has an abstract video.

Other Slovak musicians I like very much are Dežo Ursiny, Richard Müller, Peter Lipa and Milan Lasica. Dežo Ursiny started recording music in the 1960s. He did a Slovak version of the Beatles' song, "She Loves You." Richard Müller has recorded songs in Slovak and Czech. Most of what I have by him would I consider soft rock. I have several CD's by him. Peter Lipa is a jazz musician. Milan Lasica is a comedian who started big-band style jazz. One of his songs is entitled, "Dobrý večer, slečna." I have some other music in Slovak. I will write about that as I find the CD's in my disorganized collection.

I only have seen one film from there. "Hana a jej bratia." I wrote about that in an earlier post. I do not know if other Slovak movies are available.

In Prague I was disappointed that some people looked down on people from Slovakia. There are prejudices everywhere. I do not like to admit it, but I struggle with some prejudices myself, but I am working on that.

Sprostitveni vikend: sem se zabaval ob gledanju DVD-jev in poklepetati s (A Relaxing weekend: I had fun watching DVD's and chatting with a Slovenian friend on Facebook)

I did not do as much studying as I wanted to do this weekend, but I was able to get some needed rest. I also enjoyed watching some DVD's. I had a good time chatting with a Slovenian friend on Facebook. I did have to use Google translate, but I am slowly learning some words and phrases. I would like to be able to communicate with him in Slovenian without using a translator, but it is hard to find books on that language in the U.S. I enjoy meeting people from other countries online. Slovenia looks like a beautiful country, and it is one of the countries I would like to visit. I have been slowly learning about its history.

It is funny that before I went to Prague I was telling someone about my plans. He asked if I was going to visit family in Yugoslavia. I told him that I did not have family there, but he would not believe me. I could not get him to believe that I was not from there. At that time Yugoslavia had split into several countries.

For me learning about different cultures and learning new languages is exciting. I plan on doing more research in Slovenian history and culture. If anybody can recommend sources I would appreciate it.

Nisem naredil toliko študira, kot sem si želel narediti ta vikend, vendar sem bil sposoben, da bi dobili nekaj potreben počitek. Prav tako sem užival gledal nekaj DVD-jev. Imel sem dober čas poklepetati s slovenskim prijateljem na Facebooku. Sem moral uporabiti Google translate, vendar sem počasi učenje nekaj besed in fraz. Rad bi, da bi lahko komuniciral z njim v slovenskem jeziku, ne da bi s pomočjo prevajalca, vendar je težko najti knjige na ta jezik v ZDA uživam spoznavanje ljudi iz drugih držav na spletu. Slovenija izgleda lepo državo, in to je ena od držav, bi rad na obisk. Bil sem počasi spoznavanje njeni zgodovini.

To je smešno, da je, preden sem šel v Prago, sem komu povedati o mojih načrtih. Je vprašal, če sem bil tekoč, da bi obiskali družino v Jugoslaviji. Rekel sem mu, da nisem imel družino tam, ampak me ne bi verjeli. Nisem mogel priti do njega, da verjamem, da nisem od tam. V tistem času se je Jugoslavija razdeljena na več držav.

Za mene, spoznavanje različnih kultur in učenje novih jezikov je razburljivo. I načrt o tem več raziskav v slovenski zgodovini in kulturi. Če lahko kdo priporoči virov sem cenil.

Laibach: Videos and a film about WAT

Laibach is a very interesting group. They started performing in 1980, but it they were not able to perform legally in their homeland of Slovenia until 1987. Their name was a source of controversy, Laibach was the German name given to the city of Ljubljana during the occupation during World War II. The group formed in the city of Trbovlje, an industrial city known for its political activities. There is one song in Slovenian on this DVD collection of their music videos, "Država." It was done as part of a performance with the English dancer, Michael Clark. The rest of the songs are in English and German. The video for their cover of the Rolling Stone song "Sympathy for the Devil" reflects one of the sources of inspiration of the song, The Master and Margarita. It was filmed in the Castle Prodjama and the Caves of Skocjan. It features the members of the band in what some might consider a barbaric feast of meat. There are some symbols that appear in several of the videos. Their logo of a simple black cross appears often. Before they could perform legally their concerts were advertised with this logo appearing by itself, and their first album had this as the only decoration without their name appearing. In a few of the videos this cross is transformed into a type of chessboard where four people could play. It reflects the war theme of the game. In the video "Das Spiel Ist Aus" the board is seen most explicitly as a chessboard as four men are seen playing a game of this board. In several of the videos deer appear. Several of the videos remind me of the films of Leni Riefenstahl. They did a cover of the Queen song "One Vision" in German as "Geburt EIner Nation." This video was done with the participation of Scipion Nasice Sisters Theatre. On this DVD there is also a film of their album "WAT" (We Are Time). Two of the songs from that album are represented in the videos, Tanz Mit Laibach" and "Das Spiel Ist Aus." "Tanz Mit Laibach" deals with friendship between the U.S. and German. Milan Fras, the lead vocalist for the band, says that this friendship is essential. He said that "Das Spiel Ist Aus" is a warning, and that is the reason the song was recorded in German. Laibach's music has continuously changed and provoked thought. The statements made by the band are often ambiguous and reflect an intellectualism not often heard from rock bands.

"Corvus Corax: Der Könige der spielleute" und "Laibach: Divided States Tour"

I decided to watch "Corvus Corax: Der Könige der spielleute" and "Laibach: Divided States Tour." The Corvus Corax DVD has a concert by the group in Germany, and it has some documentary footage of the group. They are a German band who play Medieval music what is very lively. Their music is a lot of fun. The concert footage is too short. In the documentary footage people speak in German, but over their voices is someone saying In English what they said in German. I think it would have been better if they had used subtitles. I do not know if they are still together. I think the members of the band were sexy when this DVD was produced. In the band at one time there were five bagpipes and two percussionists. They played Renaissance festivals around Europe and the United States. Their bagpipes were made by one of the band members, Wim. Their performances in concert are very lively, and their energy is reflected in the audience. I do not think it would be possible to stand still at one of their concerts. It is clear that they enjoy two of my passions, music and beer. I only have one of their CD's, but I may get more of them. The one I have is a collection of their greatest hits.

The Laibach DVD is a documentary about their 2004 concert tour of the United States following the reelection of George Bush the lesser. It was direced by Sašo Podgoršek. It features interviews with people who had attended their concerts during the tour. There is a diversity among those who were interviewed. These include a taxi driver, an American fascist, a representative of the church of Satan and a father with his young daughters. The tour started in Washington, D,C, "within gun shot distance of the White House." The name of the tour comes from the media in the U.S. referring to red and blue states during the presidential election. The DVD included a concert the group performed in Paris. The concert reminds me of a political rally. The musicians stand still while they perform rock music with a driving beat, They sing in German and English. Laibach in their early days used fascist symbolism to show to the people of Slovenia the face of fascist extremism. It the Divided States Tour they speak of the fear of what could possibility of what could happen in the U.S. in the face of the government's war on terrorism which was fed on paranoia. The people interviewed said that the message of the concert reflected the fears that they felt. I felt the same way at the time, and I can see that there is the possibility of fear-based action to fight terrorism. An interesting group, Bonfire Madigan, played in some of their concerts. They appear briefly in the documentary, the lead singer plays the cello as she sings. I will see if I can find more of their music.

Plans for the weekend: Studying languages, watching films, relaxing and sleeping late.

I need to spend some time this weekend studying languages. I will also watch at least one film in Czech, German, Italian, Polish, Spanish or another language. That will help with my comprehension, and I can enjoy watching the movies. I wish I had someone with whom I could practice speaking Czech, Slovak, Polish, German and Russian, because I do not want to mispronounce the words. I was told that what Russian I know I say without an accent, but I am still a bit insecure about my ability to properly pronounce things in these languages. Watching films in these languages with subtitles helps me with pronunciation, but I tend to be afraid of making mistakes. I would still be nervous about making mistakes with people who speak these languages, but I would not let my nervousness stop me from making an effort. I would want to know the areas where my pronunciation needs to be corrected and the things that I pronounce correctly. Eventually I would stop being nervous, maybe. I would like to be able to watch some films in other languages with subtitles in that language. That would be a great help in learning pronunciation. I would feel uncomfortable going to a country without knowing some of the language. I would want to adapt myself to the culture there. I would not want to expect people to speak to me in English. I would really like to travel to places where I would be forced to learn the language. That would be a very enjoyable thing for me.

I definitely plan on relaxing this weekend. I will probably sleep late Saturday and Sunday. It would be nice if I had someone with whom I could walk and talk. I will be able to do that again one day. In the meantime I will enjoy walking by myself. Maybe I will meet someone with whom I can converse. I have had a few conversations with people downtown when it is warm outside.

The t-shirt with the Slovenian flag on it arrived today. I bought it on eBay. I will wear it to work on Monday. I want to learn more about that country. What I have learned about it is interesting. I will write about that later when my brain has recharged some.

Dnes je piatok (Heute ist Freitag)

Слава Богу, сегодня пятница, Díky bohu, že dnes je pátek. That means more to me today. I have the weekend off. So I will be able to rest two days off together. I will probably sleep late Saturday and Sunday. I plan on exercising my imagination and doing some writing. I want to watch at least one movie. I will definitely be kind to myself. I will spend time online chatting with people. Sometimes they will have to wait for responses from me. I have a tendency to let that make me nervous. I don't know why. I am going to have to remember to relax and let them wait. Fortunately I do not have money to spend on online. I have enough purchases on the way from Russia, the Czech Republic and other places in the U.S. I did order from a company on the second, and they charged my order to my Paypal account. The order has not been shipped. I have lost my patience with them, because they have not offered an explanation. I have asked. Anyway, I hope I get it soon.

I am listening to DJ Vadim again, and that is contributing to my good mood. I am now listening to "Soldier" featuring Big Red 5nizza. That song has one of my favorite raps. I cannot understand all of it. It is in very fast French, but I can understand a lot of it. The rap and the music of this song put me in a good mood. I cannot remain still while listening to it.

I am getting along with most of the people at work. They are learning that I can be easy to get along with, but I do not put up with any shit. I do not get angry, but I use humor. This is going to be a good day even though I am working. At least I am making some money.

Bullshit Still Continues to Come Out of the Mouths of Republicans

Republicans continue to claim that raising the minimum wage and regulating carbon emissions are bad for the economy and would harm the economy. They ignore the damage that the large salaries of many CEO's inflict on the economy. If the minimum wage were raised more people would buy more things, and this would stimulate the economy. Wealthy CEO's tend to hoard whatever money they make. They often put it into bank accounts abroad where they can avoid paying taxes on it. Regulations cutting carbon emissions are needed to protect the environment. The main polluters can definitely afford whatever costs these regulations would cause. They seem to only to think in the short term. They do not care that they are making the planet unlivable for future generations. The salaries of many CEO's could easily be cut. They are making way too much money now. The people who say that these things would harm the economy only show that they are out of touch with reality, and they care nothing about the majority of the people whom they are supposed to represent and the earth on which we live. It is time to vote these liars out of office, and vote in people who will do things that will help the economy and the environment. The 99% need to teach the 1% a lesson.

Starting the Day off with MC Solaar, DJ Cam and a Touch of Rage

Sometimes it is hard to decide what music start the day off with. I was going to listen to Rage Against the Machine, but I found a CD I had been looking for, "The Beat Assassinated" by DJ Cam. I did listen to a couple of RATM songs, but I had DJ Cam fits my mood right now. I do like the energy and politics of RATM, but I had been listening to MC Solaar, and if I had more time this morning I would listen to DJ Vadim and Manau. My first French Hip Hop CD was by Manau. I saw it in a store. I did not know anything about them, but I wanted some new French music, so I took a chance. I was hooked on their music immediately. Their lyrics are fun, and the instrumentation is great, especially the bagpipes and other instruments one usually does not hear in Hip Hop. A friend introduced me to DJ Cam and DJ Vadim. Not surprisingly my favorite part of "The Beat Assassinated" is the beat. That does not mean that mean that I do not like other aspects of the music. There are some great raps on the disc. I am happy I found this CD. I had accidentally put in in the case with another CD by DJ Cam. Most of the raps are in English on this CD. There is more French on this CD. "U Can't Lurn Imaginashun" by DJ Vadim. I definitely want to get more music by these two. I would like to find some rap in more languages, especially, German, Czech, Slovak and Russian. I have some Russian and French Reggae on some CD's. I am not ready to stop listening to DJ Cam, but I have to go to work. The disc will still be in my computer when I get home, so I will continue listening to it when I get home. Then I can move on to DJ Vadim. Life is good.

German Is Definitely a Language I Want to Learn

I definitely would like to learn to speak German. For me German pronunciation is more logical than English pronunciation. English pronunciation is not very logical. I do believe that I could learn to speak German. When I do not let myself get too insecure about my language abilities, German pronunciation comes naturally. I have learned to understand German some, but I want to learn more. I have several German films on DVD that I enjoy watching. Sometimes I can figure out how to spell German words when I hear them spoken. I am not always able to do this, but it does make me feel good when I am able to do it. On a few occasions I have been able to look up a word I have heard in a film to see if it was translated correctly in the subtitles. When I get the spelling correct simply by hearing it it is like scoring a goal in hockey or soccer. Germany is one of the countries I would like to visit. People do often think that I am German, so it would make sense for me to learn the language. It would definitely be great to be able to use German in a hot sexual encounter.

Yoko Ono

I am starting off the day with Yoko Ono. I know people who say "I can't stand Yoko Ono." I ask them if they have heard her music. Their answer is always negative. They base their opinion on what is perceived to have happened with The Beatles. Even some people I know who do not like their music say that they do not like her, because they think that she caused their split up. I don't want to spend much time writing about that. I have played her music without saying who it is for people who have never heard her music yet say they do not like it. The response is usually positive. She had a music and art career long before she met John Lennon. She studied composition, and she had worked with other experimental musicians like John Cage and Ornette Coleman. The style of singing that she uses in many of her songs is a classical Japanese style. I saw a film that she did in the early 1960s, "Satan's Bed." There is a scene where she is singing. I think that her detractors would be shocked at the quality of her voice. There are songs where she does all of the vocals, and sometimes she sings in different styles in the background vocals. She has shown a lot of strength in the face of continuous attacks by people who say often cruel things about her. She is still going strong. The first album I bought by her was "Season of Glass" in 1981. I bought her music before I had bought anything by John Lennon or The Beatles. I was first interested in her music based on its own merit. I have long been interested in experimental music and art, so it is only natural for me to be drawn to her works. I am also drawn to people who stand strongly and do not let negative talk detract them from their artistic goals or their personal beliefs.

I do not understand people who listen to what is said about something or someone without looking into what or who is being talked about.

Winning an eBay Auction, so I will have a Soviet, a Russian, a Czech and a Ukrainian Jersey; Working Short Ten-Hour Days and Being My Own Best Friend

I won my first auction on eBay, so I got my fix. I was able to get a Russian Hockey Jersey. So I am getting three hockey jerseys, Czech, Ukrainian and Russian. I got a good price on it. I had a friend who was a big hockey fan, and I am a bit sad that she won't be able to see them. She died in February of 2013. She loved the Soviet jersey that I have. I do miss her, but she is still alive in my memories. I will wear these jerseys partly in honor of her memory. I will also wear them in honor of the people of the countries that these jerseys represent. I will have to stay away from ebay and Amazon.com for awhile. I have a tendency to use online as a sort of retail therapy. I just have to keep it from getting out of hand.

I have been working ten hour days, and they seem short now. It does not leave me much time to do much during the evening. The work load might get lighter, but I hope it does not get too light. I want to work a forty-hour week. I hope that happens. I still hope that I will be able to move back to Kansas someday, to Lawrence that is. My friends there are in my heart. Knowing they are friends helps.

I am finding happiness within myself. I know that some day my situation will improve, but in the meantime I am learning to be my own best friend. My right hand is my only sex partner now. There are hot guys who don't know what they're missing. Some day they will find out, or one or a few of them.

Joan Jett and Nina Hagen

I am listening to one of my "theme songs," "Bad Reputation"by Joan Jett. I am happiest when I have this attitude. It is possible to be altruistic and not put up with shit. No matter what you do somebody is going to complain. Last night i saw that somebody had reported me to Facebook for posting nudity, but I had not posted anything that had gone against their policy. I have shared pictures of sexy men. I do sort of wonder who it was and what they reported, but I am not going to worry about it. Anyway, I remember when Joan Jett's first two albums came out, "Bad Reputation" and "I Love Rock 'n' Roll." I bought the second one first, as did many people. Her second one was the first by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. I was drawn to the theme of some of her songs and her connection to the Sex Pistols. Some members of the Sex Pistols played on some of the songs on her first album. The first time I saw the name of her band, before I bought the albums, I thought they were Joan Jett and the Blackheads.

It is interesting to me that two of my favorite singers. Joan Jett and Nina Hagen, had connections to the Sex Pistols. I love the eclecticism of Nina Hagen's music. I prefer the songs that she has done in German, but I still like the songs that she has done in English. The first time I saw a video for her song, "New York New York," when MTV played music videos, the veejay said that "surprisingly" she had been trained as a classical singer. I thought, "What an idiot." That song combines rap and operatic singing, and it was obvious what kind of training she had had. I lost track of both of these singers for awhile, but I started listening to both of them again. They are different from each other musically, but neither of them worry about their reputations and perform the kind of music that they want to do. Unfortunately Nna Hagen's latest albums have not been released in the U.S., but they can be found on Amazon.

At times it seems that I have people accuse me more of "bad behavior" when I "behave," so I have learned not to worry about it. I have consideration for the feelings of others, but I am the one I have to live with all of the time.