More Early Writing

Here are some more examples of my early writing, just little bits of absurdity. some of these were written using a typewriter.

oh no, not again

i woke up and found the music of the spheres stuck to the bottom of my foot. i tried for three thousand years to wash it off, but i had no success. i have spoken with a limp ever since.


letters one after another on a page

from the time that he was born until the time that he died he spent most of his time breathing. this sometimes got him in trouble with the highway patrol who did not like the competition.
three million years after he died, in a pawn shop on the edge of marcia, a clock was unplugged and time was temporarily stoned.
but six million years before that happened aunt jane got lost while shopping for an extra-large stainless-steel condom for her gynecologist's nephew's lover. she never arrived for the meeting of the committee that was meeting to plan to protest against discrimination in hiring against dead people with disabilities.
the next day was the day after.


a science-fiction epic

his goal was to protect the world from an invasion by an armada of women named bob. to meet this goal he armed all of the left-handed barbers in new jersey with paper clips, pop bottles and ben-gay.
however the invasion was called off because of a shortage of caviar on the planet ralph. instead the head bob decided to throw a tree-bark-tasting party.
because of the the cancellation thaddeus, the hero of our tale, decided to start publishing a newspaper which featured the news, but the idea was too radical and he could get no advertisers.
anyway the universe was eaten by a giant insect on its day off.

There is more to come soon.