more absurdity

Here's some more of my stuff:


punctuation

nothing came into town with  time on his hands. fortunately he had some industrial strength soap with him and was able to get his hands clean. however the lavatory that he used refused to function, because it had developed an inferior superiority complex. a jungian plumber had to be consulted to alleviate the situation.
in the meanwhile nothing was done.
simultaneously in a dimension next door food was being sold, even though slavery had been abolished. turnips were forced to spend long hours checking hats and coats in coal mines, this caused an epidemic of epidemic proportions. later in the week nothing, having grown bored, wrote a biography of boredom's nephew, drew. he did this on three thousand five hundred and sixty-two index cards. while taking a break from this activity he saw a group of people standing in line to stand in single file behind a statue of fred.
fred was one of bert's friends and was famous for being unknown.
the whole thing ended with a period
2/27/90


oh, shit

it was decided that only news that would have some prurient value would be allowed on the six o'clock news, making it more uplifting. thus it was that not another politician was ever seen on this programme, not even dan quayle even he had his nose replaced with vanna white's left nipple.
also as a consequence of this action marjorie was forced to sell her mobile home in dubuque to a tribe of tupperware clad pygmies who had won the washington state lottery.
did you remember to vote yes to answering maybe to the question are you male or female.
o.k. you motherfuckers where's my n.e.a. grant so that i can build a miniature of a water molecule using the brains of the leaders of the republican party.
a few days later on the six o'clock news the head anchorman, holding something limp, wondered aloud if the country had realised the impotence of the political situation in hackensack since vanna white had lost her right nipple in a game of solitaire, she suspected that she had cheated, she sneezed at herself and said that at least the left one went where it would not be disturbed by thoughts.
this story is now being ended prematurely to prevent the law against boring literature from being broken.

More later.