I remember when I began the coming out process in college one of the things that made it difficult was the lack of acceptance from the gay guys at school. I did not fit in with them. I knew very few people who were gay, and the ones I knew in school tended to be very bitchy. They tended to look down on guys who did not dress like they did and listen to the music they did. I was more into punk than disco, and I had given up the preppy look before it got popular. I now know that the LGBT community is more diverse than I then thought. In school I got along better with the lesbians than I did with the gay guys. They knew that I was gay. Instead of helping me to feel comfortable with who I was they would make catty comments that made me feel uncomfortable. It was not until later that I met gay men who accepted me as I am.
I long for the day when coming out is not necessary. I would like to be able to speak about having a boyfriend and someday a spouse of the same gender without having to come out. I do not hide who I am. If someone asks if I am attracted to a woman or seem to say that I am attracted to a particular woman, I make it clear that I do not swing that way.
Too often we let differences separate us from other people instead of finding common ground.
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