I Want More Open, Honest Communication and Less Empty Small Talk

I have never been very good at small talk. It is hard to find people who really want to communicate. A lot of people are more interested in talking than they are in listening to other people. For a lot of people asking how someone else is doing is a formality to get out of the way. They are not really interested in hearing how the other person is. Instead of listening to what the other people they are more interested in thinking of what they are going to say next. I have had people express surprise when they realize that I actually listen to and care about what they have to say. I do admit that I do not always give all of my attention to what other people say, but I do try. I am interested in hearing what other people have to say, but I also want to spend time with people who will listen to what I have to say. I do like joking and laughing with friends, but it takes time for me to relax enough with people enough to do this. It seems that with some people conversation does not move beyond surface discussions of health, weather or work. When I am not at work mostly I do not want to think too much about my job. That is one of the benefits of writing this blog. I can write about the things that interest. I am not saying that I want all of my conversations to be serious. I want the people with whom I talk to feel comfortable to talk honestly about what is on their minds. If a friend is dealing with a problem I want them to know that they can talk about it. If a friend wants to joke and laugh I want us to be able to do that. I am a strong believer in open, honest communication. I am more interested in what other people have to say than how they say it. I confess that I was once a perfectionist about grammar, but I remembered how I felt when my Father would frequently correct my grammar even in casual conversation. It made me feel very uneasy, because I never knew when he would pounce on grammatical mistakes. I realized that I do not want to make other people to feel that way when talking with me. I would like to have people around me with whom I could talk about philosophy, religion, music, art or literature, but it is more important to me to be with people with whom I do not have to censor what I say. I do not want to worry about whether or not they will be offended if I say "fuck." I would like to be around people who know what the phrase "kurwa mać" or "être con comme la lune" mean. I want so much to be back around people with whom I can enjoy good food, good beer and good conversation. It would also be nice if I could find someone with whom I can enjoy those things along with cuddling, kissing and good sex. I do not expect people with whom I talk to always agree with me, but I would want to be able to discuss calmly areas where we disagree. I would also like to find people with whom I can enjoy raunchy conversations. I do not want tense conversations. Having conversations like that is more tiring than a long workout at the gym. I guess you could say that what I want in conversation eclecticism I want in the other areas of my life.