I have been in a better mood. I am finally starting to be happy with who I am. If I am not happy with myself nobody else can really make me happy. It started with embracing my inner asshole. I still definitely need my friends, and it does help to know that I have friends around the world. I have met some of them, and some of them I have not yet met in person. I think if I am happy with myself I can be a better friend. I am not saying that I have arrived where i want to be in life. I will always be on the the journey there. That is not a bad thing, because I am enjoying the trip more and more. It is not always a smooth ride, but that might get boring after awhile. I do hope that I will find someone with whom I can enjoy this trip. I know that I am not perfect, but I do have things that I can share with friends and lovers. I definitely want to develop as a writer. As you can see I need to work on focus. My mind still stumbles from subject, but at least writing now is something that I enjoy instead of a chore. I have long felt the longing to write, but for a long time I stressed too much about finding the the exact word with which to best express myself. It still takes me several minutes to get started writing, but it is taking less time. I still need to work on discipline. Writing is definitely easier when I worry less about pleasing others. I do want to write things that other people will enjoy. I know that I probably will not get laid as a result of my writing like Tucker Max and some others have done, but I definitely would not object if that happened. I would still like to get feedback from readers, but I am less insecure about my writing than I was when I started this blog. Maybe I will get back into writing poetry and fiction. I don't know yet. Stay tuned, and we'll see. Thanks for everybody who reads these ramblings of an international asshole.
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