I keep reaching out to friends, and sometimes I get a response. I start to get a feeling that I will rarely know what it is like to have friends who will be there for me when I need them. I know that people have lives of their own, but sometimes just a kind word would help a lot. I get tired of reaching out to people. Sometimes I wonder why it has always been so hard for me to find true friends. I know that I have friends, but they are so far away. From time to time I feel painfully alone. I do have ideas of what I want to do with my life, but I cannot do it by myself at this time. I do need to spend more time writing. That is one thing I can do. I do need friends with whom I can talk and laugh. It would also help me if friends would come to me when they need someone to talk to. Needing to have friends is not something that just goes away. To be honest I do sometimes come close to giving up on people. I know that I cannot depend on other people to make me happy. I am the only one who can make myself happy. Part of the reason for my feeling very down sometimes may be caused by the meds I take to control my seizures, but it not the only reason. If you are reading this and you are truly a friend, please contact me from time to time.
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