Holidays are difficult for me as they are for many people. I enjoyed spending time. I love them, and I know they love me. My sister and I have talked about how in ways it seemed like we grew up in different families. I am not sating negative about her and her sons with whom we had Thanksgiving dinner. I find it difficult to find things that would interest the others at family gatherings. To an extent it is the same with groups of people. I am better at talking with friends and family members when I can co it one on one. Spending an evening making superficial conversation without making a real connection leaves me feeling very empty. I would like to find a better connection with my family, but at this time I am not sure how to go about doing that. I do not want to change them or myself. This is not a question of someone being right and others being wrong. It is simply that we are different from each other. The last time that my sisters and I were together in one room was at my mother's funeral and activities before and after that. It was said that our mother was the glue that held our family together, and sadly this has been proven to be true. I love my family, and I would not try to change them. I miss my friends who have become family to me over the years, and I hope I can be with them again. I would never want to say or do anything to hurt family members, and I hope that I can form more of a bond with them. Concerning the friends with whom I cannot connect in person it helps knowing that they are still friends and are still part of my extended family.
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