I was over protected growing up. I was not allowed to do yard work, because my Mother afraid that it would bother my allergies. What I was most encouraged to do when I was growing up was to read. As long as I can remember I have enjoyed reading. I remember having friends with whom I played when I was growing up, but there not many. I remember growing up with the fear of getting hurt. I was always smaller than the other children my age. One of the many things about which other children made fun of me was that I was very bad at sports. I never had anyone try to help me to feel comfortable with these activities. I only had people laugh at me. I never had anyone teach me to swim. I always enjoyed playing in pools, and I eventually taught myself to swim somewhat. In high school I did learn how to ice skate, but nothing fancy. I just enjoyed going around the rink. My sisters had jobs when they were in high school, but I was not allowed to do this. My mother said that I studied so much during the school year that I needed to relax during the summer not work. It seems like a lot of survival skills most people are taught when growing up I never learned. I had no clue how to look for a job. The first job I got was as a receptionist in the dorm at college. The way I got the job was definitely not the usual way of finding employment. On Friday nights the guys in the dorm wanted to go to parties and drink. They taught me how to answer the phone, use the intercom, etc. I did not know that I was not supposed to do this. Receptionists were supposed to get the job through the financial aid office. I did this a couple of times during my first semester. The dorm counselor should not have allowed me to do this. Anyway, I did a good job at it the times that I did it, and I was hired through the proper channels for the spring semester. Still I was not allowed to work during the summer. My father had died while I was in high school, and I got Social Security payments from that until I was twenty-one. When I reached that age I was no longer eligible to receive the money. I took a year off from school to find a job to make enough money to finish my degree. I did not have any luck finding a job in Greensboro where I was going to school. I ended up moving back home. My Mother could not seem to understand why I did not have any job-hunting skills. What the fuck? These are not skills one is born with. I did eventually get a job at the cotton mill in town. I wanted to go to back to school. I was able to save some money, and I was able to get a federal school loan.
I mentioned earlier that I was over protected growing up. When my Father was sick with cancer his sister gave him an electric shaver. My Mother gave it to me, because she was afraid that I might cut myself while shaving. She acted like this would be a terrible thing.
I have mentioned these things to show some of the things that have contributed to who I am today. I did eventually learn some job-hunting skills to fit in somewhat in different work places, but it has always been like wearing ill-fitting clothes. I keep reading things that to find your passions and do those things. My main passions have been music, languages, reading, writing and sucking dick. I sang in choruses when I was in high school, but I am very much out of practice. I do want to get back into the study of languages. maybe someday i can write in other languages. I would like to be able to find a way to make a living in writing. I know my point of view of the world is unique. While I do enjoy sucking dick, I think I would rather write than try to start a career in porn at my age. There are older men who do that, but I prefer to please a man out of love or my own pleasure not for money.
I need to find some way to make money and to do it in a meaningful way.
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