I did not really accept that I was gay until the end of my sophomore year in college. I always knew I was on some level. I was just in major denial. I mentioned before that the first two years of school I mostly just went to class and church. I had a friend in the dorm with whom I went to church along with his girl friend. He and I would meet together to pray. He started giving me anti-gay talks. His major in school was art education. I would sometimes help him with art projects. Once I posed for him for a sculpture he did for a class. I sat all night on an ironing board with my knees up and my arms wrapped around my legs. I was fully clothed, but he was very much afraid that people would think that I had posed nude. One of the things that puzzled me about him was that he claimed to be a Christian, yet he could not understand that I enjoyed doing things for other people. That's another issue though. Actually I think I did have a bit of a crush on him. Here is one thing that is hilarious to me when looking back: I remember him saying that we should pray not to be looking at female students lustfully when we were walking across campus and they were sun bathing. I thought that God was answering my prayers. I did not admit to myself that I really noticed the good looking guys. I do remember once a bunch of guys went streaking around the quad behind the dorm. I particularly remember one guy who looked like a statue of a Greek god. Later I heard rumors that the art education friend was not as straight as he had claimed.
Most of the time in the dorms I did not become friends with roommates. My first roommate was a redneck. We definitely did not get along. He sometimes would try to start arguments, but I would never give him the satisfaction of having one. Once I had bought an album in the university bookstore. He said. "I don't spend my money on things I don't need." I just said, "OK." He stormed out of the room. Later he came in with a six pack of beer. I had a different roommates the next few semesters. I do not remember very much about them really except that was a very handsome athlete. I do not remember how long some of them were my roommate. There was one who had requested me as a roommate, because he liked my first name. He was disappointed that it was not the name that I used. (It is not the name I use now.) He liked going to a disco with his friends, and I wasn't interested in going. I did go with him one time, and I did not have a good time. This pissed his friends off. Sometimes I would do things to freak him out, and he would go running to them saying what a weird roommate he had. I had received from my Grandmother a human skull that had belonged to her Father (He had used it to study it. She had given it to me at Christmas one year, because she knew I wanted it.) I used the skull as a decoration in the room. Between the windows there was a small shelf unit, and sometimes I would sit on it and read. It was while I was rooming with him that I started coming out. He was not comfortable with my coming out. He read Hustler magazine, but I never really believed he was straight. Anyway, I didn't really give a fuck what he thought. Once when he was leaving the room I blew him a kiss, and he almost had a fit. I just had a good laugh after he left. The next semester I was moving into the international dorm (more about that later), so he was not going to be my roommate again. I was surprised that he was disappointed that we were not going to be rooming together. I never knew why he wanted to continue rooming with me. We never got along really. I never hear from him after that semester.
I went to the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Some people referred to it as UNC-Granola, because they said it was full of fruit and nuts.
No comments:
Post a Comment