As open as I try to be there are still things that I hide from even my closest friends. I do not talk about them about my questions concerning faith. I keep my lack of emotional reaction to some devastating events hidden. I know that I need to deal with some things. It scares me sometimes how cold my heart can be. I am afraid of falling in love with my closest friends, but at the same I can feel completely indifferent towards other people. I rarely have any contact with my family. I do not make any effort to communicate with them. Part of that is because they do not accept me as I am. I don't know how I would react if there was a death in my family. I feel completely detached from them. I don't know how many cousins I have who are still living. Actually I have never known how many cousins I have had. As you can see I need to work on some issues.
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