Feeling Uneasy

Today I am going to go to a service at a church that I used to attend. I am somewhat nervous about this. I started feeling uncomfortable there. It is one of the churches in this city that I helped to start, but people started treating me like an outsider when I returned after I had lived in another city. People tended to believe rumors they heard about and judging me based on these rumors instead of asking if the rumor were true. I lived in a house close to the church, and some people would watch to see what I was doing. They said that they were worried about me. If they were worried about me they could talk to me instead of spying on me. I have since I attended this church years ago. I changed my name. The people at the church still call me Bruce. Most of the friends I have now call me Vlk. I do not think that they are bad people. They are doing the best that they can. I don't know how they will receive me. I would like to be be wearing better clothes. I haven't shaved or had my hair cut since April. I hope that they do not judge me by my outward appearance. I hope they do not judge me at all. I hope we can all accept each other as we are. It may be time for me to move on, but I want to remain friends with some of the people at the church.