T-Shirts that Make the Wearer Look Bad

People who wear t-shirts that insult other people make themselves look bad to me. Yesterday I saw a man who was wearing one that said, "Stand back: I'm allergic to stupid." It would be more effective if it said stupidity instead of stupid. If you are going to insult others lack of intelligence make sure that you do so in correct English or whatever language you use on your t-shirt. I am not fond of trying to make oneself look better by putting others down anyway. I have seen t-shirts that read "Sarcasm: Just one of my many talents." I have been tempted to ask the wearer of that shirt if s/he is being sarcastic and has few talents. I think I will ask the next person I see wearing that shirt. People who wear t-shirts that insult others do not deserve any mercy. Either don't wear clothing that shows your own ignorance while insulting others or be ready pay the consequences.

Timothy Leary and LSD

When I read some essays by Harlan Ellison I was reminded of a misconception held by the majority of people concerning Timothy Leary. In one of the essays Mr. Ellison stated that Dr. Leary had been in favor of the indiscriminate use of LSD. He must not have read Dr. Leary's writings about LSD. He was in favor of the careful use of LSD. He said that not everybody should use it. He also said that one should only do LSD in a safe environment with people that one trusts completely. He warned against those with schizophrenia doing LSD. He was definitely against the indiscriminate use of LSD. I have done LSD twice. The first time was not very pleasant. It seemed like I was stuck in a time loop that was never going to end. The second time was uneventful but pleasant. I would like to do it again, and I plan on remembering the precautions that Dr. Leary advised.

"Harlan Ellison's Watching"

Harlan Ellison's Watching is a collection of film criticism by the author. I do not always agree with his opinions, but I agree with him more often than not. After reading what he wrote about some of the films I want to see quite a few movies that I have not seen. After reading some of the others I am glad that I have not seen some of them. I agree with what he said about "Star Trek - The Motion Picture," but he was not aware of some of the things that caused it to be a rather boring movie. Close to the time when it came out I met George Takei at a science fiction convention at eh banquet before the con. He said that there were things that were taken out of the film script, because the studio insisted on the film having a G rating. Because of this some things that were said in the movie did not make sense. There were times when a character would walk on screen then walk off without saying or doing anything, because what they said or did had been cut. I agree with him about "Star Wars." (That is what it was called when it was released, so that is what I am going to call it.) I still have not watched it from beginning to end in one sitting. It is not a bad movie, but nothing outstanding. On the other hand I do not agree with him about "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" He said that if you did not love it your opinion about anything was worthless. I liked that movie, but I did not love it. I preferred Ralph Bakshi's "Cool World." He listed "The Wizard of Oz" as one of his favorites. It is one of my least favorite. It does give me some satisfaction to read opinions that are similar to my own when those opinions do not reflect the opinions of the majority of people. Harlan Ellison was always an entertaining writer with great integrity. Fortunately his books are still around to entertain us.

Adult Content on a Saturday Afternoon

Some things have changed. There is someone who claims to be a friend who wants me to pay him to suck his dick. I told him that I do not pay friends for that. He brings up that I had paid a couple of friends to do this. This may be true, but it is something that I no longer do. I am still friends with the guys he mentioned, but I no longer do anything sexual with them. Well, I may do something with one of them, but I won't pay him. I am not going to pay someone whom I respect as a friend to suck his dick. I am tempted to pay one guy to get his cock in my mouth, but he is not someone I consider a close friend. He wants more money than I am willing to pay anyway. He says that he gives the best golden showers and has the best pee in town. I have been tempted to ask him whose pee he has been drinking. Thinking about giving him oral pleasure is about to make me hard. I don't need to pay for dick when I can get it free. I sucked a friend's cock under a tree earlier today. I rimmed him too. He wanted me to cum, but I have a hard time cumming until the other guy does. We were interrupted by the sound of sirens going by. He was not able to cum or pee. Hopefully we will be able to play again.

"Dirty White Boys" by Stephen Hunter

Dirty White Boys, by Stephen Hunter, was published in 1994. It has an entertaining beginning, but it loses its way. Things became too predictable. Some of the characters are interesting, but there is too much emphasis put on one of the main characters having a big dick. The turns in the plot are usually unbelievable or too blatant. Issues are resolved too easily and too suddenly in places. Some of the characters are just types not well-rounded characters. The book could have been shorter without losing anything. It would have made things a little more interesting if at least one of the main characters had been gay. I wouldn't expect anything earthshaking from this book. It does have fun sections, but mostly they are at the beginning of the novel. They become rarer as the book continues. If you don't have any other books to read it provides a way to pass time.

Court Cases

I went to court recently. The case was continued. I have another charge to face in court next month. I hope that I can have the same public defender for both cases. The charge that is continued is for possession of drug paraphernalia. I was in a car with friends when we were pulled over. It could not be proven that I owned the items I claimed to own. I did not want to cause unnecessary problems for my friends. I was searched, but the police officer did not notice the item that I had in my pocket. The other charge is for shoplifting. I was depressed, and I took unnecessary risks by boosting in a store two days in a row. The adrenaline rush lifted my mood. I know that there are better ways to get out of a depressed mood, but they are not as much fun. I do not steal from friends, but I am still tempted to shoplift. I have not been doing it lately, and I probably won't unless certain friends ask me to do it. It is funny that I started breaking the law more at the age of 58.

"The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless Versus the Rest of Us" by Martha Stout, PhD

The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless Versus the Rest of Us is an interesting books, but it is lacking in ways. The author says that four per cent of the population is sociopathic. She repeats this point too often in the book. The main characteristic of the sociopath is the lack of a conscience. I am relieved to learn that I am not a sociopath. According to Dr. Stout sociopaths often become addicts. She does not seem aware that often people who are heavily addicted to drugs often do things they would not do if they were not addicts. We might feel guilty doing some things in some circumstances that we might not do in others. I know that I am not the only one who might not feel guilty about stealing from a corporation but would feel guilty about stealing from a person. My conscience is stronger when I am dealing with people I love. It can be almost absent when I deal some others. There is nothing that deals with possibilities in the book. Se paints too many things as being black or white. She also focuses too much on heterosexuals. I did learn some things from the book. It is entertaining. It could be better though.

Loosening up my Writing Style

I'm trying to loosen up my writing style, but it isn't easy. Just using contractions is a bigger step for me than most people might think. I was influenced by perfectionists, my father and a few teachers. I should have gotten over that by now. I don't want this blog to be too formal. Using profanity was another part of loosening up in writing and in talking. I still do use it sparingly and with variety. Overuse of one word or expression can be fucking boring. Sometimes I bore myself when I am writing it. I am starting to enjoy writing more. There are limits as to how far I will go. I still don't use the word "ain't." I hope I don't bore the people reading it as much as I do myself.

responsibility for my own actions

One of the books that I am reading now is about sociopaths. The subject of conscience and responsibility for one's actions is dealt with. The author wrote that we often give up responsibility for our actions when we are told by an authority to do something. I cannot agree with this completely. I would not feel comfortable giving up control of my own actions. I definitely would not let an employer get me to do anything that I did not feel comfortable doing. I do like to be submissive to sex partners and some friends, but guidelines would be set before I would enter into a submissive role. I would not be submissive to someone I do not trust. The people in my life to whom I am willing to be submissive know what not to ask me to do. I do not not know whether or not I would do some things, but I would not give up responsibility for my own actions.

more thoughts

In certain situations I have been known to make people uncomfortable, not sexually but in other ways. When I was coming out my roommate would sometimes make anti-gay remarks. I think he was probably a bigger queen than I was. I got tired of his shit. Sometimes I would blow him a kiss as he was leaving the room. He would always overreact. I would also do other things  in other areas to torment him. Sometimes I would sit on a small shelf that was between the windows in our room. He had a hard time dealing with anything out of the "norm" and I have never tried to fit in. He was an easy target. At the end of the school year he wanted to be my roommate the following year, but I was moving into another dorm. I enjoy making stiff, conservative aware that their points of view are not the only ones. In a class we read a story about a man with a double life. He was having an affair and at the same time he was married with children. In class I said that we all live double lives, because we all have things in our private lives that we hide from other people. I remember that others in the class were shocked by my statement. I enjoy making idiots think, although they may be allergic to doing that. Some people have been made uncomfortable by things on my t-shirts, but I do not choose clothing in order to do that. I do not give a fuck what most people think about my attire.

thoughts

The thing that I want most for my friends, especially my closest friends, is that they feel good for themselves. I do not want to lose any friends, but I would prefer to lose a friend than for them to feel bad about themselves. As for those who are not friends or part of my family I don't give a fuck. I would not want a friend to do something sexual or other with or for me that would make him feel uncomfortable. I would not want me to do anything for him that would make him uncomfortable. Mutual consent and respect are very important to me.

Sometimes the idea that I would do certain things for a friend if he wants but only if he wants along with the idea that he knows that I would do that thing can be enough. This can be an issue of trust. There are few men whom I would I tell that I would do anything that I can or them. There is a friend who knows what power he could have over me, but he does not abuse that power. It would not be good for us to do anything sexual together, because he is heterosexual and he does not want tht to happen. What I enjoy most about our friendship is that I can talk with him about things I cannot discuss with anyone else.

I miss my best friend. I see him twice a week. Soon I won't be able to see him that often. We are going to keep in touch. He keeps me going. He has helped more than he knows. I want to be around for him when he gets out of prison. I want to continue to be a support for him and anythings that he wants or needs for me to do for him.