Self Image: Physical and Intellectual

On Facebook and some other sites I have had people say that I am sexy. My first thought is that the person is either not telling the truth or does not see very well. I have a hard time thinking of myself as sexy, yet when I see men with similar physiques I find them attractive. Mostly we are not taught to like the way we look. We tend to focus on the areas that need improvement. I am trying to develop healthy self confidence. I mentioned in an earlier post that I am a bit of an exhibitionist. This is true, but I have never felt very confident that anyone would really want to see my body. One of the things that I had hoped to enjoy with the guy in Rhode Island was going to leather bars where wearing minimal clothing was acceptable. I know that I would not be the only one whose physique was not perfect who would be showing a lot of skin. I know I would probably feel self conscious at first. I want to feel comfortable in my skin. I have a pair of tight neoprene pants that are probably too small for me now, but I enjoyed wearing them. They accented the crotch area. I never felt completely wearing them unless I was wearing a shirt long enough to conceal that area. At the same time I was a bit excited (No, not that excited) by what they accented.
I fell the same way about my intelligence. I have often been afraid of people thinking I am arrogant. The only circumstance in which I have felt comfortable giving an opinion or saying what I knew about a subject was in a classroom situation. I took a class in Latin-American Theatre. Most of the students were graduate students.I may have been the only undergraduate student. In class most of the people would just write down what the professor said. I was the only one who would get into discussions with him. He would often refer to French plays that I had studied, and I would often disagree with him. I remember he said that in Sartre's play Huis clos it is never stated that hell is other people. Anybody who knows this play knows this is not true. In the final exam's essay question I showed opinions that contradicted things he said in class, but I had all of my arguments backed up with quotes from plays translated to Spanish from French. He gave me an A+. This blog is helping me to gain more confidence in my intelligence. I have a brain, and it is time for me to use it more.